Severus and Lily
by Mary Barrett
Summary: What happens when Lily Evans notices something wrong in her best friend's home life? And what if Severus was there when she read her Bible out loud... which changes his outlook on life?
1. The First Meeting

There she was.

Long, flowing hair the color of dragon's fire, falling out beneath her as she swung, higher and higher. He could not take his eyes off of her. It was a pristine, sunny day in Cokeworth, the sky a crystal shade of blue that made it seem as though the whole earth were encased in a bubble. The two sisters were flying, laughing. Innocent. The younger of the two, however, seemed to be going quite a bit higher, and it soon became clear what she intended to do.

"Lily, don't do it!" shrieked the other, as Lily propelled herself off of the swing and soared though the air. She did not fall, however; with an easy grace Petunia so conspicuously lacked, she landed seemingly without effort, like a ballerina. "Mummy told you not to!" The elder girl quickly brought herself to a stop, and stood accusingly over the younger. "Mummy said you're not allowed, Lily!" "But I'm fine. Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do." The bush behind which a pallid boy watched them was covered in flowers, and the little girl with green, almond shaped eyes took one that had fallen. It opened back and forth in her palm like a bizarre, many-lipped oyster. "Stop it!" Petunia yelled, unable to bear it. "It's not hurting you." Still, Lily crushed the bud in her hand. She did not want anything to upset the perfect day. "It isn't right. How do you do it?" Petunia was extremely curious, and also extremely jealous. How did her little sister make these things happen when she could not? Why couldn't she?

But Severus, from where he was concealed, was not interested in her at all. He could not stay put any longer. "It's obvious, isn't it?" "What's obvious?" asked Lily, even though her sister had issued yet another shriek and run backwards, unable to stop herself from watching them. She did not know whether or not to be genuinely afraid or simply angry. Anger, at least, would be easier. He lowered his voice. "I know what you are." "What do you mean?" "You're…you're a witch," Severus whispered. This did not go how he had planned. "That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!" She was about to storm off, offended, when he said, "No!" and went after them.

He was wearing a ridiculously large coat that made him look like a big bat, and the girls considered him, unsure. "You are," he said, addressing Lily, the one he had watched greedily. "You are a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My Mum's one, and I'm a wizard." Petunia's laugh was somewhat rather high and cold.

"Wizard! I know who you are. You're that Snape boy. They live down Spinner's End by the river." Disgust was evident in her tone. He was different, strange, and they were better than him. He was just poor and queer. "Why have you been spying on us?" "Haven't been spying," he returned bitterly, suddenly feeling close to suffocation. "Wouldn't spy on you, anyway. You're a Muggle," he could not help but add, somewhat spitefully. She did not ever ask what the word meant. "Lily, come on, we're leaving!" Lily gave Severus a death glare as her sister took her hand and pulled her away, leaving him with his disappointment. He had been so sure, that this time…

The day utterly ruined for him, he sat on the swing Lily had vacated, in no hurry to return home. He knew he was right, though. There was too much magic in her for her not to be a witch, he had seen it. Every young wizard could recognize accidental magic and there was no doubt he had it. She would see. He would meet up with her again at Hogwarts and maybe then she would actually talk to him.

School was only two more years away and he could hardly wait. He already spent a good chunk of his time pouring over his mother's old textbooks and was fascinated by anything having to do with the dark arts. Because maybe when he had his wand he could have some measure of control, of power in his own life. He could not wait to see the look on his filthy Muggle father's face when he finally fought back with his own string of curses and hexes… It would be the last thing the old man ever expected.

He heaved a great sigh, and began pushing himself back and forth, his feet rubbing against the asphalt. The girl once more occupied his thoughts. He had never had a friend before, in all his nine years, but especially not one as pretty as her. She had caught his attention because she could do things other children could not, and he was positive his suspicions were correct. She would be getting her letter. He had waited for so long to tell her and it had all gone wrong, and all because of her stupid Muggle sister.

But suddenly he felt someone sit down on the swing beside him. "Did you… did you really mean it?" Lily asked. Her voice was dripping with curiosity and awe; she was _hoping_ for it to be real. She had devoured fairy tales when she was little, and had an imagination more vivid then any of the other children in Cokeworth. Severus could not help it. He smiled. "Course I meant it. There are loads of witches and wizards, and a whole school where you learn it all…" Her eyes grew wide as he described in glorious detail the castle in all its splendor, the Ministry and how it kept the whole world a secret… She could scarcely believe it. He told her what being Muggle-born meant, and her incredulity gradually faded. They talked for hours, until the sun began to set and they had to part.


	2. Dismal Day

It was a cold, dismal day when his letter came, a week before his eleventh birthday. Severus was the one to check the mail, though that was not as fortunate as he first thought it was. He was tracing over and over the slithering snake on the wax Hogwarts crest when his father noticed what was in his hand. "What do you have there?"

And it was snatched away from him.

The dingy kitchen was empty except for themselves (and mother, though that did not mean much) and his heart sunk to his stomach. In his mind he had already lost the battle that was sure to ensue. "No! I am not dealing with _this._ " Severus cringed as his father read the letter, signed Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, addressed to him. That blessed word- admitted. He had never been admitted anywhere. 

"Go to your room! NOW!" Of course, as much as he would love to take back what was rightfully his, he knew better than to backtalk or disobey. He sat with his back against the door to be able to hear better, but soon found that it was not necessary. They were shouting.

"No, Eileen, he is not going to that…that _place_ to learn to be a freak like you! I am not paying some crackpot old fool to teach him magic tricks!" "You cannot change what he is. He is a wizard and he must go to Hogwarts." The younger Snape huffed, knowing his mother was right but that arguing was senseless. It always was. "One of your kind in my house is enough! I will not tolerate it, not in my son! While under my roof you answer to me, and I will not have any more weirdness!" Severus could tell that his father was drunk again, and there was no point in even trying to talk to him. He was sure to get physical soon. "I must disagree. It is essential that he receive a magical education. You cannot stamp the magic out of him…" The voices continued to grow steadily louder and crescendoed until the boy knew it could not remain on a relatively calm level. It was going to blow up, as usual.

"I will not allow you to tell me what I can and cannot do! I am king of this castle, woman, and he is not GOING TO THAT FREAKY MAGIC SCHOOL FOR YOUR DEFANGED KIND!" Wasn't it always that way? Your kind, our kind? They were different. Is that not what his mother always told him? So many whispered, hushed stories about what would be a different universe. A place where 'his kind' was accepted and learned to harness powers now unchecked. Had they proven false? "It is deranged?" Folly! Oh, how, how foolish she was! How foolish! He could hear the first blow- then the next, and the next. There was no way he could stay put. He never did, anyway. Tobias Snape was by no means a small man; in fact, he towered over his wife, and was quite burly and strong. But that did not stop his son from getting between his and his spouse and taking the majority of the blows.

When Tobias realized he had interference his fury reached its peak, and he threw Severus hard so that his head hit the grimy wood-panel floor. There was a startled noise of pain, soon stifled as the first drops of blood appeared. "How dare you defend her! Two wackos- like mother like son!" Severus was silent as he was kicked bluntly in the spine, once, twice; three times… it was never ending… Just when he thought he could stand it no longer, and that he would not be able to get up again, it ended as quickly as it started. Tobias, swaying from the effects of the alcohol, slammed the front door behind him as he went. 

It was a moment before the boy gathered his composure or had the presence of mind to stop lying there in a heap and go to his room; when he did, however, it was to his upmost dismay that his mother followed him. He sat down on the bed with a groan that revealed the tremendous effort he was making. "Severus, I…" "Get out." That was the last thing she was expecting. She flinched. "I just came to apologize." His laughter stabbed his chest, mostly because it hurt to laugh.

"To apologize? You're got to be kidding. An apology, really? That's the best you can do?" "What more do you want from me?" "I don't know. Maybe stop with your empty promises. I am so sick of it. Stop telling me it will be different next time, that he can change, and then stand around when it happens. I am so sick of it," he repeated. "You're worse than he is."

Fading, streaky sunlight streamed in through the box in the wall that passed for a window, and it played on Eileen's frown. "Don't talk like that, please, son. I'm so sorry." "Did you hear me? Don't apologize for him. I will never, ever understand you." He closed his eyes so that he could not see her. Her look of pity would be worse than anything else. "He's just going through a rough time." "Just like he always is, right? He is not in his right mind. But you, you and your empty promises…" "Oh, my darling boy, I will get you to Hogwarts, don't you worry! He will not stop me. I am bound and determined."  
Severus gave a long, drawn-out, shaky breath and opened his eyes again and looked at the woman never brave enough to stand up for himself, or him. "Your word means nothing to me, mother. I hate you for making me live through this."

How was he going to tell Lily?

"One day you will see. If you would just stay out of his way…" "Me? Me stay out of the way? You cause it! How could you, you coward?" He hoped it stung, too. The absolute nerve of her! Eileen winced again, obviously holding back tears. "You'll be a great Slytherin, like all the Princes, trust me." She left and he wept until he cried himself asleep.


	3. It Came

"It came, Sev! It really came! Oh, I am so excited." He grinned back at her, a flaming ball of radiance in all its glory. Her sun-kissed cheeks were infested with freckles, her skin bronze and aglow. Things could not be better. "Shh, Lils. Not so loud, we're in a library, huh?" She instantly settled into her chair, rustling the papers she was working on- something about the French Revolution- and making as much noise as possible (unintentionally, of course).

"Of course it did. I told you it would, didn't I?" "Tell me about Hogwarts again. I want to know everything. What the teachers are like, and the classes, and…"

Her voice suddenly dropped about ten degrees, her worry etching through it.

"Sev? Where are we going to get all of our stuff?" Lily glanced back at the crisp parchment before her, listing all of the necessary school supplies. Someone had come to her house and explained everything to her parents, like he told her they would, it was true. But she had told her she had a friend who was a wizard, who would take care of her, and that she would rather go with him.

From across the table he was smiling at her. It was an awkward, strange smile to be sure, but a smile all the same. "Diagon Alley. You'll go with us, me and Mum. She couldn't convince Dad, but is going to do it anyway." He looked away now, unable to meet her gaze, and she did not miss it. She knew his father didn't like magic, but she still shuddered.

"I can't wait!" And she meant it. No more regular, boring school- _magic._ She was going to learn to do _magic_ in a _castle._ Just like he had said for years. She had not doubted, not really. This was the best day of her life.

"Me neither. It's finally here. Only until September…" He spoke in a whisper, though clearly as eager as she. He did not want the librarian to be called over and overhear them talking of strange things. That would not be explainable. She followed his lead.

"The Professors are the best in their field, even if they are strict. There's History of Magic, and Charms and Potions… History of Magic sounds kind of dismal, actually, it's taught by a ghost called Binns. Charms is Professor Flitwick, I heard it's more fun, learning to do enchantments and such- And Potions is Slughorn. He's head of Slytherin. I know I'll like this one. And that's not even all of them. I left out Transfiguration, where you can change things into other things, obviously, just like it sounds. Plus Herbology, which is basically Botany. Useful for potions ingredients. "

Her eyes grew wider and wider as she listened, focused intently, all of it more and more amazing. It sounded too good to be true. It had been two years since Severus had clunked Petunia over the head with a branch, and they had made up… Honestly, she was so very sad her sister could not come with her. Lily knew that she wanted to, had even written to the Headmaster. That was the worst part. But other than that it was perfect.

There were a lot of things she would have to get used to, that was for sure. Using a wand for everything, being able to fix anything you wanted. And strange creatures. Dementors, for one. Blind phantoms that sucked out your soul? You couldn't pretend that wasn't creepy, even if all they did was guard of prison. Azkaban sounded scarier than every wizard prison he had ever told her of, incomparable to any Muggle ones, certainly.

She tried hard to reign in her focus, her mind was going in a thousand different directions. "Charms seems like it will be the most fun to me. Just to be able to cast a spell…" "I know," he breathed. Severus stood and scooped up his books and Lily followed suit. Never having had more than a Muggle education, she was hungry and starving for all her friend had to tell her.

It was going to be different, very much so.

"You said that a… a ghost teaches at Hogwarts. Are there other ghosts, too?" This was after they had walked past the clerk and into the hot, sticky summer air.

The streetlamps had not yet come on, but they were close. Severus knew his parents would be angry if he was not home soon, but they passed her house on the way.

"Sure. Mischief makers, Mum says. I'd stay clear of 'em, but they shouldn't be too bad. You'll be fine. Want me to walk you home?" "Yes." Luckily for him, she could not see him blush in the dim light. No one besides her had actually _wanted_ to be around him before, and it was an unusual feeling. The street was deserted, and the only sound to be heard was their feet pitter-pattering on the cement sidewalk.

"And you should see the Hogwarts library! None of this Muggle trash. All magical, about magical things…" She looked affronted, suddenly, and it showed plainly in her expression. He noticed this and stopped short, realizing what he had said wrong.

"Just because something is Muggle does not mean it is trash. My whole family is Muggle." She too had frozen in her tracks and was awfully offended. "I didn't mean…" "You really don't like you Dad, do you?" Nothing else would make him slip like that. How could it?

A breeze blew by and rustled her hair so that it rippled in waves around her shoulders, as if setting her head on fire. "Come on, we're almost there." "Don't change that subject. Sev, is- is everything alright at your house?" "Alright as it can be," he murmured.

Indeed they had now stopped again in front of Lily's place, and she gave him a desperate, pleading look. "I'll see ya soon, Lils." "See you, Severus."


	4. Diagon Alley

"Well, you're up early, dear."

"Of course." Lily sat at the kitchen table, tapping her foot impatiently. She had set her alarm for nine o' clock that morning, and she usually slept late during the summer. Her mother was still rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she poured a cup of tea.

"I thought Mrs. Snape was not supposed to be here until after breakfast," Mrs. Evans said, frowning at her daughter.

"She's not. I just wanted to be ready." The next few moments were stark silent, until Petunia entered, dressed in a pink plaid skirt and blue fleece shirt, and old brown loafers. "What are you doing here?" she asked nastily, not even trying to hide the grudge she felt upon seeing her sister. Her arms were immediately folded defensively across her chest. "Waiting," said Lily, not noticing or caring about the attitude. Petunia snorted.

"That Snape boy is awful, I tell you. Don't know why you'd want to be seen with the likes of him." "That's a terrible thing to say! Take it back!" Their mother looked startled to hear her talking to Lily about her friend like that. They always got along jovially.

"Now girls, stop it, the both of you." She glared at the elder. "Petunia, that was out of line. Keep your comments to yourself. Your sister has a very big day ahead of her, and could do without your rudeness. I will deal with her, Lily."

With this she rose, having given the matter a final say, and went over to the stove to begin scrambling eggs

It unnerved her, really, to see her youngest snap back like that- so unlike her. She could tell that Petunia had been trying to distance herself ever since they had found out about Lily, and her being a witch and all. They had all been flabbergasted, sure, but frankly, she had not expected _that_ reaction- a retreat. Lately it had been turning more and more to snide remarks. The frostiness was going to be replaced with fire.

Mrs. Evans placed a plate in front of the dainty green-eyed one of the two, and glanced imploringly at her other daughter. "Are you going to join us?" The one will chestnut hair shook her head, and hugged her textbook to her chest after retrieving it from the table.

"No. Unlike her I have important things to do today." "Tuney-" Disregarding her sister's pea, she stalked off. Mrs. Evans shrugged.

So that was what this was about. Petunia's ego was getting in the way; she wanted to go too but couldn't and was jealous, and probably confused as well- wondering why it was not her, what made Lily better. Well, that was plain petty.

"Ignore her, Lily. I want you to have fun today." The frown was back, and she studied the eleven-year-old intensely. The hurt was there, she could definitely tell, however buried deep. You could read her like a book. But it was soon replaced with a look of excitement, and she began to wolf down the eggs. That was more like it. "I will."

Mrs. Evans sat down to her own breakfast, and they ate in silence until the arrival of Mr. Evans. As he came in he ruffled his little girl's hair. "Hey, kiddo!" "Dad!" her false tone of exasperation did nothing; everyone who knew her knew it was really impossible for her to be exasperated with anybody. "Ready to go with Severus today?" She had been looking forward to this trip for weeks- her first real glimpse into the Wizarding world. "Don't you know it."

She had always been rather close to her father- daddy's girl, they called her, and rightly so. She shared his energetic, likeable demeanor, as well as his blazing orange hair and emerald eyes. They got on sportingly and loved spending time together. But it was her time to spend with Severus now, and they wouldn't have it any other way. Mrs. Evans was on the verge of asking if her baby was comfortable with this whole arrangement, but thought better of it, blessedly. She wanted nothing to spoil this day for her little one; it was sure to be quite the adventure.

The knock on the door seemed long in coming, and after washing her dish in the suds Lily vamoosed, bustling about here trying to untangle her fiery mess of locks with a brush no one could envy, and bustling about there lathering on sunscreen so that she did not burn as she was prone to do. She decided that her comfortable jeans wouldn't cut it, and opted instead for a daisy-print sundress. She also had a burlap bag to carry anything they might procure. The nice woman who had come to explain to the Evans about the Wizarding world had also left her with enough galleons, sickles, and knuts to buy everything she needed. She had told the lady again that her friend would explain how the strange currency actually worked; he had been so kind in that regard.

And so Lily Evans was ready when there finally was a knock on the door, and she raced downstairs as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Hi, Sev! I thought you would never come!" And she flung her arms around him. It was clear he was not expecting this, but returned her embrace nonetheless. They couldn't see it, but their mothers were blushing.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Evans." "Oh, the pleasure's mine, Mrs. Snape." The former was very kind not to gape at Eileen's unusual attire… in this case, a beaver-pelt hat and a grapey purple dress whose white buttons only went halfway down. Her shoulder-length raven hair shined gorgeously, and Severus had applauded her attempts at dressing like a Muggle (Tobias, of course, giving them nothing to go on). His own mitch-matched appearance was much more of a failure, anyway, but Lily never seemed to care.

"You'll keep my baby girl safe, I trust?" If it had been any other child they would have whined, "Mother!" and been mortified at being addressed like that, Severus knew. But Lily, the beauty with the strawberry hair, only gave one of her pearly white smiles. She was truly amazing. Eileen nodded in answer, and he had to admit he was very proud of her for making all this possible. "Ready to go?" Eileen asked. He looked at Lily for confirmation, and was startled when she took his hand. "Yes," they said together, which made their mothers chuckle. "Come along, then. I'll have her back by five," Mrs. Snape added. "Thank you!" Mrs. Evans called after them.

It might have been easier to tell the Evans to meet them at the Leaky Cauldron in London, but lily had wanted so desperately to try Floo Powder. Because Eileen and Severus lived in a Muggle neighborhood their house was not connected to the Floo Network (not that the king of the castle would allow that anyway), they had to take a bus to an old friend of Eileen's. Mrs. Snape was, naturally, the first to step into the fireplace and deposit and handful of the mysterious powder and shout at the top of her lungs, "Diagon Alley!" Severus then handed Lily a handful of the stuff. "Do it just as she did it. I'll be right behind you. But be careful to say it just right." This did the trick. "Diagon Alley!" came the yell, and the cry came for a third and final time: "Diagon Alley!"

And the boy vanished, leaving nothing behind him but more of the chalky dust in an empty grate. He reappeared in a relatively busy shop- Flourish and Botts, to be exact- and he soon spotted the two most important people in his life, one with glistening green eyes and one with eyes just like his. He made his way over to them, beaming, and once they had collected everything they need from that particular store they emerged into the open air, into a place fondly known as Diagon Alley.

It quite took Lily's breath away; Severus could tell because she grabbed his hands and squeezed hard. Soon, though, when the wonderment had faded slightly, she was pulling him into this shop or that, and it was all Eileen could do to keep up. She was going a hundred miles a minute. And the first thing she wanted to get was, of course, her wand. Ollivander's had a magnetic hold on the anxious children, one of whom had been anticipating it his whole life, and one who had waited patiently for two years, ever since she had met her best friend.

The place was deserted besides themselves- and quite eerie a place it was, too. Boxes and boxes on top of more boxes, and the boy could feel Lily gazing at them in awe. When Ollivander spoke his voice was so soft it nearly made them jump out of their skin.

"Ah, yes. I knew I'd be seeing you again soon, Mrs. Snape." With this the graying man gestured to a single chair in the center of the tight space for her to wait. Ollivander wasted no time in placing wand after wand in Severus's hand. Thirteen-inch oak with a phoenix feather core, a nine-inch, pliable maple or a ten-inch mahogany with a dragon heartstring core. None of them seemed to work.

"The wand chooses the wizard, you know. Not to fret. It is always the last one you try." And they kept trying. Finally- Severus had hardly breathed the entire time- he found one that was nine and a quarter inches long, sycamore with unicorn hair as its core. "Your turn, Lils," he conceded, giving her his new wand for her to examine before she, like him, tried countless other options. The pile on the floor grew larger and larger until she had tears in her eyes, and looked at Severus pleadingly. This made him get butterflies in his stomach. Still, they kept trying.

"Don't worry, we'll find the one for you!" Ollivander crooned, glassy yellow eyes examining her intently, almost creepily. "Ten and a quarter inches, swishy, unicorn hair core, willow. Good for Charms work." That, as it turned out, was the one that did the trick. It released several red sparks when she "gave it a wave," and her grin could not have been fuller. They paid their fourteen galleons and were bowed from the shop.

The next stop was a store which had cauldrons piled high in its windows, and each of them chose a pewter cauldron and a set of glass vials. They would stare, as they were walking to and fro that day, longingly at many lavish, exotic items in the windows that neither could afford. And despite how wonderful it was to be here with Lily, here at last, Severus could not help but worry about what would happen when they returned home that night.

"Look!" cried Lily suddenly, pointing up into the air outside of Quality Quidditch Supplies. A broom was being tested- a Cleansweep, as it were. This was the sort of thing that would seem absurd to her, Severus reasoned. Muggles only used brooms for cleaning. He almost giggled, except that Severus Snape did _not_ giggle. "That's a Quidditch store," he said knowingly, watching the customer fly in a loop that forced several other people to duck. "It's a wizard sport you play in the air, with all sorts of complicated rules and such. I'll tell you about it later if you want." "I'd like that," she admitted.

They continued on to the apothecary. After gathering the necessary potions ingredients, it was time to go to the bookstore to buy the required material. The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1, One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, and whatever was needed for Transfiguration and Herbology.

Then they found themselves eating lunch at a café outdoors, for it was a beautiful day. Lily had her very first taste of wizard candy; unfortunately for her, it was Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, and she got pickle. "Don't like them myself. I got burnt toast," he told her, noticing the sour expression on her face.

Madame Malkin's took longer than anything else, even Ollivander's, because Severus kept fidgeting while he was being fitted for his robes. Lily managed to stay still, even if she did giggle uncontrollably. "It's so nice to see him happy," Mrs. Snape mentioned absentmindedly to the nice Madame Malkin, and there was remorse dripping from her voice. "Mum," said her son, "This is just amazing. I really do appreciate all of this." The tape measure, moving of its own accord, of course, unwrapped itself from around him and he hopped down, trying to ignore the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

They left with their arms full, each almost first year with several nice sets of robes. "Ollivander said my wand was good for Charms work," Lily whispered them, as they went on. Severus shrugged, not knowing what difference it made but not able to bring himself to say more than, "Guess so." She smiled for the millionth time that day.

"Well, here we are," interrupted Eileen, bringing them to a halt. "Our last stop." "But Mum, this is…" It was Florian Fontiscue's Ice Cream Parlor. His jaw dropped. "I figured we need a break after going so hard." It had been so long since he had ice cream, and he knew his mother couldn't afford it and was splurging, but the sundae tasted so good he soon forgot these things. All of them savored it, but more than that they savored the moment. They did not even make conversation, which in itself spoke volumes.

Disappointment lingered over their heads- it was time to go home. It took a while to weave their way back through the Leaky Cauldron, and back to Muggle London. Then it was back on the bus, back in the fireplace at Mrs. Snape's friend's house. To Cokeworth, and Spinner's End. The three of them soon stood in front of a pristine white house with a neatly cut, vibrant lawn.

Mr. Evans met them on the doorstep, and squeezed his daughter so tightly she disappeared in him. "Thank you for doing this for her." "Yes, thank you so much!" She once more wrapped her arms around Severus, and whispered. "Thank you for giving me this. This day, this world. I could not be happier than I am right now." "Oh, Lily," he murmured, hugging her back. He could not be happier either, to tell the truth. "She was an absolute angel," Mrs. Snape reported. Mr. Evans beamed. "I didn't expect anything less. Come Lily-bear." "See you tomorrow, Sev."

She gave one last smile and waved as the door shut behind her, and he felt his heart flutter. He was in such an unusually good mood that he slipped his hand into his mother's as they walked the two blocks home. He was, to put it lightly, exhausted, and it was still far from dinnertime.

"You seem different lately," he said. "I know you're trying to do better. You really impressed me today. It was pretty awesome." This made her go warm inside. Maybe things could turn around. "You deserve better than me. I'm trying to give you that." "I know." There were no other noses in the stillness., not even movements from the identical-looking houses they passed. "I'm making beef buginone to soften him up."

How often in his eleven years had he strolled through this neighborhood wonder what went on inside those houses? Was there yelling or hitting or empty beer cans on the floor? Did they struggle as he did? He knew the answer was no. How happy the Evans were! What had gone wrong- what had he done? "Why do you put up with it?" "He's my husband, Severus."

The boy huffed.

"And he's my father. But I don't have to love him." He had heard it all before. They needed him, depended on him. He shook his head sadly, pondering why she would marry him in the first place. It was unreal.

"No," she said quietly, "and I don't expect you to. But you know I love you, don't you?" Well, then leave him. But she was desperate, and he loved her too. He slipped an arm around his waist. "Yes. You really proved it today." She had put him, instead of Tobias, first for once. It wasn't much but it was a step forward. He was going to Hogwarts.

"I'll distract him so you can slip in the back door with your things," she whispered, and he groaned inwardly. "Straight upstairs to your room. He never goes in your room." "I know." And they were there, what was as close to home as it got. Even though his father was not passed out on the couch like expected- Severus heard his mother greet him- he did manage to hide his belongings throughout his room, the belongings that cemented him to the world where he belonged. He was ready, at long last, to be a part of it. Only a few more months before he could leave this dump.


	5. Petunia Evans

Petunia Evans had never felt more left out than she did that day, when Lily had been subjected to special treatment just for being… ordinary. No, that was not right- not anymore. Lily was not ordinary. In fact, she was anything but. She was a witch.

A witch.

And that meant she got crooned and mollycoddled while Petunia was constantly fussed at whenever she said anything against her. And then she went off with those Snape's, of all people, for a day full of weirdness, of all things.

Well, _she_ , at least, did not need any of that nonsense. She was perfectly content bringing a magazine to the community pool so she could hang out with her _real_ friends- people whose families actually had money and could afford to live somewhere better than Spinner's End, of all the miserable places.

And they liked spending time with her as much as she like spending time with them. The first part of her day was, if she was being honest with herself (and Petunia Evans took pride in being honest with herself) very boring.

Incredibly bland, in fact, like a nasty string of plain, unbuttered pasta. She had math tutoring up at the high school. What great pride she took in her own intelligence, her advanced skill! Only in seventh grade, and going up to the high school for classes. Her arrogance was insufferable.

They detested her, her peers, but she was never any the wiser. A half hour for geometry, and then back home to change into her swimsuit. How sorely she noted Lily's absence; it was like a thorn in her side. Off with that nasty, awful Snape boy. Lord only knew what she would want to do with him, in that place…

Grumpier than she was earlier, she stalked off with her nose in the air to sit in a lounge chair and try to distract herself with articles about movie stars and find out what her friends were up to. It was sure to being interesting, and she was going to show Lily that she was not the only one who could have an exciting time.

And she was not going to listen to her sister drone on and on about how amazing and wonderful this other world was, and describe the place where she was going… It was, all in all, an extremely long afternoon. Soon every one of her acquaintances had made their excuses- going to the cinema, going to babysit- and she was forced to trudge her way back to the house.

When she checked the counter to see of the Headmaster's reply, she was surprised to find that it had, indeed, come, and had been left with the rest of the mail. She opened it somewhat savagely, and when she finished reading it she could feel her cheeks burning.

So what, she thought. So what if she was not like them. She was glad for it, push came to shove… she was normal, that was it. And let it be said that Petunia Evans liked normalcy.


	6. Too Far

Remembering the promise of beef buginone for dinner, Severus hurried down the stairs so fast her nearly tripped. The smell, oh deliciousness!, wafted through his nostrils. Upon seeing the tears running down his mother's face, however, he stopped short in the doorway.

"You had no right to do that, no right at all!" Eileen was sobbing. "I had every right, and don't you DARE tell me otherwise, _woman._ Deciding not to send dear Severus to that freak school made me realize something. I won't tolerate this nonsense anymore, about magic. All of it, it has gone on long enough in my house."

It was just then that he noticed what lay near where his mother cowered- her wand. Her wand, crushed under Tobias's spiked boot, the heel splintering it and rendering it irreparable. He knew better than to gasp, however; that would have alerted them to his presence.

It had gone too far. He had finally gone too far. He had taken away her ability to do magic, to be a witch, to be who she was. It was downright cruel, and Severus felt as if his bones were on fire, set aflame with indignation. Realizing that they were not going to have the almost-pleasant dinner he had forever dreamed of, he was about to retreat back upstairs when his father's anger apparently got the better of him. Again.

His mother had been inching backward during her husband's rant, anticipating the hard slap. She did not anticipate (and perhaps should have, he considered later) being knocked against the counter so she blacked out.

It was then, then that Tobias laid on his son twenty hard swats with his leather army belt, each one stinging worse than the last, piercing, until they broke the skin and the blood started flowing. Severus could not stand it, he screamed like he was being murdered, and his father gave a nasty smile of grim satisfaction. He was going to be sure that it scarred this time. "You understand, boy? Do you understand? I have had it up to here with magic!" The answer did not come fast enough and the whacks became harder, so sharp the boy kept whimpering, not yet numb to the pain. "Yes, sir, " he managed to mumble. "Good! No more magic, no more! That will teach you, scum!"

And he did deserve all of this. He, for once, was as equally to blame as his mother. She had risked incurring his wrath just to get him his wand and school supplies, and what had happened? Hers had been demolished and reduced to dust. It was all his fault. If only he had not been born magical, then they never would have gone to Diagon Alley today, and Tobias would never have gotten so mad. Normally he knew better. He could not help being born magical, after all (and who would want to be a Muggle?) But he had gotten so angry at her the last time and encouraged her to do this to try to make it up to him. Well, they had both paid the price for it.


	7. Lily

It was yet another hot and sticky July day, and a little girl with wavy, fiery locks ran top speed to the clearing that was the hideout she shared with her best friend. She had her new school textbooks with her, anxious to pour over them and have her first taste of magical literature, to have anything that confused her deciphered by the first magical person she had ever met.

She frowned, knowing that Sev was just as eager as she and that he should certainly be here. Where was he? Lily hoped that something at home had not hindered him. He had to deal with a lot. She blew a fiery curl from in front of her face, impatient but also sure he would have come if nothing had gotten in his way. Should she be worried?

Without knowing why, she did not wait more than fifteen minutes without a nagging, drooping sensation in the pit of her stomach that led her to the place where they had first met. Like then, the playground and the swings were deserted, and she pushed back and forth with her feet sinking retreating deeper into her thoughts. Where was he? She asked herself again, finding herself jumping up and heading down Spinner's End to find where he lived.

Was he made at her for some reason? If so, what had she done? He would not just leave her at their meeting spot. It was definitely shadier here than in other parts of town, despite the smoggy sunniness of the summer. Glancing skyward, she glimpsed a lightning-fast flash of greasy black hair in one of the upstairs windows.

Sev.

It was enough. If his dad was really as scary as he gave her the impression of being (why else would her gentle friend despise Petunia simply for being a Muggle unless he hated the Muggle he lived with and saw more than any other? It was the only thing that made since), she did not want to see Mr. Snape if she didn't have to.

Fortunately for her their run-down house was at the end of the street and was next to a sturdy oak, and the window was open. She was quite a nimble climber, having done this often enough in childhood, and reached to top in no time. It was apparent that Severus was quite startled when she touched down on the floor of his room.

"Lily, what are you doing in here?" He was unusually pale, and the room was strikingly bare. There was no desk but piles and piles of books all over the place like sagging mountains. There was a nightstand with hardly anything on it. There was a single shaggy carpet which obviously had not been vacuumed in ages. Severus looked at her, aghast.

"I just wanted to know where you were when you didn't show…" his heart was obviously pounding a million miles a second. Was he angry, after all? "What did I do" "Get out, Lily! Get out right now!" He had never yelled at her before. Not Lily. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

"Severus, what's going on?" "Lily, don't you know how to listen? I'm serious! My father…" His voice trailed off and a shout flew up the stairs. "Boy, what is all that infernal noise up there ? _BE QUIET AND STAY PUT_!" He looked very panicked and she did not wait to be asked again.

She stayed a good long while nestled in the branch of the tree, listening ot the quiet- until it was not quiet anymore. There was the sound of something hard coming down against something else= Severus wheezed in and out and she could tell he was trying hard not to scream. She cringed.

There was nothing she could do, she knew it, oh, she knew it, but it took every ounce of her restraint. She would only get him in more trouble, and how could she do that? There had to be something. But Mr. Snape was completely insane, and there was nothing. Her mind was racing, going in a thousand different directions. And then it ended, just as suddenly as it started. She felt sickened with herself.

And then there came a whisper. A very faint, hoarse whisper. "Go, Lily." Tears now streamed down her face, making her cheeks glisten. She scurried and ran as if for her life, disgust filling her. It was not only disgust for the entire situation but for herself and her inaction.

She made it home in record time, faster than she ever had. How could she not have known? How could she have been so blind? Deep, deep down inside of her, she had always known. She hated herself now. She came home gasping, panting, and wailing. "Mother! Mother!" She clung to her mother's skirts, desperate to get her to understand, howling, "They beat him! We have to-" She could not finish for weeping, uncontrollable, unable to get a hold on herself. She was innocent and nothing had ever hurt her, not like this. This had burned her.

"We have to help!" she gulped. "Shh…Shh, honey. Please calm down. Compose yourself and speak clearly so that you can tell me what is the matter. Mrs. Evans scooped Lily into a hug, and the girl sniffled into her breast. "Severus! His father is a monster!" "You said they beat him?" She nodded, still buried in her mother's dress. They had to do something about this- the question was what.

Lily related how her friend shied away from any mention of his parents of personal life, even grew a bit pale. "I should have said something earlier." "You could not have known," Mrs. Evans reassured her. She at last got the preteen to calm down enough to sit down at the kitchen table so that they could formulate a plan of action.

Calling social services seemed automatic but for the fact that he was a wizard and Lily knew that Mrs. Snape was not in any way involved. Severus loved his mother and would never forgive her if she ended up in- Lily gave a shudder- Azkaban Prison. "He told me about it, it sounds like the worst sort of place imaginable. Eileen Snape is a nice lady and doesn't deserve to go there. It's a place for only the darkest wizards." "And Mr. Snape is a Muggle," Mrs. Evans breathed, knowing enough about this strange magical world to go get what her little girl was hinting at. She'd talked about it nonstop (much to Petunia's dismay) and there had been that very long discussion with the woman who had delivered the letter on the darling's eleventh birthday.

"So only Muggles need be involved in all of this. People like me- no need to inform Hogwarts at all. My dear, are you sure that is the right thing to do?" Lily shrugged. Honestly, she wasn't so sure of anything anymore. She still choked back sobs, which did not go unnoticed. "I… I don't know," she admitted, rubbing her puffy cheeks with the sleeve of her grey dress. This situation was so serious she was not even admonished for it like she normally would have been. "This is all so surreal it feels like a bad dream. This stuff is supposed to happen in books and movies, not in real life! And certainly not to my best friend!" "Lily, you are not responsible for his welfare. Let that be understood. You did the mature, adult thing by coming straight to me. I am so, so proud of how you handled all of this."

"That's my whole problem! I don't know how to handle any of this, Mom!" She was frantic, and had never felt so very, very alone as she did now. It did not quite register yet that she was not. "I know." It was a whisper. "That was my point, you don't have to. But do you truly believe with all that is in you that Severus needs to be out of that house tonight? That he is not safe there.?" "I heard him screaming," she sniffled again, recalling it.

It was like ice in her blood and fire in her bones. She made a vile face that plainly expressed her disgust, and her mother nodded as if she knew she was imagining this. "Bring him here to stay until we can work something out, then." "I can't. He'll never go for that. I am positive he just won't. And his dad won't even let him out of the house." Mrs. Evans gave a sigh of deep exasperation. She waited for the girl to continue.

"He-he only got in trouble because of me today! I was trying to find him when he didn't come… his father would have hurt me too, that's why he yelled at me to get out." "Hush, child. We will put a stop to this. I promise you." "Maybe- maybe the folks at Hogwarts would better know how to deal with a case like this. But he would really hate me for dragging them into it." "One day, he will understand, my sweet. For now, I will write the Headmaster as your sister did. Then we must wait."

Lily still continued to feel infinitely bad.


	8. Severus

"Sev!"

She was back at the clearing two days later, running desperately as if trying to catch him. No sign all of yesterday… she had hardly spoken to anyone and been so moody that she's actually given Petunia an earful of it. And there he was.

"Sev!"

She ran faster, though it was clear by now that he was not going to move from hi perch on a rather large rock. It was yet another mockingly sunny day, and her face was flushed; she was sweating. He bolted up upon seeing her, as if he did not quite know what to do.

"I'm so sorry for the other day…" "Sev, you have nothing to apologize for. In fact, I'm the one who should be sorry." Of all things, he had least been expecting that. This made no sense. He was flustered, and brushed a strand of long black hair away from his face. "Merlin, what-" "I mean it. I really do."

"Don't- don't feel sorry for me, Lily. It was my own fault." She gasped. "Please, please do not say that! Please don't ever say that, that's horrible!" But Merlin, it was true, wasn't it? He deserved it, at least that time… had always… And why was she so worried about it? No one was ever worried about him like that, not even- it pained him to think it- his own mother.

"It doesn't matter," he said, because it didn't, and it was better this way. Better if he could take care of himself, better if no one knew. "Of course it matters," she countered, ever stubborn, trying desperately not to cry. She did not and could never understand the denial, why he so desperately tried to hide. Why he did not want any help when it was so obvious he needed it. She wanted him to open up, confide in her, but she knew it wasn't going to be easy. It had set in too deep; for far too long he had had to endure this.

Did he know anything else? Such thoughts made Lily's stomach clench. She was in over her head and had to take a deep breath just to slow herself down. Going too fast would scare him, push him away, and this must end. Now.

"It matters because you matter. You matter to me, Sev. Don't you have any idea how special you are?" "You don't mean that, Lily, you're just being nice. Everyone is special to you." Her brow furrowed in confusion, she brushed a runaway strand of hair away from her face. She knew she must choose her next words very carefully, but still had a sinking feeling she was going to get them wrong.

"Nobody else is my best friend," she stated firmly, leaving no room for argument, and she did not miss the way his expression lit up at this. It simultaneously pleased and displeased her. Other than his mother, had anyone told him they cared about him, that he mattered? Again filled with an inexpressible sadness, a widening hole in her middle, she frowned and took the vacant space on the rock he had just vacated, head in her hands.

"He finally let you out of the house." She was determined not to let him get away from it. He was going to talk about it, because that was the only way anything was getting fixed. Severus huffed, and then he shrugged. "Not like he cares what happens to me. Lily-" "You do know it's wrong, the way he treats you." Her breathing got very heavy then. Despite his eagerness to avoid the conversation, she was clearly not going to let the issue drop, and so he simply gave up and sat criss-cross applesauce beside her.

"When I was little, I used to go to my grandmother's all the time. It was the one place I could so of be myself. She showed me all kinds of cool magic, said I would grow up to be a great wizard. That was when I figured out I would never be able to change it, because it wasn't me. He only really gets upset after I do accidental magic, anyway, and you know all about that. I couldn't help it. It wasn't my fault he hates magic, or me. That's just how he is. My mother says so all the time. His problem, not mine. I'll never be able to explain it. I won't ever get why my mother married such a low-life, either."

HIs voice died off in the breeze but something lingered, piercing and pungent and melancholy. The next question came before she could stop it.

"Why don't you go to your grandmother's anymore?" "She died when I was nine, right before I met you." How to respond to that? To a grieving boy who had everything taken away from him yet refused to be pitied or accept help? This was all so confusing.

"I'm- I'm sorry. Not that it means much." the silence was so much worse than the stifling heat, only their thoughts filled it, and they were not pleasant. "My Mum said it's okay for you to sleep at my house tonight." "I'll be fine, Lily. You don't have to try and help me." "What if I want to?" she spat defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest to sho

"Don't try and pretend you don't need help, Severus! I hate seeing you go through this. I won't

Take no for an answer. What kind of friend would I be if I just let you suffer? Please just let me be a good friend." What an odd way to put it, Severus mused. Did being a good friend mean dragging out the most jagged, broken parts of you, making yo talk about things better left unsaid? She was trying to heal him, but still. He had sailed stormier seas. As amazing as it was to have her as a friend, this was too big a leap.

"No, I can't, my Mom-"

That was all he needed to say. Despite it all, he could not leave his mother alone. Lily understood this. They talked for a while, but the lump never left her throat until long after they parted.


	9. The Sorting

It was raining.

Summer had faded away and with it the pristine weather; the first day of September was gray, dismal, and on top of it, wet. This was especially unfortunate for the first years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, who travelled to the castle by boat rather than thestral-drawn carriage.

"Why were you worried?" Severus asked, afraid at the same time that she was going to say that she wasn't. They sat huddled together under Lily's rain slicker (which she had draped over him without a single word when it first started to sprinkle). She was normally energetic, but was close to tears as she had greeted him at the train station. And that was not right.

"I didn't see you at all last month." She gave a sad little sigh, flaming orange hair plastered against her pale cheek. Nothing could dampen her mood, but Severus looked pretty grumpy at being soaked- especially because his robes were brand new, and he had no covering like she did. It was these little kindnesses that endeared her so to him.

This was, he was certain, an admonishment, and he could not meet her gaze. "I know. I'm sorry. I was… busy." The other three children in the boat were engaged in other conversations and so did not notice him blush. He'd gotten used to her being, for lack of a better term, concerned, and he'd seen her get upset, but never had she gotten upset because she was concerned.

Not even his own mother did that.

"Getting ready, I'm sure." There was ice in her voice. She would not look at him, either.

"I'm sorry, Lily. Look, we're going to Hogwarts now, okay? Try not to worry about anything."

"I worry about you. What happens at the end of the year? He didn't want you to come. You're just going to go back there?" "Drop it, okay, and stop trying to get me to talk about it, because I won't."

There. If he needed to get firm he would. What was she trying to accomplish here, anyway? She didn't answer him, and neither spoke until Hogwarts came into view. Unconsciously she sucked in her breath, unable to do anything else. "It's amazing, isn't it?" Severus breathed also. Lily forgot with all his talk that he had never actually been here, and she squeezed his hand rather tightly. And that was how they entered the school. Together.

"It is," she said, her reaction delayed, she was so subdued. The Entrance Hall was rather brightly lit, swooping stone ceiling worsening the butterflies in the student's tummies.

"Welcome," said a grandmotherly voice, breaking them from their reverie. There stood a tall woman in crisp emerald robes, cat-like glasses and a pointed black hat. "Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor McGonagall. In a moment you will pass through these doors and be Sorted. There are four Houses, any of which you may be Sorted into- Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin, named for the four founders. During your time here your House will be like your family. Points will be awarded for exemplary behavior, and taken for poor behavior. I expect you will make us proud."

As she finished with this little speech the gigantic double doors behind her swung open, and in they went, two by two. It was as murky and stormy in here as outside- or so a quick glance upward made it seem. "Charmed to look like the sky," Severus muttered absentmindedly to Lily, who could do no more than nod for gaping. A few seconds later a musky old brown hat made it appearance and the Sorting Ceremony officially began. Those two hooligans they met on the Hogwarts Express- James Potter and Sirius Black- were instantly put into Gryffindor, along with a skinny-looking boy called Pettigrew and a very timid looking fellow by the name of Remus Lupin. She was so caught up in it, the whole thing, and then-

"Evans, Lily!"

She gave his hand a final squeeze and flashed a shy smile, and took heavy, heavy steps to the front of the crowd. The nervous feeling in her stomach only intensified as she hoisted herself on the the worn stool; she reminded herself to find Severus in the sea of faces so she didn't have to look at anybody else. The smile he had only seconds ago had vanished to be replaced by a look of anxious anticipation. Did it make any difference? Why-

But the Sorting Hat was coming down on her head, and-

"Gryffindor!" It certainly did not waste any time. Stressing, she gave her friend a sad smile before making her way over to the Gryffindor table, where Potter seemed to have made friends with Lupin. Black clapped her on the back and she stealthily ignored him. Then she waited. And waited. Until.

"Snape, Severus." Again there was no hesitation, but the decision was made in an instant. "Slytherin!" came the cry. Okay, he had expected that. She wondered if it would matter later, than they were in different Houses, just like she had wondered about being Muggle-born.

He had said it would not make any difference….

Soon, though, she was distracted by the grand feast which magically appeared in front of her. Mashed potatoes and gravy, jello, pudding in three separate flavors, a leafy salad which almost everyone ignored (except Lily, because she knew the value of such things). It seemed never ending; whenever she was done more kept coming! FInger sandwiches and something called pumpkin juice which she came close to spitting out of her napkin.

She was feeling so very sleepy at the end of it all that it did not take her long to fall asleep, thinking how very amazing magic was.


	10. Breakfast

That night was one of the best Severus had in a long time- this place was every bit as amazing as he dreamed it was, and the bed with its green and silver drapings was ten times more comfortable than his bed at home. He didn't even mind being in the dungeon because the lavish, ornate furnishings more than made up for that, and when winter came the huge grate in the Common Room would have a roaring fire.

Of course there was the matter of his privacy. He hated sharing a room with four other people, but was quickly learning that if he scowled fiercely enough they left him alone. Most of them seemed nice enough, it was true, especially the Prefect Lucius Malfoy, who had welcomed them all quite warmly. He just liked to keep to himself, that was all.

And so after a restful sleep and a shower (which did nothing for his greasy hair, try as he might) Severus made his way down to the Great Hall. To his delight Lily, a bubbly fountain of joy, was soon by his side. "Morning, Sev," she said softly, and her smile was soft too- this was a relief. He'd gotten the impression after her Sorting that she was somewhat agitated.

"I don't think Slytherins are going to like it very much if you sit at our table." Indeed she had followed him all the way in and taken a seat beside him. "Maybe they won't notice." It was true that most people didn't notice Severus, but Lily was a different matter… a little surprised she was bending the rules for him, he could do no more than nod blankly.

"Does it matter, truly, that we're in different Houses?"

Here Severus gave a long, drawn-out sigh. Both ignored the food now piling up before them. "Not really. Only if we let it," he whispered. Not looking at her still, he began serving himself: hot, fluffy golden waffles, as much as he wanted. Fruit of all kinds- cantaloupe, melon, dewberries, strawberries, raspberries, banana… And toast with scrambled eggs, of course, and pumpkin juice. They were eating like Kings.

"I've never seen so much food in all my life." This was well enough true. "Don't change the subject. You wanted me to be in Slytherin." She sounded icy; he gulped.

"Only cause I knew I'd be. All my Mum's family is, okay? That's all."

"But why do Gryffindor and Slytherin hate each other in the first place? I mean, a little school rivalry is good, but I heard the way you talked on the train. It's way worse than that." "Because they think they're better than everyone else, always have to be best at everything." "I am not like that, Severus."

Around them forks clinked, but the silence between them was stony. He had made yet another jab in the wrong place.

"No, you're not." As the time seemed to drag Lily flipped a flatly combed lock of vibrant hair behind her shoulder, and began eating a sparing amount of luscious wet dewberry. Her hair was held in place by a plain brown headband the same color as her oxfords, but even with the drabness of the uniform she was a whirl of color all over. Part of him wished she would smile again so he could see her dimples.

"But you saw them. Potter and his cronies." "There are bullies in every House. I don't like them either. But that doesn't mean that House is bad." "I don't have to like it, do I? Don't be ridiculous. We're still going to be friends. Best friends."

She took a few deep breaths. Honestly, he was being shallow. But his mother had conditioned him this way; she couldn't hold it against him. Maybe he would come around.

"Promise me," she said slowly. "Promise me we won't keep secrets from each other." "I promise, Lily. Honestly, what would I have to hide from you? Girls can be so silly." All things considered, this did make her feel better. It wasn't that she thought he had things to hide so much as him being able to confide in her. She knew how important that was.

Just then there came a great whooshing overhead, as owl after owl swarmed in, dropping packages, parcels and letters in front of their respective owners. Severus found that Lily's jaw had literally dropped and so he gave her a quick nudge. "Mail," he explained stiffly. She nodded. Things just kept getting more and more exciting.

"Hey!"

None other than Michael Mulciber stood behind them, pointing his chubby finger at the redhead. "You're a Gryffindor, ain't you, scamp?" "Don't call her scamp," Severus said hotly, eyes not lifting from his plate as if he suddenly found it fascinating. A chorus of laughter went up around the table, as well as a steady round of "Ohhhs" which increased the snickers.

"Looks like Sevvie's got himself a girlfriend. No Griffins at our table, hon."

"Come on, Evans."

And there was Potter. Absolutely fabulous. Could the day get any better? Boy, he must have thought he was something else, the way he rubbed his hands through his hair and pushed his glasses further up on his nose. God, how hideous he was.

Lily stood, because he had no choice, and shot Potter a death glare that did not go unmissed. As they walked away he attempted to put his arm around her but she swatted his hand away. At this Mulciber burst into fresh peals of laughter and retook his seat, ignoring a very, very glum looking Severus Snape.

Not feeling very hungry all of a sudden, he too rose and made his way back up to the dormitories. As he went he could not bring himself to glance over at the Gryffindor table; his pride was too hurt. _And it's not like there was any mail for him anyway._ Even though he'd already read most of his books, he began them again.


	11. Potions

"Anyway, I was going to tell you that I won't let it."

He had brooded and pouted for an hour, preparing for their first class of the year- the Gryffindor-Slytherin Potions class. Lily caught up with him as he strolled down the dungeon's corridors. At his confused look she elaborated. "Let it come between us."

Textbooks in hand, they entered, to be greeted by a very ecstatic Head of Slytherin House. "Morning, morning," Slughorn boomed.

It was an airy, murky room with eerie things in jars on shelves. The Professor himself looked nice enough, though, the grandfatherly sort who wore all beige except for his red cap. This had looked the most interesting, out of everything on their schedules. It was sure to be easy, too.

"Please take your seats." Not waiting for an invitation, Lily grabbed her best friend's wrists and guided him to an empty countertop. Both of them settled in their stools, and there was much rustling as students took out paper for notes.

Slughorn dived right in to the lecture, about how potions was not mere chemistry but a delicate art which only the most astute of minds could unfold. He stressed perfection and accuracy, and the importance of focus. Severus relaxed- _that_ he could do!

"To make a potion correctly, you must begin correctly- with the right ingredients. But this is also very dangerous. You must know how each ingredient reacts with every other, or your results will indeed be disastrous. For example, when mixing acromantula venom with fluxweed, you must…" "You can't mix acromantula venom with fluxweed," Severus interrupted rather sullenly, as the answer came to him. It was so obvious.

"And why would that be?" Slughorn asked, more curious than irritated. Despite this, the shy raven-haired little boy gulped. "Because fluxweed would cancel out the venomous properties of the acromantula _venom,_ therefore rendering it incoherent in the potion. If you want to make a cure for frostbite, use wormwood instead. Not that fluxweed is completely useless. Just look a Polyjuice Potion."

The room could have been under a Stunning Charm, or Petrificus Totalus. Not only had he proven the teacher wrong, he had corrected the mistake, and all with no effort- and on the first day. Everyone gawked as if he were some kind of genius (it was way above their heads), and James Potter muttered "nerd" loud enough to get a few giggles. Slughorn was occupied for a few moments searching through old, old textbook, on the chemical properties of everyday ingredients and their uses in potions. When he spoke, Severus half expected to be scolded for talking out of turn.

But it was only, "You are correct. Twenty points to Slytherin." Twenty! Twenty! Lily was beaming at him, and he was floating on a cloud. "As I was saying," the Potions Master continued, "Today we are brewing a little something known as Swelling Solution. Mr. Snape has just so kindly proven that even the masters need to take a bit of their own advice every once in a while! Now, be sure to follow the directions very carefully…"

The solution was supposed to turn ice blue after adding the frog brains, but most of them were only a nasty shade of grey. "They didn't add in enough baseroot," Severus explained to Lily, whose cauldron mirrored his. Perfect- it was at just the right temperature to get it bubbling good but not too hot so that it boiled over.

But that did not last long.

Something made a sploosh! in the dense liquid and they were just in time to see the retreating form of James bloody Potter, but not fast enough to do anything more. "Hey!" Lily yelled, as her friend swore under his breath and began adding more minced clover. As fast as he poured it in Lily minced, and neither spoke. "It's a base, it should counteract the acidity of…"

But they were too late. The explosion was so loud several people shrieked and jumped back, Lily included. This left a fuming 'Mr. Snape' with a purplish-blue blotch on his brand new robe and steam issuing from his now even greasier midnight black head. His fists were clenched. "Well, well, it seems book smarts don't equate to one's skill. Let this be a lesson to you all. It is unfortunate, my boy, you had such potential. Please stay after class to get this cleaned up."

"And how unfair was that? Slughorn must be completely blind!" huffed Lily as they made their way upstairs to Transfiguration. She had already patted down his rat's nest and gotten it to calm down somewhat, but he was still going to have to change. Of course it had to happen just before the bell rang, though it was probably planned that way.

"At least I didn't get a detention." "Why does Potter have to be such a prat? Uggh, it makes me so mad I could spit." It was unusual, having someone get angry on his behalf. He thought he could get used to it. But other than that school had gotten off to an awful start. Nobody else managed to embarrass themselves as much as he did. And he had the help of those clowns…

"He just likes seeing people miserable, that's all. It makes him feel better about himself." "Well, to me he will never be more than spoiled little troublemaker and an instigator." He was glad, in truth, to hear her take this view on things. There was little chance of her making friends with any Gryffindors at this rate, and maybe then, just maybe, there was less of a chance she'd forget about him.


	12. Dumbledore

"Thank you so much for coming to my office, Miss Evans. Quite an important matter, I assure you. Lemon drop?" "Err… No thank you, Professor Dumbledore, sir."

The old man smiled gaily at her from his desk as she took in her surroundings, wide-eyed; from Fawkes the Phoenix on his perch, beautiful bird that he was, to the humongous bookcases circling the oval room, to the metallic gadgets everywhere. It certainly suited the eccentric Headmaster. She had been surprised, to say the least, to receive the slip of paper informing her of this visit (as well as the password to the spiral staircase, naturally).

"Please have a seat." She did so. She wasn't scared so much as worried about getting bad news, but Dumbledore himself was only intimidating when he wanted to be. "You recall, no doubt, the nature of the letter your mother addressed to me last summer?" Lily nodded- there was not much else she could do. This seemed to please Dumbledore.

"Then it pleases me to no end to inform you that Tobias Snape, Severus's father, has been arrested, without the involvement of the Ministry of Magic. A good job by the Muggle police, I assure you."

Two flaming red eyebrows rose in alarm.

"Arrested?" "Yes, most certainly, my dear. He was a bit too physical with Mrs. Snape, and a bit too loud. The neighbors were the ones who called the cops." "Mrs. Snape! Is she alright? Oh, please tell me…"

Here Dumbledore held up a wrinkled, weathered hand to silence her, but nothing changed in his demeanor or his countenance; indeed, he was smiling still. It must be alright, then, she reasoned in her head.

"Perfectly fine and completely unharmed. She is currently residing in Prince Manor. It has been in her family for three generations. Come the Christmas holidays, her son will join her there. She is quite anxious to see him." "I imagine so. He will be anxious to see her as well. Does he actually know about this? Because he should know about this, if you're telling me."

"How very noble. Not yet, but he will know soon enough. I wanted to thank you for your personal involvement- you saw something very wrong with your friend's situation and spoke up for what was right. I am very proud of you. We need more students like that here."

Praise straight from the mouth of the Headmaster of Hogwarts was a rare thing indeed, and though Lily knew that she had done the right thing, only now did all the insecurities and doubts fade away. Instead of tearing Severus' life apart she had pulled it just a little closer together. And it felt very good.

"Thank you, sir. So Severus… he's going to be alright?" She brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, revealing her dusting of freckles. Her emerald eyes glistened dimly. "I think so, Miss Evans. In large part thanks to you. Now he may not be happy about this, and he may not understand. But it is for the best. I will inform him of recent happenings if you do not wish to." She shook her head, confused about what he meant when he said Severus wouldn't like it but too exhausted to ask about it. "Then I do hope you have a good night, Lily. Sleep well."


	13. A Good Thing

"No, this is supposed to be a good thing, right?"

She was almost out of breath. It was warm for October, and she was clad in a stiffly starched twead skirt and a button-down with the sleeves rolled up, and ballet flats. Her hair was held in a bun by her mother's purple scrunchie. He was not listening, however, and pushed right past her. It was a Saturday, no classes, and he was wearing slacks and a gray wool sweater. He obviously had not touched his hair.

"Severus!"

But he was too far ahead. They were starting to attract attention in the crowded hallway, and he was heading to the Entrance Hall and through the castle doors… He settled at the base of an old oak tree, mistakenly believing that it was sufficient to hide him from a best friend intent on finding him. She stalked down, definitely panting now.

"Sev, come on. Stop giving me the silent treatment. I didn't do anything." No response. Sirius Black spotted them from across the grounds and shot her a look. She knew it was time to move on. "Look, I'm confused. Enlighten me. Didn't he get what he deserved?" Still he said nothing. Nothing worked, he'd been mute all day and seemed to be avoiding her. So she did the only thing she could. She plopped down next to him.

"I think Potter and his gang are coming this way."

So even _that_ did not work. He must have been sick. Where was the Severus she knew and loved? Gently, she took one of his hands that lay limp by his side and pressed it in her palm. "Don't do this to me. I don't understand." "You wouldn't understand, Lily."

She gasped in spite of herself, even though he refused to meet her gaze. This was a step, albeit a small one. "What wouldn't I understand?" She could not keep the hurt from her voice. They had fought before, sure, but not like this. Not where she was so utterly convinced she did something wrong. It made her feel gross and awful.

"It's my _mother_ ," he spat, in case she didn't know. "She wasn't supposed to get hurt." "And you were?" "Better me than her." "I am not going to argue with that insane logic. The point is, he can not hurt anyone anymore. Shouldn't you be glad about that?"

He did not say anything for a few moments, and she was deathly afraid he had holed himself up again inside his turtle shell. Even though he'd never admit it, she could tell that he had been crying.

This was supposed to be a day of fun and relaxation, in which she lured him to the library to play chess. Not… whatever this was.

"You don't get it. _She_ certainly won't be glad. My mother is a laundress. A laundress. They don't make a lot of money. He made most of our income doing odd jobs and such, like construction, even if he blew it all on alcohol- she can't pay the bills herself. How are we going got get groceries? Don't you get it? It does not even matter that we have a place to stay. And I don't want to live off my relatives forever."

Both of them got lost in their thoughts then, trapped in a world from which there was no escape. The pristine day encased them as if in a snow-globe; it seemed in that instant as if it were all fake. She had not let go of his hand, but just then he pulled it away. "Eleven year olds should not have to think about these things," she conceded.

"Maybe…maybe it's best if we stopped hanging out. You're right, you should not have to deal with this. All I bring is pain to everything I touch." "Severus Snape, how dare you! You can't keep me away from you, I…" "Stay away from me, Lily. If you know what's good for you."

He had just finished with this sentiment when a shout came from behind them.

"Titillare!"

Severus screamed as the Tickling Jinx hit him, right before he started laughing, and James Potter stood there with a rather stupid grin on his face. Sirius and Pettigrew were with him, of course, because he could not do anything for himself. Lily jumped up, which only made them laugh harder. She pointed her wand at Potter-

"Oh, lay off, Evans. I'm just tickling him." "Stop it!" "Expelliarmus!" And she was disarmed just like that. "Accio Lily Evan's wand!" And now Potter aimed his own wand back at Snape, who was now writhing on the ground unable to control himself, clutching his side (which was most probably in stitches).

"Vermacarnius."

He stopped moving, as if someone had pushed the pause button…except Severus felt like his stomach was upset of a sudden, and all of a sudden his breakfast started coming back up. Only it wasn't his breakfast- but worms. Ten on them. Twenty of them. Now other students meandering about the lake were laughing too, and Potter was nearly doubled over. This was fortunate for Lily, though, who was able to grab her wand back and cast "Finite Incantatem."

Hands on her hips, she turned her wrath on James.

"Where in the world did you learn such spells." He merely rolled his eyes at her. "None of your business, is it?" "It is so. You took my wand. Give me one reason why I shouldn't report you." Here they broke into fresh peals of laughter. "Standing up for Snivellus, eh, Evans?" "Don't call him that." "Why do you even bother with him?"

Here she gave Severus an incredibly injured look and snifled. She was not sure of anything anymore, not like she used to be. " I don't. Not anymore." And that made Pettigrew get a wild, hideous look on his face, and he, Potter and Black all cooed "Ohhhey" at the same time. Black even elbowed Potter, but she was already much too fare gone to care one wit anymore. Not now.


	14. Never Cared

Nothing, nothing compared to how confused Severus felt after that afternoon. He had only been worried about his mother- how was he supposed to have any idea Lily would get hurt like that? And he hated the fact that he needed her help, too, could not even defend himself against stupid Potter. _He'd_ had his wand, for Merlin's sake! Why hadn't he used it? What a wimp he was. But it only enforced the decision he had made. She deserved better than him, and he would only scar her worse later on. He closed his eyes.

He was spread out on his bed trying to study, but it wasn't working. Charms was not his strong point as it was, but now… "Might help if you turned on the light, mate," came the voice of Michael Mulciber, and he inwardly groaned. Though his often over-aggressive dorm mate had mellowed out with his teasing since the first day, he wasn't exactly the kind of person you wanted around in these situations.

"Leave me alone." "You're not pouting, are you?" Mulciber was frowning, as if he didn't approve of such a thing, and Severus turned his back on him as the light came on. "Yes. Now leave me alone." "Not a chance. I heard about your little squall with that bell- Lily, isn't that right? I know all about it."

No movement came from the bed.

"She's better off without me. Go away and stop pretending to care." Their other roommates were off enjoying the carefree weekend, and the silence and quite of the cool dormitory had been blessed while it lasted. "I see how attached you two are, the way you look at her. You fancy her." This was an attempt at a jab, and a good one. Everyone knew Lily was his sore spot.

"Shut up, Mulciber. I do not." "Yeah? Then why are you hiding in here pretending to study?"

Now, now Severus was hot, so much so that his cheeks burned red, but he would never let anyone- Lily being the obvious exception- know that it had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with his mother. The real reason brought him too much shame.

"I am not pretending. Flitwick is giving a quiz next class." "Don't like to me, Snape. You're obsessed with a puny little Gryffindor. How pathetic is that? You know what; it's a good thing you broke up with your precious girlfriend. Her better off without you- you're better off without her. Grow up and get over yourself." That, that hurt worse than anything else had, like a stab. Mulciber could not know anything and had just proved it.

He could never know how much he missed her, or how often he thought about her. "Isn't it almost time for dinner?" he heard himself asking, though he didn't know why. He had a constant stomachache from reminding himself that this was for Lily's own good. "Yeah, it is. Guess I'll see down there. And I'll tell you, I'm glad you stopped caring about her." "I never cared."

Mulciber left, smirking... it was all hollow…


	15. An Accident

"That wasn't the worst part of it, Mary. He feels like he can't be around me, like he actually can't be around me. What's with that?" They turned a corner, both girls clutching books to their chests. Next to Severus, Mary Macdonald and Alice, another of their roommates, where her closest friends. She always came to them for girly things, and for advice. Not they were headed to Herbology.

"I don't know. But there's something very wrong for sure. I always thought he really like you a lot and then… Well, I still say he fancies you. The Slytherin boys say he's in a sore spot."

Lily literally stopped in her tracks. Alice nearly collided with her and gave her a look, but she didn't notice. It was as if all of the pieces fell into place. "Sev… fancies me?" "Sure, you can't tell me you haven't noticed. Whatever this is it has nothing to do with you. But hurry up, we'll be late for Herbology with the Hufflepuffs," Alice chided.

But Herbology was now the last thing on Lily's mind. She hoped her friend would come around so she could find another way to help him (whether or not he wanted it was irrelevant) and so, believe it or not, she was not looking where she was going, and crashed directly into someone.

All of their books went cascading to the floor, and Lily immediately bent to pick them up. "I am so sorry, I've been so clumsy lately…" It was just then she realized whose hand it was that brushed against hers, and if Mary had not made that comment and Alice had not agreed with her, she would have left, her pride was so injured. As it was, the other girls were nowhere in sight, and she could not stop herself from grinning wildly.

"Lately?" Severus asked, though he did not look her in the eyes. There was a hint of amusement in his voice. He stood, books in hands, and offered her a free hand to help her up. She took it, but instead of breaking away embraced him fiercely, which was a little awkward since his arms were full. He didn't shy away, though. "It's good to see you," he whispered. "You know you've been totally ridiculous." It had only been nine days, but it felt like forever, as both thought they were never going to see the other again. A strand of stringy black hair ell in his face, and she brushed it away. The gesture was small but it made him flinch and she noticed this. "It's just that everyone close to me ends up the worse for it." "I haven't ended up the worse for it, nor will I. Please top this. Where's the Severus I met that day at the park? Who embraced me?" "Right here."

With that he laid down the books and hugged her again, which she returned full-force. This was not something the socially inept Severus Snape would ever do, and so Lily knew that what her friends had told her must have been true. "Just come to the Quidditch game with me." "Just one game."


	16. Quidditch

The day of the first Quidditch match of the year dawned bright and cold. It was to take place between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and the fans were definitely eager. "It doesn't matter who wins," Lily was saying, as she and her best friend made their way to the stands. It was quite reminiscent of a football field, the pitch, and this put her a little more at ease. "What are you saying? Of course it matters who wins." She gave him a blank look. "House points, remember?"

She rolled her eyes, and flipped a long braid behind her shoulder. Her dad was an avid sports fan, she with him, and he had made her promise to tell him all about it. Not that she would ever let Severus know. Gleefully- a little too much for his taste- she took his hands and led him up the bleachers to the perfect place. High enough to see, but not so low that one had to strain. "I got a letter from my mother. She's got another wand. Finally got around to Ollivander's, I guess." If he had his way Lily could do without hearing every small detail, but that was Dumbledore for you. She nodded eagerly. "That's great, Severus." And she was back to using his formal name. He couldn't pretend he didn't notice that. A chilly breeze blew by, and he wrapped his silver and green scarf tighter around his neck.

"I think I'd like to try out for Quidditch- I'd make a good Seeker. I'd be the best they ever had," a loud voice declared. It was, of course, James Potter. "Don't you agree, Evans?" "Let's go," put in Lily firmly, and they shuffled around until they found another seat far enough away. It was tradition that the Gryffindors and Slytherins sat on opposite sides, but it wasn't mandatory , and Severus was getting a good many glares. He knew they'd give him hell that night in the Common Room, too, but it hardly mattered. "He'd make a good Seeker. They get a lot of attention. It would feed his enormous ego." Lily laughed. This was strange, because he did not think of himself as a funny person, but it was high and beautiful and he didn't want it to end.

"What's a Seeker?" "Oh, right. They look for the Golden Snitch. It's really tiny and really fast, and fi they catch it they earn a hundred and fifty points and end the game." She raised her eyebrows at this. "So the game doesn't end until the Snitch is caught? Sounds kind of dumb to me, I mean, it could go on forever. And why's it worth so much? That's nothing like football." The boy shrugged. He'd seen his father watching that particular sport. "No, it's not. I didn't make the rules. I don't really like Quidditch all that much. There are better things to do in one's spare time if you ask me."

She nodded in agreement. "Yeah. But keep explaining." "Okay, so then you have the Chasers- three of them. They move the Quaffle around and try to get it through the goal posts." She gave him a you- should-know-better-by-now look and he sighed. "The Quaffle is a big red ball. Then there's the beaters, two to a team. They basically whack around heavy, fast rouge balls and try to knock the Chasers off balance." She actually audibly gasped at this, as if he had just proposed they go off on a crime scheme. "That- that's really dangerous! You're up all these feet above the air…" "Chill out, Lils. Football is dangerous too. All sports are, I guess."

He gave her a shy smile. This was why she was so amazing- well, one of the many reasons. She detested the thought of anybody getting hurt. He just hoped nobody ever hurt her. "Then you have the Keepers. They defend the goal posts." "I think I got it." She repeated everything back to him without any errors. It was shaping up to be a very great day, even with Quidditch.

It wasn't long before the players took the pitch and mounted their brooms, Madame Hooch calling for a nice _clean_ game (as if bloody Gryffindors ever played fair, Severus mused). And off they went. It was mostly a whirl of red and green for the first five minutes, until at last a player in red got the Quaffle into a goal. Gryffindor was up. Not for long, though. Their Chaser was about to score yet again when a well-aimed Bludger nipped that in the bud ("They're as fast a cannons," he heard Lily whisper). Then the Gryffindor Beaters were on the offensive, trying to knock any and all opposing players off their brooms. The Slytherin Chasers, fortunately (or not, depending) were small, nimble, and fast and dodged all but one, and scored two goals. Then the Slytherin Seeker started playing dirty and did a false nose dive to throw off their opponent and it worked. The audience roared at this, clearly unhappy, and you could not even hear the announcer. But they were soon distracted when another Gryffindor Chaser made a goal, evening the score. It was really a tight race then. The teams were very evenly matched. One slip-up from either Keeper, or well-aimed hit from the Beaters made all the difference. Soon, though, the Slytherin Seeker really did see the little golden ball hovering above him, and made a grab for it. The fans erupted all around them but Lily looked crestfallen.

"That's it?" she asked It had only lasted a grand total of three hours. "Slytherin only won because they caught the Snitch!" "That's the idea," replied Severus glumly. This was really not his thing, and to him had been a waste of an afternoon. "I don't think I like Quidditch much." "You're just saying that because Slytherin won," he teased her, and she slapped him playfully on the arm. Secretly, she was glad they did, if it made him happier. "So… we're friends again?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer. It took him a minute to consider it. "Okay, Lily. Maybe- maybe you're right." "Of course I am. And admit it, you missed me." "I did not…"


	17. Spellwork

December seemed to come exceedingly fast that year. Severus and Lily didn't attend any more of the Quidditch games, to the relief of both, and they were quite busy avoiding James Potter anyway. But two weeks seemed a long time to part, even if they were each anxious to see their mothers again. Honestly, Severus wasn't sure whether life would be better or worse with his Mum now that his father wasn't around to screw things up. It turned out that it was quite a bit better.

That hardly mattered though, what with so many cousins running around large Prince Manor. Most of the time he spent holed up in his room. "I know you're not doing homework in there the whole time," cousin Lacey admonished him. Aunt Eloise, Eileen's sister, had inherited the house when their father died (Severus had never met his grandparents). She had two children, Lacey and Simon. Then there was Uncle Edmund, who was visiting with his little Spanish wife Ana and their son Ricardo. Ricardo was only three and a complete handful.

"When I was at Hogwarts they were at least merciful during the holiday," Lacey went on. She had only graduated last year, but the way she talked it made it sound as if it were an infinity ago. He rolled his eyes. "I know we're all a bit crazy…" "A bit?" "But you don't have to hide from us, you know."

Honestly, he liked his room here. It was spacier than the one he had occupied at Spinner's End, with a full-sized bed that had navy blue covers, a beautiful oak floor, and a nightstand and dresser made from gorgeous holly. There was a large window as well, with green Slytherin drapings, and a blue shag rug. His favorite part, though, was the lavish writing desk. Its chair even had rose-patterned beige cloth. His trunk was laid open at the end of the bed, and he and obviously been hard at work. He shrugged. He did not like his family and did not care if they knew it.

"It's Christmas Eve, cuz." Like that made a difference. "Okay." "Come down and help make cookies."

"No."

Lacey sighed. He could be so difficult and she just could not understand. "Whatever. But I'm sending Ricardo up here in a little while." "Don't you are…" But she was already gone.

Annoyed, he slammed the door behind him and sat down at the desk. He had not been doing homework, in truth, because he'd been engrossed in a book on the dark arts. It was fascinating, and if his mother found out she would not discourage him. He loved it. It would be so nice to pay back Potter for his nastiness, and do worse than what had ever been done to him. And that particularly cutting curse or hex would not be expected, either- and that aspect was very appealing. Oh, to see the look on his face…

His eyes grew wider and wider as he read about curses that would damage internal organs, bind someone with ropes, or even conjure a great slithering serpent. Each was more exciting than the next. After and hour of this he decided he was ready. He did not just want to use the spells other wizards had written and play off of their greatness. He wanted to do something with his life and make something of himself. He wanted to be great. And so he opened his notebook and began scribbling like crazy, while muttering nonstop under his breath. He used select Latin roots, or any combination of them, but when he actually tried them out with his wand it was to no avail. And some of them he would never test out on himself-

"Severus." It was his Aunt Ana. He groaned to himself. He did not think much of the magical schools in Spain, and not only was she an untalented witch, but had no inkling of the emotions of anybody else. "I thought you would be happy here. We're _magical,_ after all. It's not like you have to deal with Muggles anymore." This just proved his point. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? "I'm just minding my own business." "We want to spend time with you." That did not mean it was mutual. He would have been mouthing off right about now if that would not make her stay longer. And he really did not want to draw his family into an argument. "I need some space, that's all." This was his favorite place in the whole manor.

"Sevvie!" And there was Ricardo. Ever the little brat, he clung to Severus's leg and planted himself there. Ana seemed to find this hilarious. "He really likes you." "Get him off of me!" The small black-haired boy, who looked ever the Spaniard his mother was, only giggled obnoxiously. Still he did not move. "He's not hurting anything." Here Severus lost his temper. That was the last straw. He stood and dragged Ricardo across the floor with him, which made the twat scream. "You're hurting him."

"I DON'T CARE! GET HIM OFF OF ME!"

And with that he finally managed to shake Ricardo from him. The boy sat squat on the rug and howled.

"Severus, that was out of line."

He was beet red now and had lost all control, as if his patience were not thin enough already. As if he were a naturally patient person. "How many times do I have to tell you I don't bloody care? I am fine on my own, I don't need any of you people! Don't you get it?" He could have smacked her in the face and it would have hurt less. Skulking, she picked up the still crying baby and turned to go. "I'll leave you alone then. But just remember- eleven years old is not so old."

She closed the door behind her, leaving him fuming. He wondered why they were always so intent on getting up in his business, and why they were so bloody nosy. And as he fell asleep, he wondered why anyone would want to be around him at all.

A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews y'all- keep em coming! If there are magical schools in America, France, and Nordic countries, what do you think they would be like in Spain?


	18. Christmas

The next morning he woke to the sound of something soft that sounded suspiciously like his mother's voice. It was very low and sweet sickeningly so. "Darling, come on, it's time to get up. Today's Christmas." She gently rubbed his shoulders, trying to rouse him. He was still in jeans and a sweatshirt, having fallen asleep during experimentation, and books and papers were sprawled out under him. The position he was in certainly did not look comfortable.

"Mm," he mumbled incoherently, not really hearing her. He could have stayed here forever were it not for the crick in his neck. "Honey, come downstairs." Nothing was working. Teenagers, Eileen mused. She opened the curtains, glad at least when he elicited a yelp. It was blinding. "Aunt Eloise is making breakfast." "The usual cardboard then." "Don't make fun of your aunt's cooking. You're hardly shown your face all break. We want to see you, baby."

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he managed a good long stretch and a yawn. His mother was frowning. She was soon gone, however. Realizing that she was right and that he would have to show himself, he dragged himself out of bed and rummaged around in his trunk until he found a clean black shirt, which he changed into. He did not bother to do anything to his hair. "Hey, kid," Uncle Edmund stated when he appeared and Simon even clapped his hands. Ignoring this, he simply sat down criss-cross style by the tree, and at Spinner's End Eileen never used to have one, so for her this made it even more special.

"Go on, kids," Ana encouraged squeezing her husband's hand. It was clear they had all been waiting on Severus as Lacey even made an offhand comment about lazy, grumpy boys. They all dug in. Severus, for one, did not want to focus on all of the ways his cousins were being indulged when they were already so spoiled, and so grudgingly partook. They were all so very loud, but when he opened his first gift he could hear none of it for the pounding in his ears.

It was a Newt-level potions kit.

"Mom," he breathed. He had never seen anything so beautiful, and couldn't' take his eyes off of it. He handled it as if it would break in a second- which, he figured, it would if Ricardo got ahold of it. "How did you afford this?" he whispered. How expensive it must have been! She merely grinned mischievously. "Don't worry about it." That only made the knot in his stomach grow larger, and he was hard put to tell himself to let it go. He did worry. "Thank you. It's amazing… it's so incredible I can't even…" He wondered how she could have possibly known.

The rest of his presents were utterly predictable. _A Christmas Carol_ from Lacey signed "To Scrooge- Humbug." A video game from Simon he would never play, even if it was a _wizard_ video game (as he so astutely pointed out). A sweater from Aunt Eloise, a mystery novel from Ana and a Mozart album from Edmund. Mozart was pretty famous for a Muggle whose music was actually enjoyed among the magical community, and so that was actually a pretty good pick (And Severus like classical music too.)

"Oh, son," Eileen managed as she fingered a delicate purple lace scarf, given to her by her boy. It too was costly, and Lily had helped him choose it because it brought out the dark of her eyes. He had wanted to get something just perfect. She instantly put it on. A success.

Just then the two oldest children took the toddler to play with all of the new toys he had gotten and the sisters went off the cook. Edmund settled down with a book and waved his nephew off. "Breakfast will be soon," was all he said. So Severus piled on his thick gray wool coat and mittens; as anxious as he was to get brewing, he had the greatest chance of being left to his own devices if he went outside. He needed to gather some ingredients anyway.

Soon, however, he got lost in thought. Mostly he just daydreamed about a certain redhead. Last night had seen a decent snow, and so the world was covered all in white. His tracks were the first fresh ones to be seen. Not sure where he was going, he just circled the house, lost…

And it was as if someone had read his mind. Because a certain redhead appeared around a corner, and before he could shout "Lily!" in surprise a humongous snowball was being hurled at him. She laughed hysterically, as if this were the funniest thing ever. He ice blue fleece jacket seemed to make her hair even more vibrant, and the laces of her furry brown boots were untied.

On instinct, he reached down, balled up some snow in his hands, and aimed it squarely at her chest. He hit, but before this so much as registered two more grazed his head. She had a whole secret stash already piled up against the side of the house! Quick as lightning he whipped out his wand and muttered an incantation so that Lily was pummeled with twenty snowballs at once. She shrieked. "No fair, Sev!" She hadn't heard him say the spell, and had to keep making them by hand. The war was on. It lasted half an hour and ended up with them laying on the ground with a sharp stabbing sensation in their lungs. Both were out of breath.

"So what's with the ambush?" he asked after a while. She laughed again. "I just came to leave your present. It's on the doorstep." "I'm not fair? You and your sneak attack…" She burst into a fresh round of giggles. He wasn't covered in half as much snow as his friend, because his use of magic she could not fathom had ensured an easy victory. The sun was hidden by a grey cloud, which made it resemble a silver oyster. "Hey, this is kind of cool," she said then, as if she'd given it consideration. She moved her arms back and forth, back and forth, and did the same with her legs. "A snow angel! Come on, Sev." He had no idea why, but he did. Then they stood, very carefully, and admired their work. Soon she had to leave, though, and he found a box of Chocolate Frogs by the door, and glowed for the rest of the day.

And it was Christmas.


	19. Home

Then it was back to Hogwarts, to his relief. The rest of the term seemed to fly by, and it was not long before it ended. His birthday passed uneventfully; it was hard to believe it had been an entire year since he got his letter. He and Lily took to going on long walks, talking about anything and everything. It was bliss. The summer would not be around to interrupt them. They boarded the steaming scarlet Hogwarts Express in high spirits.

The two friends chatted jovially all the way, having found a car to themselves. It was cloudy out, but that hardly mattered. The way the they saw it, playing in the rain would be just as fun as playing in the snow. The ride seemed to go by very quickly- like everything these days- and afterwards the locomotive came to a stop they stepped out onto the platform together, lugging their trunks. Severus searched high and low but did not see his mother anywhere. She was sure to come, though.

He just didn't see her yet.

"Mom! Dad!" Lily cried suddenly, and both of her parents wrapped hier in a hug. He smiled at them. It must be pretty amazing, to have a Muggle family who didn't hate magic, and loved you enough to come to King's Cross Station of all places. They were even dressed respectably, in gray and brown and black business clothes. Their shoes were even shined. He was glad then that he had opted to take off his robes. Petunia, of course, had been unceremoniously dragged along, and looked as stuck-up and aloof as always. He wondered what things were like between her and Lily now, considering the elder-girl's declaration this past September. They did not so much as look at each other. Lily shot Severus a worried glance then.

"She'll be along," he assured her. But Mrs. Evans was not having any of it. "Nonsense, dear. We'll wait with you." "Thank you, but it's not necessary." "Severus." Lily's voice was cold and left no room for debate. He huffed, and they moved along the bustling station, a blur of red and gold, brooms and owl cages. Mrs. Snape was nowhere to be found. They kept walking.

Still she was not there.

"I don't see her," Mr. Evans frowned. "Neither do I," Severus admitted. It had been five minutes, but these had no reason not to be here. He was troubled and could not pretend he was not. "Let's wait awhile," decided Mrs. Evans, and Lily nodded emphatically. Petunia made an excessively loud moaning noise but they ignored her. So they all stood frozen in place- for five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. They were all getting impatient, it was just that everyone excepting Petunia was too polite to say anything. Her nasty comments got tiring too; and Mrs. Evans kept glaring at her, but said nothing.

"It's alright," Severus tried again. "You don't have to…" "I don't think she's coming," Mr. Evans put in. "And if she is she knows where to look for you. I think you'd best come with us." "I really…" "Now, we'll get it straightened out. But in the meantime, we'll certainly take you home."

And so he ended up in the backseat of an old Suburban, Lily faithfully by his side and her sister sulking on her other side. It was not a long ride to Cokeworth, but not a short one either. Indeed it felt a good deal longer than it should have, but at last the car was rolling down Spinner's End…

He wasted no time in hopping out, as if escaping and in his haste did not realized that they were on his heels. His heart seemed to get stuck in his throat and he seemed frozen in place. For a long moment he had literally no idea what to do. A large sign jabbed into the front lawn read, FORECLOSED. His mouth was hanging open, and somewhere in the distance he could hear Petunia scoff. "Leave it to the Snape's."

He was filled with hot, boiling, untamable anger, but luckily before he could act on it before Lily did, and slapped her sister hard against her face. Considering the situation she was reprimanded for this. The day suddenly seemed grayer, and dull… and once his rage passed all that was left was hurt and confusion. More of a numbness, actually. "Where is my Mom?" He was grateful, it was true, for their blunt honestly. This only halfway explained why she did not come. "I don't know," Mr. Evans shook his head sadly. "But like I said, we're not giving you a choice. You're coming with us. She'll know where to find you."

And now he was ashamed. Why? Why in the world did awful things have to happen to him? Why did such nice, friendly people have to see him at his most vulnerable, and why did he have to go with them? Where were he and his mother going to stay? Why had she not told him they had run out of money, and where was she? And why, why, why was he about to cry?

"Yes, yes dear," Mrs. Evans agreed, placing a hand on the puny boy's back and guiding him back to the car. Blessedly, nobody said a word as they drove the two blocks, nor when they arrived. They all simply unbuckled, as if nothing was wrong, and Severus followed Lily up to her room. He was sure they were laughing at him, and he didn't like it one bit. Of course, he'd never really been to Lily's house before, but that only seemed to make the whole thing worse.

It was large and warm, painted in cool yellows and reds. The dining room table had obviously been passed down from a former generation, but the sprawling oriental rugs looked brand new. He only gets a glimpse of this, though. It did not surprise him that Lily's room was painted completely fuchsia, nor that all the furniture was pristine white.

Without a word she lifted up the purple bed skirt and started pulling out a bare twin-sized trundle bed which took up the entire space between the bed and the wall. He helped her make it up with fresh sheets and lays down, now at the lowest point in his young life.


	20. Petunia Again

The girl did not come downstairs for the longest time, but stayed transfixed, listening to the sound of her friend's ready breathing. If he were asleep it would have been more rhythmic, but she doubted he could sleep considering the situation, and as it was rather sporadic. Soon, however, she felt her stomach rumble, and decided she'd better inquire about dinner.

But upon hearing the conversation she stopped short on the stairs. "Had no idea they were having such problems," he mother was saying. She and her father were seated in the living room, and the stiars, which were positioned off of the foyer, were the perfect place to eavesdrop, as she could see them but they couldn't see her. "Indeed, I was under the impression they were doing much better. Hardly expected this-" Mr. Evan's voice got uncharacteristically lower.

"Poor, poor boy. But it is so confusing. The Princes are allegedly very well-off… but if she married that terrible excuse for a human being," his wife responded. "Yes- you told me it was quite a fortune, an enormous sum- but if that's so, there was no need for this to happen." "Eileen is an independent woman. She wouldn't have accepted their help, or they might not have offered it in the first place. I don't understand it. If things were that dire-"

Here Lily's stomach clenched. The pause was very painful. She recalled the conversation she'd had with Severus earlier…. _I don't want to live off my relatives,_ he had said. He'd also told her that his dad had made all the money. Father. Tobias hardly counted as a dad. Weird as it was, it did make sense to her. If Eileen had taken the same view as her son…

"First she sat around and let her son go through that atrocity without doing anything. She never so much as lifted a finger. And then she straight up abandoned him when more trouble came." Lily was about ready to throw up upon hearing this. Abandoned was a strong word. There was no way it could be true, could it? Why did Severus have to suffer? "Honey, you are forgetting that she was a victim too. She was probably afraid. Imagine what he would do to her- if- if it got out," Mrs. Evans managed, clearly struggling. "And what did happen to her. I'm afraid I'm more responsible than I thought. It did get out. I wrote to the Headmaster and he must have found out. I can't believe it, but that must have been it."

Now tears were silently flowing down Lily's cheeks. She was even more to blame. What a heavy weight that was, like lead pumping through her veins in place of blood. Severus loved his mother so… "I can't believe it." And Mrs. Evans was obviously feeling the same way. Lily could never put herself in her friend's place. She would never get over it if something happened to her mother. "Don't talk like that. You don't know for sure. All we can do now is be there for the child. God only knows how he suffers still," Mr. Evans told her. Now, now a groan came right from the pit, the very center of Lily's gut, of her innermost being.

And then she heard her sister's voice. "Does he have to stay here?" She apparently had not heard the majority of the conversation, and had just walked in. But that did not stop Lily from getting angry. "Now, Petunia. He is a very sweet boy. Maybe you should get to know him before making such jugement." "Look where he comes from! All the lot of them are disgusting. And he's a _wizard._ " The emphasis she placed on this last word was icy cold. "We already have one of their freakish kind in our house, which is bad enough. But now you want to harbor one more? It's not our fault his family is crap. Why doesn't he use magic to fix this? Anything but make me suffer for it."

And with that Lily took two long strides into the room. "You, _you_ are not suffering. How _dare_ you! You didn't just insult him, or the Snape's which is bad enough. You insulted me. I cannot help being a witch." Petunia gave a laugh, fake, ugly and nasty. Her hands flew to her hips. "Oh, of course not. Of course you can't. you just have to be the best at everything. Perfect little witch. Oh, let it go, she _can't help it._ I am so sick of it." Her sister's jaw dropped, disbelief flashing in her green eyes. "Is that what this is about? Your shallow, petty jealousy?"

"I am not jealous. You think I want to go to some weird school to learn magic?" The elder girl pushed a lock of thin, stringy brown hair out of her face. People always said that Lily was a real beauty, especially when they were younger, but no one could ever say it about her. "You didn't seem to have a problem with it when you wrote that letter." This made Petunia get very pale. "Which he _stole._ " "Which I stole. Honestly, how selfish are you being?" But by now their parents had had enough. "Girls, stop arguing," said Mrs. Evans.

"Petunia, Severus is staying here. He has nowhere else to go. Have a little compassion." She turned her large nose up at this. Such an idea, in her mind, was positively ludicrous. "Compassion? Don't be crazy. How could I ever have compassion on someone who can fix all of their problems with the wave of some stick?" "A wand is not some stick," said Lily hotly, and she would not look away. "Who cares what it is-" "I care." "Well, I don't. He's nothing but pathetic and this just proves it. I don't know why you guys wand to help that puny little runt."

At this point Mrs. Evans had to put a hand on her littlest daughter's shoulder to reign her in. Many may not have known it, but she had a temper to match her hair. "Petunia, that's enough. Go to your room." She was close to losing it too. "See what I mean? She gets away with murder. Lily this and Lily that-" "So you are jealous," the almost twelve year old stated flatly. Her sister looked injured, judging by the beet red color of her face.

"I am _not_! I don't want anything to do with your wackiness whatsoever. You're only abnormal, not special like everyone believes. A witch. They only get worse, you and your lot, freakier and stranger as you keep going deeper. Severus just proves it. There's a good reason your deplorable world is hidden away from us. I said it before and I'll say it again. It's for our protection. I want nothing to do with you, Lily, or your people." Mr. and Mrs. Evans audibly gasped, but to the young witch it didn't really come as a surprise. "I told you to leave and go to your room," their mother put in, deciding to be firm. "The both of you are being ridiculous." At this petunia turned to go head held high in the air.

"I want you to know that it doesn't matter," Lily called after her as she went. "Because me and my _people_ want nothing to do with you either." To tell the truth, she had no idea what had happened with her sister. They used to be really close when they were little, and she hadn't wanted to admit how upset she had been at Petunia's declaration the beginning of last year. But now she knew. It was never going to change. They had gone their separate ways.

And she meant it, she did not care.

"You do realize that you were wrong too," Mr. Evans reprimanded her, and she turned back to them. "I don't really care. I'm never going to be able to get anywhere with her." She shrugged. "Mom, what were you saying about the Princes having money?" Mrs. Evan's face fell. She clearly hadn't expected- or wanted- her daughter to hear any of what was said, and could not hide her surprise. "Just what it sounds like. An inheritance apparently passed down for generations." Lily's mouth fell open. "I heard a good many rumors after we first found out about you and he. You saw their manor." Was there nothing she could be sure of anymore? Must everything always be so confusing and crazy?

"But it didn't make any difference," she breathed. "No. But darling, let's not get mixed up in personal affairs." "I don't think you understand, mother. This is personal to me. If there's something else going on… Mrs. Snape didn't even come for him." What else was going on, she didn't have the faintest idea, but she was determined have the faintest idea, but she was determined to find out. "Mrs. Snape only didn't come for him because she is sick. She sent us a letter asking if we could take him to the manor, but it didn't come until an hour ago." She must've had trouble using Muggle mail," realized Lily, relief like she had never known flooding through her.

Mr. Evans look hurt. "You might have mentioned it earlier." Yes, she might have. They looked at her questioningly. "I was planning on telling you all at once so I didn't repeat myself. I was still intending to have him stay the night," she examined. "I'll tell him. He'll be so glad. But if I know him, he'll be too embarrassed to want to eat with us." "You two can eat in your room. That'll be best for all of us." The girl's grin could light up the pitch-black night. She squeezed Mrs. Evans tightly. "You're the best, Mom! I'll write Mrs. Snape too."


	21. Finding God

She did not know what she expected to find when she returned. A sulking, innocent boy pretending to be asleep, perhaps. What she found instead was an anxious looking boy with strands of long, dark hair framing his worried face, sitting up and staring at her, concerned. But why ever… Oh. The full force of what had happened slapped her in the face. She felt so sorry for him. He did not like pity, and she had to choose her next words very carefully. But before she could speak at all he beat her to the punch.

"I'm sorry I caused all of that." "All of what? Oh…" It had just dawned on her. "The fight? I thought you guys were-" She brushed it off. "Yeah, we were. Must have been pretty loud, huh?" The other question went unasked: _how much did you hear?_ "Sort of, yes. I'm sorry I cause all that." The trundle creaked as he threw the blankets off of him and hugged his knees to his chest. She huffed. _At least he didn't look too distraught._

"No, it was just her being nasty. I've never hated my sister so much." Hated? Hate was a strong word, and he knew she couldn't mean what she said. This was the girl who had gotten so angry at him for harming Petunia all those years ago. It seemed impossible, yet she had waved it off as nothing. "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" "The bad."

This, she felt, said a lot about him, that after all he had been through he would still want the bad news first. But it also saddened her. She could almost hear his voice in her head- _best to get it over with._ It brought to her attention how little happiness there was in his life. She quickly whipped away a tear before he could see it.

No pity.

"Your mother is sick, and she's also not very good at using Muggle mail. The good news is that you're staying, at least for tonight. I'll write her." "I hope longer," he grumbled, but she chose to ignore this and reached behind her for her good parchment and pen. "I don't like using quills at home," she supplied simply upon seeing his questioning look. She scribbled something quickly- indeed much faster than he would have if she had used a quill- and stuffed the paper in its designated envelope, writing 'Mrs. Snape,' on it with a flourish. She smiled at this, and then frowned as it came to her. But still she said nothing.

"I'll take this down, and be right back with dinner." True to her word, she indeed returned speedily, even hastily. He instantly relived her of one of her burdens, and at her invitation sat cross-legged at the end of the bed. How grateful he was to the Evans, not only for letting him stay but for understanding, and giving him a tray of baked ziti rather than would have been a very unpleasant meal, to say the least. It was nice, being here.

"What did your mother do to make you so mad?" That came like a punch in the gut. "I'm not made," he said between spoonful's. But her imploring look said it all. He sighed impatiently. "Don't lie to me." "Look, it's just that I'm so sick of her pretending it's going to be alright when it never is. And blowing all that money on a bloody potions kit! She should have told me what was going on. She'd been doing more business than she ever has, and then this happens. She wants me to be happy but never even considers how I feel. And it's rotten." His friend considered this a moment from where she was propped up against the Headmaster opposite him. "So she wouldn't have asked your relatives from help?"

He scoffed and looked away, stopping his eating for the moment. "I doubt she even tried." And it was clear, for the moment, what he thought of _that._ "Which is ironic considering she's currently a leech sucking at their income anyway," he continued. "But she's your mother. You still love her." A pause- a long pause. Little boys should love their mothers, she thought vehemently. "Yeah. I'd be better if she didn't marry a drunk, though." "No, it wouldn't," the girl answered coolly, removing herself from the bed and placing their half-empty rays on the desk. Neither had much of an appetite.

"What?" "Because then, Severus, I wouldn't have you." She had had to say it- so what if it made him blush massively. She knew him well enough now to hear what he did not say: _It would be better if I never existed._ Pish-posh. She retook her place across from him. "I'm glad you're here, Sev." That did it. If he got any redder he'd be a tomato. "Me too," he whispered.

Then she took a large leather-bound book from the nightstand and opened it. "My mother gave me this Bible. I like to read a bit of it every night. You don't mind?" He shook his head. What else could he say? He'd never really been exposed to this stuff before, his lovely mother coming from a long line of Slytherins who, while they didn't exactly serve You-Know-Who, embraced Dark Magic nonetheless. And so John 3 did not really make a lot of sense to him.

"And Jesus is the son of God." "Yes." She knew she would have to be very patient with him, but it would be worth the reward. "But also human on Earth. So God sent Jesus here. But why?" "To die," she answered plainly. "Each of us is sinful and deserves such awful punishment, deserves…. death. That's the beauty of it. Christ knew his purpose here. He preached, and taught us how to live. Then he was crucified." "Crucified"

She gave a wry smile. "Horrible, huh?" "So what's all this about being 'born of the spirit?'" "The Spirit of God. Being born again means you no longer follow the ways of the world. You're no longer a part of it. You belong in the Kingdom of Heaven." "That makes no sense, Lily." She sighed, knowing she wasn't doing a great job of explaining it. "To go to Heaven, you must have faith and know Jesus." "But- please don't get offended, I don't mean it- but how do you even know that God exists, Lily?" She merely laughed, which in hindsight made him feel worse. Had he been that stupid? "I'm sorry." "No, it was a great question. I feel him, Severus. Every day. People who don't know, don't know."

She couldn't meet his gaze. It was usually her who looked away first. "And- and how do you know Jesus is the Christ? That he's God's actual son?" He could not keep the incredulity from his voice. Then she read Isaiah 53, and several other passages to back it up. She was, if not anything else, prepared. "This still does not feel right to me," he conceded. "Didn't men write the Bible?" "Yes, they did. But they were men who had seen God. I know there's no proof of that. You just don't know until you believe." "And you do?" Obviously, she wanted to say, but restrained herself.

"You will know when you truly, truly do," she offered. This was true enough. "Okay, so how do I believe?" She frowned for the second time that evening and he did not like it. He was not doing this right. It was very frustrating. Little did he know it was because she had no idea how to answer. "When you cannot live with yourself because you are a deplorable human being, when you hit rock bottom and have that ultimate moment of self-condemnation and literally fell like you are the worst person alive. And then," she leaned in, her smile returned at how wide his eyes were, and the rapt attention with which he listened, "You realize that God loves you anyway. Enough to die for you. His Son did die for you. It is his grace that saves you, and nothing else."

No sound was heard save for their breathing. For the girl it was an amazing moment, as she let all this sink in. "Why?" And he had asked the one question she hoped he would not. "Why would He love someone like me?" And she dove into the parable of the lost sheep, leaving the ninety-nine to go in search of the one. "You are His creation, His child. And He is an excellent Father. You are the work of his hands and He will never abandon you." She knew she had gone down the wrong path there. It would take him a while to fully digest what that meant. And for someone unloved by their very own parents it may have meant nothing.

She prayed silently then and there that she'd gotten through to him. To reenforce it, she read Romans 1-3. It was clear he was quite bewildered by all of this, and it weighed heavily on her heart that he'd never been introduced to all of this. Didn't know how the Lord loved him. "You keep this. I have another." She handed him the Bible, and he stared, blank-faced. "I don't know where to start." "Just… anywhere. But I'm tired, Sev. Let's go to bed." "Thank you, Lily."


	22. Prince Manor

A small but long-legged, greasy-haired boy hid in the shadows of a large but hollow manor, where he had been dropped off earlier that morning by the Evan's. He had thought, with his father gone, that the arguments would have ended, but apparently he was wrong. Eileen was indeed feeling better but was still in bed with a fever. That did not stop her, though.

"You need to get out of this funk, Eileen. It's gone on long enough." Aunt Eloise sounded annoyed, and had no idea her nephew sat hunched behind the cracked door. "What do you want me to do?" And his mother sounded equally annoyed. "Get out there. Get a job." "I have a job." "Obviously it's not good enough!"

Here came the yelling. Severus closed his eyes. For him this was always the worst part. "You're a laundress, Eileen. Think of your son. He has nowhere to stay. This is not his home. What of his future?" "You think I haven't thought of his future?" She must have been really sick. Normally she would have blown her lid if anyone accused her like that. "Yes, that is precisely what I think. How are you going to put him through school? What is he going to do after Hogwarts?" He could visualize her sneer. "It's too early to worry about that." "No, it's not. If you don't do something I will. If you don't start making a living for yourself- your own living, not ironing and starching clothes- then I will cut you off."

Her sister gasped at this. The words themselves shouldn't have hurt, but they were the most painful words the boy had ever heard. It made him feel unwanted, tossed aside like something stinky and contaminated like a nasty virus. He wondered if his mother felt the same way. "And _I'm_ not thinking of his welfare?" "No. You need to get back on your feet so you can support him. He's your responsibility, not mine." Hadn't he always been that? A burden on his mother's shoulders? "Well, what do you suggest I go to work doing? I didn't have any specialty training after I graduated. I'm not skilled enough for anyone to want to hire me." It was a nasty fact, that. Nothing else could make the situation seem so hopeless. What would it be like to have a home, a home where it was just he and his mother and they had enough money? It didn't even have to be a big house, or a nice house- just a house-

Eloise seemed to take a long time to consider this as well. "I am sure that Edward will find a place for you at the newspaper. He is the editor, after all, and if you've ever been good at anything it's researching and writing. I'll talk to him." This, at least, was good news. There was a high probability Uncle Edward would agree, and if he did- But Severus wouldn't allow himself to even think it. "I- I would be much obliged if you did, sis." Damn right she would. That could really be the start of something. A real family, and not something broken like they'd always had. But he didn't dare to dream. "Don't thank me yet," his Aunt hissed.

"Just take better care of Severus. Of your son."


	23. Train Ride

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said." They were lucky, both agreed, to find an empty car. Severus had arrived at Platform 9 ¾ a good deal before Lily, but hadn't wanted to board the Hogwarts express without her. It was symbolic- they entered the magical world together. Now they sat across from each other as the rolling country passed by outside the window. It was a lavish scene, and the almost second-year girl was transfixed by it. "And- well- the way you were talking made it sound as though Jesus _knew_ that he was going to die the whole time. What's with that?"

She gave him a shy little smile, and green eyes met opal. "He did." Her friend raised a skeptical eyebrow. "So even though he knew it was going to end up so bloody, he still preached anyway?" "Of course. When you're on a mission from God nothing can stop you. He knew why it had to happen like that, and was ready to join His Father in heaven." "What did he say that made them want to crucify Him?" She was very relieved to hear him talking about it. Maybe that meant it had worked and he had been reading some. "That He was the Son of God." "And they didn't believe Him." "No. By this time He had a very large following. I think He scared them." Here she frowned as his eyes darted to the right and left as if he didn't want to be overheard.

"Sev, are you… embarrassed to talk about this?" Nothing could have bothered her like that. It didn't make sense, either. Why would he be? Then it hit her. "You don't have to worry about being made fun of. I won't let anybody mock you. You're my best friend." "That's just it, Lils. I hate feeling like someone has to stick up for me. Especially-" "A girl," she finished, her voice taking on a sudden coldness. "Especially _you,_ " he corrected. "I'm sorry." "Don't be. I understand. But you should be proud to proclaim God's word." She was glad to see that he was now smiling too. It was amazing how far a little reassurance went, she thought. Again she found herself feeling sorry for him instead of angry. "I'm a long way from that." "I know. It's alright, you'll get there." "Did you mean that, about everybody deserving to rot in hell?" "Yes."

And he was blushing again. "You don't deserve to rot in hell, don't be stupid." He looked away, unable once more to meet her gaze. "Sure I do. I'm not perfect, Severus. Everybody sins." Well, that was not what he expected. It just wasn't right. "So what you're saying is that nobody can go to heaven because everybody sins?" "Exactly. That's why Jesus had to come and save us." "But not everybody goes to heaven." "No. Some people belong to Satan. I know that sounds pretty bad, but it's either Satan or God. Light or dark- there's nothing in between. We're all battling the Evil One. They lost." He made a face, despite the knowledge that it came straight from the Bible. It certainly didn't sound very pleasant. Of course his next question was extremely predictable.

"How do you win?" He knew, deep in his heart- which was actually very big- that she already had. He couldn't explain it, and this made him squirmy. "Follow God's law, and Jesus's teaching. Do you have it with you?" He, naturally, produced the Bible from the luggage overhead, fumbling with his bulky trunk before retrieving it. She helped him push it back up on the rack. Then she sat on the bench beside him, which made his heart flutter, and read most of the Gospel of Matthew before they were interrupted. "Candy from the trolley, dears?" She was a kind old woman, the trolley lady, and Lily could not help herself. She bought an assortment of things, and of course held out a Chocolate Frog to Severus.

"Want one?" "I see what you're trying to do, Lily. You don't have to." "What are you talking about?" "I can't afford my own treats so you're offering me yours. It's really sweet, but I can't let you." Her face fell. She looked crestfallen. "I can't just sit here and eat while you have nothing. It's not Christianly. Besides, there's way too much for just me-" "You did that on purpose." The tone of his voice said it all. "Are you accusing me?" "Aren't I right?" She let out a breath. This was extremely frustrating, how short his fuse was. "Look, you're acting like your mother, refusing to accept help." As soon as those words left her she clasped her hand over her mouth. "It's Chocolate Frogs." She could feel her heart pounding and she didn't even know why. It was eerie.

"I'm sorry." "It doesn't matter." "Yes, it does." "Stop telling me it matters! Clearly it doesn't." That was biting. "What do you mean?" "It won't stop you from feeling sorry for me. I wish you wouldn't." "I just miss you, that's all. We didn't see each other as much this summer with you at Prince Manor and all. Not every day like we did before." When you were just two blocks away, she finished in her head. He halfway expected her to start mocking his mother for being part of a rich family yet nothing have any money because she married such an arsehole, but then he recalled what she'd said the night he stayed at her house. This was Lily. She wouldn't reveal his secrets- or his pitiful state- to anyone, which made her even more amazing. "I don't like it there." And she remembered what he said about hating living off his relatives. It didn't matter what an awesome place they had.

To him it must be like a prison.

"I bet you don't. I wouldn't either." _I bet you don't._ How many people could understand him like that? This was the moment, the first time, he realized the magnitude of his feelings for her. He loved her, and not just as a friend. He really, truly loved her. She never seemed to blame him for everything like everyone else. "We'd best get into our robes."

She was staring at the ground.


	24. Bible Burning

From that moment on he promised himself that he would learn to be a Christian, if only for her sake. Every day after dinner when the day was over he read the Bible like he knew she did, even if most of it didn't make sense. At least he had someone to explain it the next day. The beginning of the year passed uneventfully in this manner… that is, until Halloween. He was laying in the lounge chair in the Slytherin Common Room as usual wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, enjoying the fire, when he heard a tauntingly familiar voice.

"Whatcha got there?" "Nothing you'd be interested in, Avery." It was another of his stupid dorm mates. The more time he spent with Lily the less he like them. "Oh, I highly doubt that," the other second year sneered. He was not in his robes either, and his sidekick Mulciber was right beside him. Then, without any pretense or forewarning, he snatched the Good Book right from Severus's hand. "Give it back." He immediately stood with his wand out. "A Bible?" Avery sneered, trying his hardest to make it his ugliest. "I'm disappointed in you, Snape. How very Gryffindor. How very un-Slytherin." "Who says it's not Slytherin?" It was a weak rebuttal, but for someone not used to standing up for themselves it was the best he could do on the spur of the moment.

"I bet I know which Gryffindor is responsible for this," Mulciber put in a little too gleefully. "Oh, don't tell me you fell for all her charms." "What is that supposed to mean? It belongs to me. Give it back." But of course he knew it would not be that simple. It never was. They even laughed. "I don't think so. Lily Evans has brainwashed you, and until you admit that-" "She has nothing to do with this. Leave her out of it." He tried to sound authoritative but failed massively. The blush in his cheeks gave him away. "No, she _did_ brainwash you," maintained Avery. "You have gone soft. Come on! Don't tell me-"

He held the BIble high in the air and began backing up. By now they had the attention of everyone else in the room. "Don't tell me you believe this crap. Don't tell me you're a _Christian."_ He spat the word like it was venom. Several people laughed. "Who cares if I am?" "Don't you get it? We do. There are greater things in store for you, Snape. You know the Dark Arts better than any of us. Don't be like this. Slytherins stick together," said Mulciber, taking out his wand also. Avery tossed him the Bible, and he placed his wand against the cool leather. "This has no place here. It's time to decide whether or not you do. So tell me. Are you a Christian?"

Severus thought for a moment. He was between a rock and a hard place and had no idea what to say. Was he? No, not really. But he was trying to become one. Trying to become more like Lily. He didn't like being put on the spot like this. He wanted them to like him too- they already didn't- "Inscend-" "Incarcerous!" he cried, and Mulciber fell to his feet with the force of the ropes tightening around him. They were very thick and would probably burn. Part of Severus hoped they did. The other part of him was already regretting this. But the Bible was now mercifully lying on the floor. Avery tried to make a grab for it- "Impedimenta!" Severus yelled, watching Mulciber struggle to break his bonds out of the corner of his eye at the same time the other Slytherin was also bound, though his chains were invisible. It was terribly fun, watching them writhe there, knowing he had won this time. He quickly grabbed Avery's wand and the book before the spells wore off.

"Finite Incan-" But for the second time he could not let the incantation finish. Just as he couldn't let Lily's Bible burn he could not let his work be undone. He didn't even recognize the person he disarmed. "Expelliarmus! Accio wand!" Now he had three wands. Everyone else in the room was speechless. Those spells were much more advanced than anyone of twelve should have known, and he stared about, _daring_ them to challenge him. "We won't forget this," managed Mulciber, his ugly face widening into a smile that could not be described as anything but wicked. "Your abilities are unparalleled. The Dark Lord will have you." "Ah, yes. You would be one of his most powerful servants," Avery agreed, both of them still worming around on the floor. Severus returned their smile tenfold. "Don't patronize me. Only I can decide my future, you hear? I _hope_ you don't forget this."

"What's going on in here?" And of course it would be none other than Horace Slughorn, their Head of House. He had been fetched by a Prefect as soon as the scuffle started and was hard pressed to be torn away from his lab. But now he analyzed, gaping, the scene before him: two students held against their will and Severus standing over them tauntingly. It would not take a very dull man to deduce what had happened. "Mr. Snape! I would not have thought it of you!" He was panting. "You better have a good explanation for this! No, nevermind, I don't want to hear it. You will release them this instant and return their wands, and I will see you in detention. I am ashamed that a student from our House would- Appalled, actually. Slytherins stick together, and you have disgraced us. Therefore you have lost your House thirty-five points."

There was a collective gasp. If there was any way for him to get any more unpopular, this was it. What an ungodly amount of points. And Slughorn never took points, especially from his own House. He tried to speak but couldn't. "I had such high hopes for you, Mr. Snape." And the teacher was gone. Tail between his legs, he 'fixed' Avery and Mulciber and skulked back to their dormitory.


	25. Can't Break It

"I cannot believe it! I cannot believe that you would do something like that!" Lily was screaming. They stood outside in the main courtyard and were starting to attract an audience. So far she had him pretty flustered.

"Calm down," he tried.

"No, I will not! I could not believe my eyes when I saw how many points Slytherin had lost! You actually- that you actually used spells commonly used in _duels!"_ She spat the last word to enforce her point.

"You don't understand. They were going to burn your Bible."

"Then you should have let them!" He took a step back in self-defense. Girls could be so confusing sometimes. Why would she want that? "You should have let them!" she repeated. "But instead you stoop to their level. Honestly, how could you?"

"It would have been different if they were Gryffindor. Nobody would care then."

"Including me?" Her hands flew to her hips accusingly.

"I didn't say that."

"You wanted to. They weren't James Potter. They weren't hexing you."

"So it is different!"

"Yes. You didn't have to defend yourself. But you used such awful magic. Where did you learn such things? I've heard- How long before you start using Dark Magic?" He stared at her, dumbfounded.

"I'm not going to run off and join You-Know-Who, for pete's sake! I was reading your Bible." The day was cloudy (it was almost November, after all) and chilly, but it was downright frosty now. Her red hair was pulled back, and she blew a strand out of her hair that had escaped. She was beautiful, he thought.

Don't even talk like that. Just- don't. Please." He threw his hands up, unsure why he had elicited such a reaction.

"Okay, jeez. It's just that you seemed so eager to throw away our friendship over this whole thing." He glared at her and she glared back.

"Oh, really. You should know better. You can't ever break what we have, Sev."

"You don't mean that."

"That's plain shallow. You're the first magical person I ever met and you will always be a part of me, Severus Snape. And I do mean that." The seriousness with which she had spoken this, even while fighting with him, nearly knocked the wind out of him. It hit him full-force, and it was so evident on his face she laughed. "You brought it."

"You now me too well." With that they moved to the shade of a willow tree, their backs up against the bark. She was sure now that this was the only way to tear him from this dark path he was on, and was determined to do it. They were part of the way through Galatians when his small, jagged voice cut across hers. "Lils? If God exists, why do bad things happen at all?"

"I take that to mean you believe God exists."

"I do." Nothing- nothing could have been so heartening as that. She felt ashamed at how relieved she was. Didn't she believe in him? After how hard he was trying? She found herself biting her lip without knowing it. "I do," he repeated, whispering to himself. She smiled.

"Humans were not created evil. Adam, the first man, and Eve, his wife, lived in the Garden of Eden…" And so she related the story of Genesis 1-3. She could tell that he didn't believe the creation story, but it was far-fetched, and she refused to let this hurdle be so crippling. She wasn't going to give up so easily.

"Does God know what is going to happen in people's lives?" he asked then. This seemed easy enough.

"Obviously. He created us, didn't He?" she prodded, suspecting he was not going to let her off so easy. He rarely ever did.

"Well, if things happen like you say," he began, "Didn't he know that they were going to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil?" Well, that was a stumper. Her features actually darkened, revealing to him what dark territory he had delved into. It was moments like that which riddled him with doubts, but so far she had quelled every single one of them. If she couldn't this time, that tiny seed of faith inside him would blow away. She must have known this, for she soon schooled her expression.

"No. He knows what happens to us before we're born because He created us with a purpose, just like He created them. He created them to live in paradise and be happy. How could He have any idea they would disobey?"

"Is it really that easy to succumb to Satan? That's obviously who the serpent is. Which gives serpents a bad rap, but… it makes Eve kinda dumb. The snake told her it was okay, that God was wrong. How was she supposed to know God's always right- how can she tell the difference between right and wrong if she has no knowledge of good or evil?"

"Yes, it is that easy to be deceived by the devil. You saw, he's always like that. But she was told not to, she did it anyway. That's why it's so bad."

"Then how can anyone defeat the devil?"

"By asking God for help. Knowing the truth of the Word so that you don't fall for Satan's lies. Jesus was tempted for forty days, and was offered all the kingdoms of the world, food, and was mocked. But each time He said, 'It is written.'" Severus thought about this for a long, long minute, one that seemed to go on forever, until he answered,

"But it's Jesus. That's different."

"How?"

"Because everybody else gave _into_ temptation." Why was he always so difficult? It was like he was trying on purpose to make this as hard as possible on her.

"Yes, but He strengthens us." Of course it wasn't good enough.

"Isn't it troubling to you that Jesus left us here all alone?" Well, this one came naturally.

"He didn't. He left us with the Holy Spirit. It can't be seen, of course. But when it enters you, it lets you know what to do, or say. That's how you know. It affirms your faith. Without it, it's not real."

"That's a lot to get used to." She laughed again, and they went up to the castle. After this they read the Bible every day without fail.


	26. Home Again

"Well, what do you think?" It was the Christmas holidays, and the first time Severus was seeing his new house. Well, flat, to be precise. His mother had mentally noted that she had never seen him so happy, and this was because for some reason James Potter and his cronies had been strangely busy last semester and he spent a good chunk of time reading with Lily. Now he stepped into the space. His initial thought was that it was not so very unlike Spinner's End with its wood- panel flooring and dim, musty feel. His stomach instantly fell. Still, it was at least cozy. Empty shelves were built into the walls, which, he realized with a thrill, were meant for books. It was going to be very different. He looked at his mother and smiled.

"I like it," he said. It wasn't a complete lie; he would grow to. She returned his smile.

"How about you go see your room, huh?" There was a long hallway off of the living room, and Eileen opened the first door along it. The space was painted a fresh, cool red.

"We'll have to change that, of course. Name your color, son."

That was not a hard decision.

"Navy blue would be good."

"Colorem Caeruleum!" she shouted, and it was done. Now he could be at home here. It was small but it had a fairly large window, and (his eyes widened at this) a brand new white writing desk that was reminiscent of Lily's. His old bed was in place against the far wall, and opposite this was, to his immense satisfaction, a bookshelf.

"It's perfect," he declared. Or at least as perfect as perfect got. His mother then led him past room that would serve as both a sewing room and study. This led them to a bathroom and the master bedroom, and back around to a good-sized kitchen, which was in turn connected to the living room. For a flat it was actually rather spacey, and because Eileen had moved in two weeks ago she'd had plenty of time to make it homey before his return (though her new job at the newspaper did keep her busy, which her son did not mind at all). And Severus did like it, all except for the yellow the kitchen was done in and his mother insisted they leave.

He told Lily all about it the next day. "I just wish it were not so far away, though," she sighed. That she had to agree with. They sat in their clearing, their hideaway spot that Petunia would never find even if she went looking for it. The house was deeper in Muggle Cokeworth, which would not seem so bad but for the fact that he had to cross the river now. Prince's Manor itself was closer to London, though.

"It's not so bad," he said, smiling. She punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"Maybe I should take you to the cinema," she considered then. "I doubt you've seen a Muggle movie. Pinocchio just came out. It's a fairy tale about a puppet."

"Sounds girly," he teased her, grinning.

"And a lot of fun," she insisted. And he did enjoy it somewhat, especially, he told her afterwards, the freshly buttered popcorn. They returned laughing.


	27. Hogsmeade

The rest of the year came and went, as did the summer. Two thirteen-year-olds once more returned to Hogwarts, and were now preparing along with the rest of their peers to go into the only Wizarding village in Britain. "Did you bring your Hogsmeade permission form?" Lily asked, running up to where her best friend waited in the line where a grumpy Argus Filch was inspecting them. It was a crisp autumn day, and she had her hair braided in pigtails, a red and gold Gryffindor scarf around her neck. She was giddy.

"Of course. Did you?" She dug the paper out of her bag, as he took his from where it was folded inside of his jacket. They showed them to Filch, who let them pass but did not seem too happy about it. It was not a terribly long walk for the third years, but it was a frosty one. "Winter is going to come early," Severus remarked, brushing his long black hair out of his face. It was time he really considered a haircut.

"I can almost see my breath," Lily concurred. It was barely October.

"Wonder what they're building that shack over there for."

"Who care?" She shrugged. For her it was like walking into Diagon Alley all over again. Bustling and busy and… wonderful. It wasn't like watching people in a Muggle city, wizards and witches had a certain air about them ordinary folk just didn't have. Random things floated behind them without their noticing, and all of it just felt like… Christmas. "I love magical places," she breathed slowly, watching beer mugs nudge their respective owner inside of the Three Broomsticks.

"Ever tried Butterbeer?" Of course she shook her head, and he led her inside. They were seated and Madam Rosmerta soon took their order.

"It tastes like cream soda," Lily noted when it came.

"Yeah, it sort of does," he agreed. "It's different."

"Everything is different here."

"I don't know what you expected. You come from a different world." He frowned into his cup, as if deep in thought. It was naturally busier today, but they were fortunate enough to get a little nook in the corner. The lighting was dim, but her eyes were intense, and he could not escape their glow.

"It's not that different," she interjected. "There are a lot of similarities between Muggle and wizard."

He had to raise his eyebrows at this. "Name one."

"To start? Some of them are messy and some of them are clean. Some smart, others not. Good and evil-"

"But that just come with being human."

Here she huffed impatiently. "Exactly my point. Don't you like my parents?"

"Sure. They're nice enough, for Muggles."

"Not all Muggles are your father," she replied flatly, crossing her arms angrily. He knew she had to change his mind about this. And she wasn't getting through.

"No, but imagine what would happen if they found out about us."

"That would never happen. And even if it did, wouldn't the wizards try to enslave the Muggles?"

"Well, aren't we better than them?"

Her jaw literally dropped. "Tell me, why am I better than Petunia?"

"Because she's a jealous low life who will never get over the fact that she isn't half as smart as you and can't do magic."

Lily glared, even though she knew he was going to say this. "Magic has nothing to do with it."

"Don't kid yourself." He took a sip of his drink. She thought for a moment.

"I know. But you would still like me if I wasn't a witch, wouldn't you?" From the first moment he saw her he had noticed her magical abilities. But that was not what made him look at him to begin with.

"I can't know that," he admitted. Of course she would look abashed by this.

"Severus! Am I any different than you, because of my blood?"

"Course not."

"All the followers of You-Know-Who don't think that."

He nearly spewed out his butterbeer. "Honestly Lils, do I scare you that much?" She gave a cold laugh.

"Sometimes. I don't like it." He shot her a look, and confidence surged through her. "But you're not really like them. You have no interest in taking over the world."

"Yeah, I'd much rather have you."

"And that makes me feel better."

Now it was his turn to chuckle. They paid and left, heading to Honeyduke's for candy instead of Zonko's because they had no interest in pranks. The carriage came fast, as they were crossing the cobblestone street back over near the Hog's Head Inn. The driver apparently could not cast a statis charm in time… Casual observers would have heard Severus scream, "Lily…no!" and seen blurry, flashing red as a little girl screeching at the top of her lungs was pushed a little to the left. She fell flat on her face. The next thing you would have heard would have been the screech of tires as the vehicle tried to stop in time but didn't.

She kept shrieking, and despite the pain of her horribly scabbed knees rushed to her friend's side the next instant. Her was unconscious; the collision had knocked him full force and most of the trauma had been to his stomach, which was bleeding profusely but wheezing up and down all the same, to her immense relief. Her first thought was: how hard did he hit his head? She instinctively pressed a hand to the wound in his side, wrapping her scarf around it and hoping beyond hope she could prevent most of the blood loss.

"Somebody call a healer! God, please…" her voice trailed off because she was choking on her sobs and stroking his hair and crying as if she was gasping, sporadically and in torrents. The spectators, of course, were in a chaotic state, but one of them managed to keep their head clear and take the responsibility on themselves, wondering why it was not the driver who had acted as he was uninjured. The Healer wasted no time in getting to the scene and rushing him to St. Mungo's. She came along with them because she refused to do otherwise, even if they told her to inform their parents and their teachers and come later. To not waste her time.

But nevertheless she climbed in after him. To listen would have been to disgust herself.

The cloudy day had become even cloudier, and much, much colder. She was utterly broken.

A/N: Yes I know there are no cars in Hogsmeade. Please just deal with it for the sake of plot.


	28. St Mungo's

She had never hated St. Mungo's so much. She detested everyone there, detested how busy it was, how little attention they had given her Severus. Her father had shown up with a letter from Dumbledore offering condolences and saying that he would be by later when recovery was further along, and that he did not expect her back in Gryffindor Tower that night. Her father stayed with her in the waiting room, his lack of magical knowledge mattering nothing now. The incident seemed to have stunned her into silence; speech seemed physically impossible. How long did they wait there? Every so often she would open her mouth and let it hang there, and then pull it shut again as if she could not form the words. It seemed hours since the skilled medi-witches had begun stitching him up. She had no idea whether or not…

"He'll be okay." She looked up to see a kindly-looking Healer with dishwater blond hair smiling up at her, dressed in all pink. "For the moment, though, he's in a medically-induced, perfectly safe magical coma. I should expect him to come around soon."

"What about head trauma? It looked like he…"

"A mild concussion, no more." Pressed against his side, Mr. Evans could feel her breathe a sigh of relief. "And it is fortunate for you that we have blood-replenishing potions, or he may have died. You know, it is unusual to see Muggle-driven cars in Hogsmeade," the Healer continued. Lily blinked, clearly confused. She had not quite come to grips with how close she had been to losing Severus, and had no idea what this was meant to imply.

"What?" she sniffled, wiping snot from her nose on the hem of her sleeve. "Are you trying to tell me it wasn't an accident?"

"Not. Now," Mr. Evans shot daggers at the woman, who shrugged.

"What about broken bones?" Lily's brain was catching up with her.

"He will not be able to walk for quite a while. Even then he'll be limping." She cringed at the seemingly mundane word, imagining it, how he would make it through each day, each tiny movement in his leg a fight. It made her want to throw up. The buzzing ward became lost to her.

"He'll hate that!" she practically shouted, horrified, and she covered her mouth as if she had said something naughty. He had enough trouble at school as it was. But she was lucky, even, if he could go back to school. Normal could not exist ever again, it was laughable. Mr. Evans laid a warm hand on her shoulder. She had not realized that she was still trembling.

"It is what it is. It could be worse." And that was the only thing that kept her sane.

"Can I see him?"

"Certainly, dear," replied the medi-witch, politely refraining from mentioning (like the emergency workers had) that there was really no point, because _he_ could not see _her,_ or even talk to her. It didn't matter. She had to see with her own two eyes that he was alright. Giving her father a small, sad little wave, she let herself be guided down the wide, bleach-white hallway to a humungous oak door marked 329. She gulped, intimidated. The nurse pulled open the handle and entered, and it took all of her courage to follow. She was afraid of what she might find. Severus was propped up on multiple pillows with his eyes closed. He looked like he was sleeping. It looked, amidst the bright lights and noise and bustle of the hospital, incredibly wrong. He was also noticeably paler. An IV drip ran down his arms to the machines it was connected to. But that was all. Blankets were pulled up to his chin, masking the new stitches he had just gotten. Bruises lined his face, and she wondered if this was similar to what she would have seen after Tobias had gotten a hold of him. She would have much preferred gore.

"He looks… He looks like he's been kissed by a Dementor." Which was well enough true.

"That is what Dementors do to you," a soft voice answered. It was a ratty, thin woman in a purple blouse and long skirt, her thick, greasy, jet black hair put up in a bun. Her cheeks were stained with tears. She did not look up, and her hands were folded in a praying position. She looked, because nothing else fit, distraught.

"Hello, Mrs. Snape."

"Hello, child. I am glad you are well." What could she say to something as unselfish as that? Was that really something to be grateful for? The seconds lasted for hours and dripped with heaviness. Time was laced with melancholy.

"I'm so sorry for all of this. It must be very hard for you."

The woman nodded, but did not move. "He is my only son."

And that, _that_ was what broke Lily. "I'm sorry," she said again. "It was all my fault. He was pushing me out of the way. If it weren't for me it never would have happened." How easy it was to cast blame Mrs. Snape if she got upset with her, started yelling, asked her to leave. Lily closed her eyes, the tears still falling. Then none of those things happened.

"He must care a great deal for you." Her eyes fluttered open, mostly from shock, though in hindsight everything was so surreal nothing was astonishing. And she knew, deep, deep down inside her, that it was true.

"It's like a bad dream, she conceded, and saw the thin figure nod in silent understanding. For the first time she knew what it truly meant to be alone with someone.

"A mother's worst nightmare." She got a little annoyed with Severus then, for not waking them all up and telling them he was okay that it was a dream, a joke.

"It's like he is not there," Eileen confessed, and it must have cost her to say it- _what if he really wasn't-_ thought they each felt the same.

"I know. " It was enough.

"He talks so often of you. I've heard so much, Miss Evans. But now he also talks of God. He says that you introduced them." She then did the last possible thing she ever thought she'd do in this room. She smiled.

"I am so glad," Lily whispered. "To me that is worth everything." Was it just her imagination or did Mrs. Snape discreetly return her smile?

"I mention this solely because he would want you to continue in your faith, no matter what happens." Mrs. Snape took a step closer. She really was very frail, and it was in this moment she resembled Severus the very most. He dim eyes seemed vibrant, as if they wsere set on fire. Uneasiness rippled through the young girl in waves.

"Maybe- maybe I've never really understood him. Or tried to."

Eileen's confusion could have sliced the air. "What do you mean?"

"He asks all these questions about why bad things happen. I ddin't get it. There's a reason for everything, right?"

Her tone betrayed her. She was mocking herself.

"It is impossible to, unless you have lived it. Don't be so hard on yourself, dear." Lily almost scoffed. Much easier said than done.

"I just wish- I just wish that bad things didn't keep happening to him." The answer did not really surprise her.

"Ah, Lily, we both do." So that was it. It was an apology- and quite a genuine one- for all she had put him through. The sadness in her expression was almost too much to bear.

"He loves you, you know that?" Lily said. All children love their mothers."

"And I him. If only it were not too late." Here she caught sight of the redhead's bloody knees. It would be a wonder if they didn't scar.

"You are hurt." She gave a serious frown.

"No, I'm fine, really." Lily tried to back away, to escape- had she meant it about be9ing too late?- but it was no use.

"Let me help you." And so she froze in place, frightened for- well, she didn't even know. Frightened of what this day had become, perhaps. It was only a healing spell, after all. "Scourgify!" Mrs. Snape cried, her precision not hindered by all the time she had not used a wand. The cuts, and the pain, then it would match how she felt on the inside.

But "Thank you" was all she managed in a small voice that could not be her own. Everything came rushing back to her when she saw Eileen was going to start crying again, and that she was staring at her. Anything to avoid looking at the little boy in the bed, that resembled a corpse a little too closely. They needed each other, and each realized it. For the first time Lily realized that she didn't just care about Severus. She loved him, but she wished she had not. She wished, in that moment, that she had never met him. Then he would not be here, and she would not be hurt. Finally she was brave enough to look his mother in her wild eyes.

They were deathly serious. "I want you to know that you will always, always be a part of our family, Lily." And she meant that. Now the girl's face was wet too. They were the same. They loved him. Later they were unsure which happened first: Mrs. Snape opening her arms, or Lily flying into them, but they stayed like that for hours and hours, an eternity. She wanted- and didn't want- for it to last.

A/N: I am so sorry this took so long, I have been having horrible computer issues (yuck).


	29. Next

It was two days before she went to Hogwarts. There were whispers, of course, about the two best friends who had disappeared. Some knew what happened and some didn't, but the rumors spread regardless, and they swarmed around Lily like bees she could not swat always. She took to walking with her head down, her mind in another place anyway. She was in a trance. But it didn't stop people from noticing her. Especially- now that a certain Slytherin was out of the picture- James bloody Potter.

"Alright, Evans?" he sneered one day, as she hurried down the hallway.

"Yes, thank you. Now if you would just-"

"Sod off, Potter," Alice finished for her, their arms locked together. He managed to look mildly affronted.

"Now's not the time, okay?"

"What did I do?" he asked. Lily looked like she didn't even realize what was going on. Her face was blank and expressionless. Mary turned to him, looking angry.

"You're obviously an insensitive little prick. She's upset about Severus, clearly, and if you weren't such an oaf I wouldn't have to spell it out for you." This was clearly not what he had been expecting.

"About Snivellus?" He was incredulous. "Why in the world would she make a fuss about _him?_ If there was one way to get Lily to blow a fuse, that was it. In one swift move she turned around, stalked over to him, and punched him in his nose. _Hard._ So hard he started bleeding, but she didn't care. Her face was now as red with rage as a stewing pot of spaghetti.

"How dare you! How _dare_ you talk about my best friend like that! He is ten time what you will ever be, you spoilt, selfish, arrogant pig!" The words registered on his face as well as hers, him clutching his bloody nose. Honestly, she had been forceful enough to break bone.

"Okay, I'm sorry! Jeez, I didn't mean to offend you." She almost laughed.

"Well, you should have thought about that before you did. And go ahead and tell those goony friends who did that to you."

Whipping her hair for dramatic effect, she once more turned her back on him, and Mary and Alice did the same, but not before they heard a sixth year mutter an "Episky," and Potter yelped and said something to the effect of, "Don't know why she's friends with that slimy Slytherin. Greasy git."

"Come on, Lily," encouraged her dorm mates, leading her outside. Fresh air seemed the best idea at the moment. It was a pretty day, but that would not do much to help Lily. She knew her best friend would enjoy a day like this. The lake shimmered in the sun, and with the castle looming in the background, it was quite a heavenly pictured. They opened their books to try and study, neither of the other girls really wanting to cross Lily, when she spotted a very familiar shadow across the grounds.

"I'll be back," she promised, prancing away to meet the welcoming figure, a woman in a sunflower dress which didn't suit her at all.

"How is-"

"Awake." Mrs. Snape smiled (which Lily thought she should do more often). "He asked to see you. The Headmaster has already been by, and gave you permission to leave school. Your mother is already there, but of course she could not fetch you from Hogwarts." No. Besides Filch, it was doubtful any Muggles had ever set foot on the property- and he didn't really count, being a Squib. She was glad her mother was there with Severus, though. It would be awful if her were left all alone for her sake.

"And- how will we be travelling?" she asked as politely as possible.

"Apparition. You'll need to stay close to me. The ride will be a bit bumpy." Lily decided that the wizard and Muggle definitions of "a bit bumpy" were not quite the same. She nearly threw up, but fortunately had foregone lunch. Somehow the hospital seemed even more ominous than before, even though it was the exact same oak door. Mrs. Snape pushed her in and beckoned to Mrs. Evans, who rose and left with her, closing the door behind them.

"Hi, Sev," she said softly, as if talking to an injured animals. He looked exhausted. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." She left it at that.

"My Mom wasn't boring you, was she?" Gaining confidence, she stepped further into the room.

"No, you were right, she's pretty awesome." Lily gave a light-hearted laugh at that, wondering why it all had to go so wrong. It was only a trip to Hogsmeade! Why did his father have to be Tobias Snape? Why couldn't he be happy? She had to think of something quickly to distract herself.

"I still have some jelly beans left over from Easter. Want to help me eat them?" Not waiting for the nod that came in answer, she produced the bag from her coat and sat on the end of the bed. "Don't worry. They're not anything like Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. There's only regular flavors like lemon and grape and cherry." He selected a red one, and after he declared that he did indeed like them, they began binging heartily.

The visit was altogether very pleasant. She came again the next day, of course. And the next. There was plenty of work to catch up on. He charmed all sort of enchanted objects to prepare for Transfiguration and memorized loads of stuff for Charms. She had all sorts of questions about potions, but none that he could not answer. He was significantly grumpier being under the watchful eye of the nurses, but she always made him feel better. They talked about literally everything under the moon, and it even took away some of the dismal thoughts rolling thought his head- about crutches and physical therapy, and the enormous pain in his right leg (which had been crushed by the car). It was all a blur, what had happened, really. But when he closed his eyes it was not his own scream he heard, which robbed his breath from him and gave him cold sweats.

It was sweet Lily's.

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day, all you marvelous people! I hope I was not too harsh on Potter, but Lily is emotionally disturbed (and I might have enjoyed that just a teeny bit). Hope you all keep reading! Side note, do you think any Muggles have been to Hogwarts?


	30. Physical Therapy

It was an entire week before Severus Snape was released from the hospital, mostly because St. Mungo's wanted to monitor him and his heart rate to be sure there really were no long-lasting consequences. After the end of the week, a physical therapist came to this flat and showed him what exercises to do. He detested it, because he felt like he had no control over what was happening. "Bring it up-"

And she insisted on touching him. All the time. Now she took the offending leg, as he lay on his own dusty sheets and brought it- knee bended- so that it was over his flat chest. She then ignored his yelps of pain.

"And over. Now extend it all the way." He actually hissed it didn't seem to be helping, but instead making it, worse. Besides the fracture- not even a clean break- the muscle tissue was damaged, but reparable at the very least. And it was hard for him to find many at leasts. She had him repeat this movement ten times. Then. To call it a workout would be an understatement. It was jut the beginning. Every day this continued, and it was agonizing. Lily seemed to understand that he did not want to be seen in such a weakened state, admirabley refusing to stop by for these sessions, which lasted from two to three in the afternoon. But she was present when he got out of bed for the first time sense the accident.

"Up, up," his mother commanded. "You must use those muscles." Despite his groaning, she took his hand and led him, shuffling like an old man, across the room to where Lily stood. It about broke her heart, to see him struggling he used to do so easily. Eventually Eileen stopped and let go of his hand, and he lost his balance and fell right into Lily's arms. Without a mocking word she righted him, and he imagined Potter having a field day if he ever found out about this. It was so embarrassing, even though he knew she would never tell anyone or make fun of him for it.

"What did I do to deserve a best friend like you?" _Woah._ Where had that come from? It sounded so petty and needy, and he instantly wished he could take it back. How was she going to react to something like that? But when he dared to look at her she was smiling.

"I ask myself the same question." That- now that he couldn't believe. Holding his hadn't, they began to make laps around the bedroom. Mrs. Snape had mysteriously disappeared.

"You were right, you know. About Muggles."

"What changed your mind?" his weight, she considered, was not asw much as it should be, as she supported him. Much too light.

"Well, I think your Mom and Dad are pretty awesome. They accept magic. And that's the only problem I had with Muggles."

"Well, I'm glad you figured it out." And the truth, he realized, even if you would be hard-pressed to get him to admit it, was that he would have saved her anyway. Because the truth was it did not matter.


	31. Desire

"Well, pretty little Mudblood, I must say that did not go as planned." His nose was almost pressed to her strawberry hair, inhaling the scent of her, and his voice was close and sharp. Her heart pounded in her ears.

"What?" she asked, somewhat stupidly. It was the Great Hall during breakfast. He could not actually hurt her, she reminded herself. But Avery was so like a predator, standing there over the Gryffindor's table.

"That… little… accident…" he was careful to enunciate every word, "Was staged for you, not him."

"What!" she screamed. Everyone turned to look. He grinned malignantly. "You mean to say you actually-"

"Shh, Mudblood. You can't tell anyone. They would never believe you without any evidence." This was very much true, she realized with a thrill. And it explained why he didn't mind telling her in a crowd. She could say nothing.

"Yes, they would, I'll-"

"You'll keep your mouth shut, Gryffin," he said hotly, growing impatient and knowing her threats were empty. "You're standing in my way. His way. I can't believe Snape even talks to someone of your filthy background. He's going to be great someday, an excellent addition to our merry gang of Death Eaters. The darkness is where he belongs. I won't have any of your Christian nonsense." But Lily could play the game too, and she was not about to hide her anger.

"Death Eater?" she snarled. "He has so much light in him, more than you will ever have. And I feel so sorry for you because of that. But getting rid of me won't change it." People all around them were milling about, finishing up. It was a large space, and very loud. But she heard none of it for the ice creeping through her veins like spiders crawling all over her skin.

"It will. And we will get you when you least expect it."

"Did you just threaten her?" Oh, he was mad. He stood with his arms crossed and his eyebrow arched, lengthy black hair framing his face in curtains as usual. Sev. She was smiling now. His fingers were already on the tip of his wand.

"She didn't mean that, did she?" Avery sneered. Lily stood, almost passed reason. He smirked. "You, light? Tell me she's joking. Why do you even associate with such filth?" Such words could not bother her when she'd heard them so often before. But she was curious.

"She's not joking. How _dare_ you. How dare you and your minions try and hurt her. Let's get the record straight. I won't have anything to do with anyone who trys to kill Lily. Not you, and certainly not the Dark Lord. If you're her enemy you're mine. And stay away from her, if you know what's good for you. Or I _will_ curse you." Avery actually laughed, long and cackling.

"Are you threatening me, Snape? That's hilarious." Severus's face was stony. He pointed his wand at the other Slytherin.

"Yes, I suppose I am. Don't mess with me." He said the hex, an incantation that made your toenails grow to an undetermined length. Avery's expression was priceless, and Snape's was a look of triumph. There were now holes in the former's sneakers, so that everyone knew quite clearly what had happened. They started laughing. It was as if the Great Hall had erupted. "I can do worse than that. Don't try me. I still haven't actually cursed you, but I will. Stay the hell away from Lily."

"Like you could really stop me. Don't give up so easily. I know the Dark Lord won't."

"Come on, Lily," Severus said, taking her hand and shooting daggers at someone he now saw as a threat, who was muttering spells to try and counteract his rapid toenail growth as he walked away. The corridors were still empty, and now, _now_ when he did not fell so vulnerable his limp was at its most severe. Knowing that he did not want people to see her helping him, she did the best she could slow her pace.

"I didn't know you were coming back so soon."

"Surprise." For all it was worth he did not sound very happy.

"Please don't tell me you're going to do something stupid and end what we have over this." She gave her most severe frown, which at any other time would have bothered him. It didn't now.

"It's not stupid. It's for your safety."

"Oh, Sev, please-"

"Don't give me that. Don't you see? It'll only get worse. It's worth it to have you safe." This made her want to cry. But instead of doing that, she showed him how she felt about him, that she loved him. She kissed him. Both of them had stopped walking. It was warm and gooey and reminded her of marshmellows and she liked it. It felt like floating on a cloud.

"Does that change your mind?" she asked, when they had broken apart. He did not look at her.

"No," he said flatly. This nearly broke her. There was a stabbing sensation in her heart.

"Severus," she tried again. "Severus, I love you."

"I love you too. That is why I must do this." He turned to go in the opposite direction, despite the shooting pain ricocheting in his hip.

"I didn't like how it felt." She quickly caught up with him. "Almost losing you."

"No. That split second where I thought you were going to get hit was the scariest moment of my life." She was shocked that he was talking about it.

"I never said thank you. For saving me."

"Funny way to repay me, putting yourself in danger."

"How could you? Oh, how could you? Why are you doing this to me?"

"For your own good. Because I love you."

"Oh!" But her little humph of surprise came too late. He was already on the move again, and even passed into an empty classroom and shut the door behind him. She quickly was on his heels.

"Severus, what…" But the classroom was not exactly empty. There stood a gorgeous floor-length mirror with a frame the color of the midnight sky with a bit of Latin writing at the top she couldn't decipher. That was not the strangest part, however. He was gawking at it as if he had never seen his very own reflection before, his jaw hanging open. Which was just ridiculous. His face was white as if he could not believe what he was seeing. She was about to open her mouth to ask what he found so interesting when he saved her the trouble of speaking first.

"Look in this mirror and tell me what you see." He stepped aside, and she took his place in front of the glass. She opened her mouth to tell him that she already knew what she would see, but shut it again when she saw that she was completely wrong. It was not her own form staring back at her like it should have been, but the form of a boy with obsidian eyes, a hooked nose, and skin that was a bit too oily. It was the form of Severus Snape, looking perfectly tranquil and carefree the way he only was around her, when he forgot his worries and was just… happy. It was how she wished he could be all the time. The image had quite literally taken her breath away, knocked the wind out of her. It was a while before she was able to tear herself away and look at the real Severus Snape, the one with the bags under his eyes and an injured leg. In that instant. She knew she would not change him for the world.

"What do _you_ see?" she asked in turn. Her throat felt dry. She did not quite know how she managed it. He did not meet her gaze when he answered.

"You." It was barely a whisper. Her heart had not stopped pounding like a drum. He could still see it clearly, he hair flowing out behind her like a cape as she danced in a field of snowy white narcissus flowers, the kind that only grew in June. It was their hideout in the clearing, he was certain.

"Ah, then you are very lucky, Mr. Snape. Many men would die for what this mirror shows them. Few already have it." It was, naturally, none other than Albus Dumbledore. Considering how transfixed they were, he should have scared them out of their wits. Oddly enough, they were not surprised to see him at all. Dumbledore had a habit of turning up in strange places, right when you needed him most.

"What is it showing me?" Severus asked timidly, as the Headmaster stepped further into the room.

"I'm glad you asked, my boy. Many people don't. They forget that what the Mirror of Erised shows them is not real at all. They are the ones who waste away before it. It has been here for eons. It shows you only the deepest desire of your heart, nothing more and nothing less."

At this Lily moved next to him and squeezed his hand, sending a shiver down her spine. "Sir, we were confronted today by a group of Slytherins trying to recruit Severus as a Death Eater. They tried to hurt me…" Her voice trailed off It was almost filled with tears. "But they hurt Sev! He could have died!" And now ears were running down her cheeks.

"There is no need to fret, Miss Evans. As it happens I know what happened in the Great Hall. We are investigating it." That would have to be enough for now. There was still no proof, but at least Dumbledore knew about it. He turned to go. "Do not ever take for granted what the two of you have," he admonished. Then he was gone.

"I wonder what he see in the mirror," Severus ventured, a crooked smile resulting.

"I see you," she told him matter-of-factly, so he wouldn't doubt it. "I meant it when I said I loved you."

"So did I. " She leaned in and kissed him once more.

A/N: I hope that was alright, I did try ): Debated having Severus use Secumsempra on Avery...


	32. Future

"And your homework assignment will be thirty inches of parchment. Mr. Snape, please come see me." As the rest of the class filed out, groaning about their essay on how lacewing flies react with different ingredients, an anxious fifth year made his way to Slughorn's desk. His best friend flashed him a smile and turned to leave with the others.

"Yes, sir?" Severus asked, knowing he had done nothing to get in trouble but nervious all the same.

"Do you enjoy brewing potions?" the sixteen-year- old nodded eagerly.

"Yes, sir. It relaxes me." Severus was, of course, a member of the Slug Club, most of whom were sixth years, because despite being unlikeable the truth was he was more skilled than any of them. He supposed he knew where this talk was going. With O. coming up all the Heads of Houses were talking with their students about their futures. McGonagall had already gotten to Lily.

"Your work in my class is quite impressive. Dare I say, you are one of the most talented potions brewers I have ever had the honor of teaching."

This made the young boy blush. "Thank you, sir."

"It is true that most people with your potential do not realize they have it. I can see a real career for you in this field, should you choose to pursue it. What _do_ you plan on doing after leaving Hogwarts?"

This hit hard. What could he do? Was he really as good as Slughorn said? _Could_ he have a job related to potions? He'd meant it when he said he enjoyed it. But he'd never really thought about it. "Anything I can do," he answered. "What does potions open up for me?"

"Much indeed. I know of several apprenticeships open, which would be an amazing opportunity for you- learning from the masters. They are the best in the field." Now the anxious pupil had wide eyes. It was an interesting prospect. Going out into the world- wasn't that what he had always dreamed of doing? Making more of himself, becoming everything he wanted to be? It made him nervous and excited at the same time. "That was mean, of course, that you would reside in you host's home, under their tutelage and private instruction, for at least three years, at their expense. Would you be comfortable with that?"

"I suppose I would have to be, sir." He would cross that bridge when he came to it.

"Then you should be on the right track. You need an 'Outstanding' on you Potions and Herbology O. , but that should be no trouble. I have full confidence in you. You'll also need 'Exceeds Expectations' in everything else. This creates a good many career paths for you. Hospitals need medicine, and potions masters provide it for them, as well as many of society's other needs on an individual basis. It doesn't sound very exciting, but it is an innovative science and their work is integral." No. It did not seem in any way important. But… it was. It was a way to help people. And he remembered how content he was doing it. Perhaps- perhaps it didn't matter. That meant something.

"Thank you, sir."


	33. Homecoming

That three years was an incredibly long time, for both Severus and Lily. Though both were busy, it seemed an eternity. Because of his newfound relationship with God and his new opinion of Muggles and Muggle-borns, a certain word was never uttered at the end of fifth year. She was waiting for him on the day of his return, at his house. His mother was working late, and when he came through the door she was alone. She was wearing a short-sleeve gray business dress, beige panty hose and black high heels , vibrant hair tumbling down her back in ripples and clipped in the middle.

"My, my, Lily Evans, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

"Sev!" And she threw her arms around him. He was twenty now, as was she, and he still had oily hair and still had two inches on her. But his voice was deeper, and he was aclad in a all-black. But his voice was deeper, and he was clad in an all-black suit and matching cloak. He kissed her, and all was right with the universe.

"You haven't changed a bit. As beautiful as ever."

"I'm so glad to see you. I have something for you." It was a bottle of red wine on the coffee table. He laughed. She helped him slide his cloak off and the two of them sat down on the couch together. She poured the glasses. "tell me about Ireland. I want to hear everything. You've been gone an eternity."

"No, but it does feel that way, doesn't it? It's such a gorgeous country. But I missed her. But I missed home."

"And me."

"And you." Even _if_ they had written at least once a week (by Muggle mail, because the journey was too long for an owl).

"But did you learn a lot?"

"Of course. That was the most amazing part. My master did a lot of work for the people in his village, so I got a pretty good taste of it. And you. You're a medi-witch." It was true. She had studied vigorously, her high aspirations reaching the clouds. She was one of those people who could achieve anything she put her mind to, and she liked helping people.

"Yes. Right now St. Mungo's is still training me."

"Did I tell you they offered me a job?" She had taken a long sip of the wine and nearly spit it out at this. "They've even offered up one of their labs."

"Oh, Sev, that's so brilliant! We'll be in the same building. And here I thought I was the only reason you came back," she chuckled.

"You're the reason I accepted the position." Now _he_ took another sip, not looking at her.

"I never told you why I became a medi-witch." That was enough to stun her, opal eyes borring into shimmering green. His face was blank and expressive at the same time; he was curious of the answer, yet just purely happy to be home, with her. He was handsome, she thought, in his own special way. She adored him. "Because medi-witches saved your life. They save people, and I love that."

"One of the many things I love about you." He brushed a steady hands over her pale cheek, and smiled.

"Whatever happened to all the books you used to have on dark magic?" He had changed so much, but she still wanted to know.

"I burned them. After they tried to hurt you. I hate what they did to other students, too." She hugged him yet again, relieved that eh had gotten through that. She had never really doubted since he told them off that he would see through their manipulative ways, but they had seemed determined.

"Have they stopped trying to recruit you?" He wrinkled his nose at this. Recruit was a fierce word, but it was, he realized, accurate.

"For the moment. They'll be back, but I can handle them. Show them we mean business."

"They're not going to try anything again, are they?"

He considered this serious for a moment. "No. Last time it backfired. They're too cowardly, anyway. I can handle them, Lily," he repeated.

"Was it enough? To scare them away?" She knew Sev was a powerful wizard , but they had tried to kill her just to get him to join the Death Eaters. They were relentless. And, needless to say did some pretty awful things. The would go to any lengths to get what they wanted .

"No," he breathed. "I don't think so. I don't want you leaving the house or walking the streets without me, alright? I know it might sound paranoid, but it's only for awhile. Until we know…"

She kissed him on the cheek. "It doesn't sound paranoid, it sounds protective. But let's talk about something else less gloomy. You just got home." She had a valid point. But he had to make sure she knew how serious this was.

"Promise me, Lily. I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't know what they'll do, but if they do act it will be extreme."

"Okay, okay, I promise. You're scaring me now. I am glad you stopped fibbing to make me feel better. Did your Mom get upset when you burned. She could care less." The empty places on all of the bookshelves surrounding the wall was painfully obvious, she thought, but she let it drop with the knowledge that he was probably right, anyway. "Did you bring it?" she asked in a hushed voice, eyes darting to the right and left as if watching to see if they were being overhead- which of course they weren't.

"Lils, are you… embarrassed to talk about this?" His eyebrows were raised but he was smiling, and she swatted him playfully on the arm.

"Don't be stupid."

He pulled out his wand and said, "Accio Bible!" From where it was parked by the door the suitcase unzipped itself and the Bible flew into his hand.

"I'm glad you kept the faith while we were apart." She had not meant to say it, because it implied she lacked confidence in him, and she really didn't. "Not that I'd expect anything less," she added.

"How did you keep the faith? After my accident?" She had often wondered herself. It was the worst thing she'd ever gone through, and she should have felt abandoned by God. But she hadn't. It was unexplainable.

"He had never let me down before, so I had to believe it wasn't going to be this time. And- you Mom told me you would not want me to lose faith." Her voice grew soft, and he kissed her forehead.


	34. Summer Day

"Why did you bring me here, Sev? To the place where we first met?" He had told her they were going on an adventure , but that had been the extent of it. She could not keep her surprise from her tone. They had not been here sense they were children, sense before Hogwarts, even, as during the summers they had frequented their hideaway in the clearing instead. It seemed a million years ago now, and she felt a pang in her stomach.

"Old times' sake, I guess," Sev said rather indifferently, leading her to a rooked swing and helping her into it.

"It's still sturdy," she laughed, and he moved behind nad started pushing her. Lily was wearing an old pair of kids and blue jeans, in contrast to his slacks and dress shirt. He'd gone to St. Mungo's for his official interview that morning, and his prospects were well. In a good mood, he'd just wanted to walk with his best friend really. "I still remember that day," she reminisced, and he smiled. This was why he had brought her here. "You were such an awkward little boy. You called me a witch, and-" But she could not finish for lack of breath. He was pushing her higher and higher and higher- she shrieked as she jumped, and was laughing when she landed some feet away… just as she did ten years ago, to Petunia's horror. She turned to Severus, who had a very smug look on his face. "That wasn't funny!" she said, running back to him.

"Yes, it was. Come on, you're laughing." This was very much true. She could not seem to help herself.

"I love this place," she confessed. "It's where I first did magic. Where I found you." And the next moment seemed to freeze time. She told him later she thought it was all a dream, and he assured her it very much wasn't . She did not even feel the breeze as it blew by. She just gasped. He had pulled something form his pocket and gotten down on one knee. This took her breath away far more than flying from the swing.

"Lily, the truth is that I cannot live without you. That has always been true. I know I don't deserve you. You are the most wonderful person I know. Your heart is pure and good; you taught me what love is. For that I will always be grateful to you. I will love you forever and always and nothing can change that. But what I want above all is your happiness, and so I understand if you say no. I cannot express in human words how much your friendship has meant to me. You've made me who I am. We've been through a lot together, as partners, and I hope we can continue to be partners in life no matter what happens. Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

For a moment she said nothing. He hands were clasped to her mouth in shock, and her eyes were closed. The sun was beating down on them, and his heart was quickly filling with dread. He should have known better than to do it here. Anyone could have told him that. He should have taken her out for a nice, romantic dinner, and done the whole thing properly. Not a child's ;park. Not here. There was no sound save for the wind in the trees, which was excruciating in itself before he realized that she was sobbing actually sobbing. This was like a stab wound. "Don't cry, Lily," he tried, clearly injured. Finally, _finally_ she wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffled. It seemed an agonizingly long wait.

"You're wrong," she managed. "You're wrong, Sev. It is I who don't deserve you." And with that she took the hand not holding the case for the diamond ring, pulled him up, and wrapped herself around him. He had stunned her. She had hoped for this forever, and it was a million times better than her wildest dreams. She knew why, too. Whenever she imagined it, it was somebody she hadn't met yet, a stranger. And the truth was much more real. "There is no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with than my best friend. Yes, Severus Snape, I will marry you."

Then he did something that she remembered for the rest of her life. He screamed, "Hallelujah!" and spun her around in the air so that she squealed like a little girl, which he had never done before, at least three times. When he set her down he brought her close and kissed her, and also managed to slip the diamond ring on her finger. It was not big, but she did not like gaudy things, and thought it exquisite- especially the way it glittered in the sunlight. It fit her perfectly. She giggled uncontrollably.

"And for the record, I've never been happier," she said, studying him seriously. "I don't tell you enough how amazing you are. You are sweet and sensitive and gentle, not to mention smart and strong-willed, and you are the love of my life. I'm the luckiest girl in the whole entire world. I am so, so glad that I have you." And she meant it. She was not perfect, and it mattered not that he was not perfect either. They suited each other. She was positively giddy. "Does it seem a long time ago to you? Since we met here?" She took his hand in hers, as much to steady herself as him, and tried to savor all this, how she felt in this exact moment. She didn't want to ever forget any of it. Not the birds singing, or the look on his face. She had literally no idea what his answer would be, and wanted to know.

"No, not especially," he replied, and she knew him well enough to know he was in one of his reflective moods, because his tranquility was contagious. It spread with a warming effect through her blood that spent a shiver down her spine. This was the Severus she had seen in the Mirror of Erised. He was completely at peace with himself; and the rest of the world. He was _happy._ Now if she could only do something about the ridiculous idea that she would not be happy with him. _I want above all your happiness._ God, how much she loved had ever met, and he was prickly but charming, and didn't even know it (which of course added to his charm immensely). He was a quick thinker and in every way they clashed they were compatible with one another. They were something like fire and ice, and could not be more perfect for each other.

"You chose the perfect place." Her dreams were real.


	35. Dinner

"I do thank you for staying, Petunia," Mrs. Evans said. The four of them sat around the table over chicken salad, the old dining room table that had been passed down for generations. A gold chandelier provided the only light.

"Only because I bring important news, Mother." She had of course left the first chance she got, and gone away to school. Resentful and jealous of Lily, she had tried to become as least like her as possible. "Vernon proposed." Flipping a strand of stringy, mud-colored hair behind her shoulder, she stuck out her boney left hand to reveal the glittering bauble it held. "We're getting married."

"I'm so happy for you," Lily said, and she was. That was the worst part. Her parents, for one, looked very shocked.

"Really, he has not yet come to me like Severus did," their father put in disapprovingly. He was an old fashioned man with the old fashioned views that more often than not matched those of the wizarding world. Of course he had asked for his daughter's hand in marriage, and wouldn't have dreamt of doing otherwise, but it was more than Vernon Dursley would ever do. And Mr. Evans did not like that.

"He came to you?" This pleased Lily too. He had taken her family's opinion into consideration. It meant the world to her.

"Yes, I gave him my blessing."

"Oh, who cares what that wacky boy has or hasn't done." Her sister's face fell, but Petunia only seemed to reveal in it with a glee that only outdoing the perfect witch could make her fell. She wanted this conversation to be about her. "My Vernon certainly doesn't have to live up to any Snape. He's perfectly normal I love that about him." Lily's cheeks were burning now. Her hair was braided in a single band that wrapped all the way around her head like a ring of fire, which perfectly described her temper when it was ignited.

"Well, congratulations, dear," Mrs. Evans said bitingly, eating a bite of chicken and trying to move the conversation.

"And he's plenty of money, which is more than Severus can ever say. At least he can take good care of me. He's well-off-"

"So you'll never have to work another day in your life," finished Lily, disgust etched in her voice. She was bitter now.

"Better than slaving away as some- what are you?"

"A nurse. I save people."

"Right. And what does Severus do?" Petunia looked smug, like she'd already won.

"This is not a competition to see which of us has the better groom. You are so shallow sometimes. Did you come back just to mock me? Show me up?"

"Enough, girls," chided Mrs. Evans. "Eat your dinner."

"Petunia, I assure you that Severus is perfectly capable of taking care of Lily. As I understand it, he makes complicated medicines for the wizard hospital, and is a pioneer in his craft, ever writing for several potions magazines that I understand are quite exclusive," Mr. Evans added, and his wife put her head in her hands. It was easy to see where the youngest got her spunk from. The problem was that neither of them knew where to stop.

"Great, so he's a pharmacist," sneered Petunia. Now Lily stood, with two of her hands still on the table.

"He's paid quite well for it to. I do not care how perfect and wonderful Vernon Dursley is. It does not give you any right to make fun of my fiancé. You are petty and downright mean, and selfish to boot, and if he is anything like you then you two deserve each other." Having succeeded in stunning her parents into silence, she retook her seat. "Please pass the dressing," she tried icily, but her sister just ignored her.

"Little witch get everything she wanted, did she?" Petunia had nothing to say to this, because the true answer was one that came from her subconscious. She wanted Lily to stop being everything she was. Beautiful, intelligent… magical. Everything _she_ was not.

"I cannot change who I am. We are still sisters and it is time we made peace, regardless of what you think of Severus. I know he is not perfect, and neither am I. But if he can accept me with al of my flaws, and I can accept him with his, why cannot you accept me?" The entire family seemed to hold their breath. What time the girls had spent in the housie together they had avoided each other. Their rivalry had been brewing for almost a decade. Now their lives were truly separate- there were not even the summer holidays anymore.

"You're not invited to my wedding. Vernon does not even know that I have a sister." Lily's gasp was filled with pain, and the expression on her face reflected this, but more than that, anger. It did not matter if it had been coming. It was a blow all the same, and it hurt, as if she had been struck. Finally she managed to find her voice again. She knew in her heart what she had to do.

"That does not matter. You are still invited to mine. Whether or not you come is not my business. This has gone on long enough, Petunia, this war of ours. I grow tired of it. I call of truce. You are obviously not heartless."

Here the elder one scooted back her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "I have no interest in attending that freak show. If you want to spend the rest of your days with that low-life so be it. You're right, it's none of my business. But I hope you know what you're getting into. He has nothing to offer you, Lily. No money. No land. No title. No power. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you are so much… _better_ than him. He has nothing to give you. He has nothing, and you will have nothing," she repeated. Here Lily stood once more, vehemence in every one of her features.

"We will have each other and that will always be enough for us. I feel so sorry for you. I found my prince Charming and I hope you found yours. But if you are- if you only came to gloat I am leaving. And if I never see you again it will be too soon."

With that she bound up the stairs. Their parents were crying. They had lost bother their daughters, in more ways than one.

A/N: Is it just me, or do you agree that the Evans parents would really like their future son-in-law? (And I clearly don't mean Vernon).


	36. The Princes Again

"You look enchanting, Miss Evans," Severus said politely. He stood at the Evans front door, and she smiled at him. She wore a flowing pale pink ball gown with skirts that swished and fabric that rustled when she moved. It matched her skin type perfectly. Her slippers were the color of spun straw, and her hair was done in thick waves over one shoulder but braided in a bun at the back of her head. She looked like a pristine gem- but then again, she always had.

"Thank you, good sir." He offered his arm to the fair lady, and she took it. They were off to a party, a grand celebration thrown in their honor, and the Princes had put it all together. Ordinarily they would not be pleased that he was marrying someone of her low blood status, but after his accident knew there was no convincing him otherwise. There were more important things. They had even taken kindly to his new ideas on Muggles and Christianity (for a Dark family it had not turn out many Death Eaters).

"Take care of my baby," Mr. Evans admonished sternly. She waved a gloved hand at him.

"Bye, Daddy," she returned.

"I will, Mr. Evans."

"I know, son." The couple turned to enter the carriage that awaited them. (Doing it the Muggle way got less attention, as she pointed out). It was a crystal night and an altogether pleasant ride.

"Ah, there they are," Eileen greeted them, wearing a long and voluminous purple dress. The party was already in full swing. Then she leaned in so that only they could hear her. "Thank you for making my boy so happy, and for joining our family, Lily, deal."

"Mother," Severus tried carefully, but Mrs. Snape just patted the girl's hand and moved on. "May I have this dance, my lady?" He kissed her gloved hand, and she blushed and giggled.

"You may." He lead her out to the floor, where they began to sway gracefully to the music. It was Mozart's Requiem in D. The manor was done up spectacularly; it had been cleaned from top to bottom and the furniture moved aside, turning the spacious foyer into a magnificent ballroom. The lighting was dim and romantic. "So I was thinking, Orchids for the wedding," she said after a moment. In reality she knew he could care less about floral decisions, but still.

"The field where we always meet is covered in narcissus," he objected, because, all things considered, that was what was important to him. She sighed.

"We can have both. They don't really fit, but that's what I like about it. It's… odd."

"The first of many compromises, I'm sure." They swung as the song changed.

"How are things at your end of St. Mungo's?" he asked then.

"Fine. Why?"

"I was just hoping you like helping people as much as you thought you would. You deserve to be happy." He twirled her around. They were speaking in low voices, as if they did not want to be overheard.

"Sev, I am happy." She gave him a stern look. All those years and she still had not fixed his confidence issues. 'Besides, it's wonderful. Grueling, but wonderful."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"And you?" It fit his personality, she thought, the way he could sit still and concentrate for long periods of time. Personally it would drive her crazy.

"I'm busier than I thought I would be," he admitted. While his lab was at St. Mungo's, he worked for many drug companies, which were all demanding something. But he did like it.

"That's good, right?"

"Yes." The song changed again. One was Chopin, and sounded massively difficult. When _it_ was over, everyone applauded, and Eileen announced that it was time to head off to the dining room. The table had been magically elongated, and Eloise was serving roast, stewed vegetables, potatoes and sorbet. Over the years Lily had spent a good chunk of time here, and so was not outside her comfort zone. She knew everyone, and everyone knew her. It was very loud, what with everybody talking at once, and she was almost grateful when Sev's Uncle Edward stood and clinked his spoon against his glass so that the room fell silent.

"A toast," he said in his booming voice, "to long life, prosperity, and happiness. We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time, and I hope you two make the most of it. Make it count. And to you, Severus, the best darn nephew I could ever ask for, and your beautiful bride= may you table never want for bread, but the peace and contentment in you hearts always be enough for you both. To your happy home and continuing health."

"Here, here," chorused the rest of the company, raising their glasses in his stead and offering one another cheers. Then everyone drank in turn to their happy home and continuing health, and the rest of the meal passed in a relative blur as they were all lost in the delicious food and delicate conversation. After this Lily felt very sleepy but it was more dancing and she enjoyed it immensely. The first time she had slow danced had been at a Hogwarts festivity, and she was getting the hang of it pretty quickly- hand on her partner's waist and shoulder in closed position… She even did a shag in open-brace position with one of her fiancée's cousins, laughing and having a great time. The music was lively and Sev was having fun too. That was what mattered. She noticed, though, that this was not the case for Mrs. Snape, who was watching over by the wall and looking melancholy.

"I am sad and elated all at once," she confessed, when Lily asked her what was wrong. "He has been gone a long while, bettering himself, and I have gotten used to being apart. But now I am truly losing him."

"That will never happen. You're too important to him," Lily replied.

"He's important to me too. Take good care of him; I know you will. He's lucky to have you. And don't be a stranger at my place."

"We won't," the young girl assured her. Severus adored his mother and they got along splendidly, so she was sure they would visit often. "Thank you for everything. Good night."

Mrs. Snape gave a tight-lipped smile.

"Thank my sister. And I know I shouldn't say it, but I mean it. If he had to get married, I'm glad it's you."

She left without another word, not hearing Lily almost silently mumble, "Me too."

A/N: Hope this wasn't _too_ mushy and slow… but this is rather how I imagine it would be you know…


	37. Happy

It was a cold, crisp day in early April, and she had decided to take a walk. She had gotten lost in her thoughts, the fantasies in which every bride indulges, when suddenly she was startled when a figure emerged from the bushes. "What are you doing here?" It was James Potter. While he had stopped most of his bullying, and hexing people for the fun of it, he had not stopped hexing Severus. To her he was still the arrogant Quidditch star who thought he was better than everyone else.

"I wanted to talk to you." She kept moving, turned off by the way he rustled his sandy brown hair as if to impress her.

"I have no interest in doing so."

"For Pete's sake, Evans, I only wanted to congratulate you." She stopped in her tracks. He stood right beside her.

"And why should I believe that?"

"Because it's true. I'm glad you found someone who makes you as happy as he does. You deserve to be happy." This- this stunned her. Of all the things she had been expecting that was not it. It was sunny out, and the only sound was that of a bird chirping.

"Even if it's with Severus?" She was skeptical and could not help but ask it. Leaves crunched underfoot as she began moving again, and he followed her.

"Yes. Preferably not, but yes."

"Thank you, James. That's very mature." And it was true, she was impressed. Maybe he had grown up after all.

"I want to apologize for how I acted all those years, and my ignorant schoolboy attitude." And just like that she was back to being annoyed.

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to my fiancé."

"Do you really think he would listen to me?"

"That's not my problem." She was trying hard (and failing miserably) to stay at least two steps ahead of him. Suddenly it came to her. It was not Christianly to be so mean, not when he was being halfway nice, and not when... not when she was in his debt. "I am grateful you pulled him back, though. You saved his life."

"He didn't seem too appreciative. It was just a stupid prank, and he shouldn't have gone down there. Sirius didn't mean to get him in trouble."

This left her feeling miffed. "Well, he did. And how do you expect him to be appreciative when you kept acting the way you did? Anyway, that's not the point. I don't know what I would do if something had happened to him. If- well, I couldn't live without him. So thank you for saving him." This whole thing was very conflicting, as if it was day when it was supposed to be night. It was confusing and not very nice.

"Do you love him?" The seriousness of it startled her. It was a foolish question, she consented, as it should have been obvious. He should have already known. He had no business asking that. She had not exactly been forced to say yes.

"Yes, I do," she said plainly, not leaving any room for debate. "I don't know why you should question that." She sounded, she hoped, as offended as she was- uppity, even. Honestly, who did he think he was? Questioning her love for the man she was engaged to, had known since she was nine?

"I wasn't questioning you, Evans."

"Yes, you were. My emotions are none of your concern. You were questioning my judgment, on top of that. Do you deny it?" They were trekking through bramble now, and she had her wand out moving it out of their way. He continued to surprise her.

"I'm sorry." So timid. It made her think something had happened. What was going on with him?

"Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside that inflated head of yours."

"It's just that I have this theory he has you under the Imperius Curse." She came very, very close to slapping him into next week; she even, for a brief instant, turned her wand away from the hedges and onto him.

"James Potter, how dare you! How you could even suggest something so awful-"

"I was just joking. Relax."

"You're trying to make me doubt myself. Go away." She would never doubt, not for an instant. Turning her back on him, she continued walking, more than happy to let the branches fly back in his face. But he was relentless.

"I'm sorry."

"Look, I don't know what your deal is, but I don't even want to hear it." She was hot.

"But I am. I know I've been a twit. But I meant it when I said I supported your decision. He loves you, even I can see that. And every girl should be loved." She thought for a moment. There was one thing she always wanted to know.

"Why did you do it? Why did you make his life hell all those years?" The answer was long in coming, as if she had caught him by surprise. She wondered what this meant. Was it a sign of remorse, or the opposite?

"I suppose… it was pretty funny."

"You mean it was easy."

"I mean that I was jealous." She almost tripped over a tree root. If he had told her the sky was falling she would have been less shocked. So all those years of antagonizing and malicious bullying had been because of a crush he had on _her._ And he was actually jealous…

"Of Severus? And what he had with me?" She was angry. There was no way she could bear to even look at him. His true, deepest nature had been revealed, and if she didn't like him before, couldn't stand him- detested- him before, it was nothing compared to how little she thought of him now. "You are an ugly human being. That was not the way to deal with your petty feelings! He was innocent, you hateful bastard. If you wanted to get me to like you, you have succeeded in doing the complete opposite."

"I know I was wrong, okay?" She gave a short huff. It seemed so long ago, but it was hard to forget such injustice. "He hexed me whenever he got the chance too. We were kids. I know I'm a spoilt brat. But I'm fighting for good. Me and Padfoot and Moony, we joined the Order of the Phoenix."

"That's- that's really wonderful. No one's all bad, Potter. I try to see the best in people. I am really, truly grateful to you for saving Severus. You changed. I'm glad." He squeezed her hand before she could stop him and gave her a shy smile.

"I'm glad you're happy."

A/N: I know Lily kind of goes back and forth in this chapter, so let me explain. She never really saw James mature and try to improve himself (I hope she wasn't too harsh) and even though he was being nice hearing his confess his motives pushed her over the edge. But she values fighting Voldemort above almost anything else, and this won him enough brownie points for her to put things in perspective. She was just trying to sort it all out in her head, feeling sorta conflicted. Hope it wasn't too bad.


	38. The Big Day

A/N: I apologize profusely for my unintentionally prolonged absence. I hate to make the typical excuses of computer problems and a busy schedule, but that is exactly what happened. You can't do much about that, but I am sorry and am hopefully back to normal now.

* * *

It was a crisp, crystal day, the dawn of December 2nd, the day of the wedding, and clouds hung over everything like a milky veil. Her dress fell around her like fresh, clean snow falls on a glassy plain, and it was the same color, too. She looked like a princess, with her fair, unblemished skin and delicate rosy lips, and satin slippers that were fit for dancing. It was early in the morning, about two hours before noon, when the wedding took place. It was a small venue, at an old-fashioned but beautiful church where she'd attended services her whole life. She stood at the front door, arm in arm with her father, her stomach in knots.

"My heart is fluttering. It didn't know it was possible to be elated and nervous at the same time."

"It's perfectly normal," Mr. Evans told her softly. Inside they could hear the music change. "That's your cure. It's time."

And then the oak-paneled doors flew open, and all the guests seated in the pews stood. They walked to a fast and lively march, but it seemed to take forever. The stained-glass windows let in an almost heavenly light, and drowned all of the orchids and narcissus in its glory, but she had eyes only for the raven-haired, tuxedo-clad, hooked nosed man waiting for her, looking at her with love in his gaze. It was the same love the was in her heart, and it flooded her. When they made it to the end, her father squeezed her hand, and placed it in Severus'.

And then he took a step back.

"Please be seated," boomed the priest, and everyone obeyed. "Who gives this woman to this man?"

"Her mother and I do," Mr. Evans declared. Giving his wife a sorrowful look from where she sat. How exquisite she was with her blond her al done up, brown eyes twinkling- but there was heaviness in her expression. It was a gleeful occasion, but they were trying hard not to be somber at losing their baby girl. Petunia had married last summer, trying to outdo her sister, and so they were both going to be gone. That hurt. So Mr. Evans was seated.

"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are gathered here today in holy matrimony, in love, in peace, and unity." He turned his eyes on Lily. "Do you, Lily Evans, take this man to be you lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and cherish him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." She did not hesitate. She'd been waiting for this moment her whole life. The priest turned to Severus then.

"Do you, Severus Snape, take this woman to be you lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love, honor and cherish her for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." She breathed a sigh of relief. She'd been having nightmares about a million things that would ruin this, and none of them had happened.

"If anyone should object to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace." Her heart was pounding.

"I object!" screamed a voice, as Michael Mulciber burst through the doors, wand out. There was a collective gasp, and the groom's stomach dropped to the floor. "It is against our cause for him to marry someone of her vile race. The Dark Lord will not have it. And if the Dark Lord is to have him…"

Severus too had his wand out now, and the murmuring of the crowd grew deafening. "I do recall telling you to stay away, Mulciber," he sneered. "I have chosen my path."

Lily could not help herself. She wrapped her right arm around her husband-to-be's waist, mostly due to fright, but also because of her fiery sense of rebellion. She wanted to show him that they stood together as one.

"I'm afraid that is not sufficient grounds to terminate the union," interrupted the priest, trying his hardest not to stutter. "Let the ceremony commence."

"That isn't going to happen. You're going to have to do more than make Avery's toenails grow to make us quit. Death Eaters don't give up, Snape. Ever. The Dark Lord wants you. With your extensive knowledge of the dark arts and potion-brewing you would be quite useful. He needs a new potions brewer. He is not normally subtle in his method of attack, but imagine the terror we could evoke with a brew that acted like the Cruciatus but also decimated your bones from the insdie out, or one that could keep you in eternal sleep. And he can't have just anybody do it. He needs new, fresh potions that work an innovative torture devices, and someone to invent them. There in noen better than you are- you are revolutionary in your craft. The Dark Lord knows this. He appreciates our talent and analytical mind, which can help him bring about new methods of destruction. You would be rewarded greatly for performing such services for him. So what do you say? Leave the Mudblood filth and come down from there. Don't be such a coward."

As if enforcing the power of such a statement, at least five more Death Eaters entered at that exact moment to stand behind him, including Avery, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, and one other that Severus did not recognize. They looked as if they took grueling pleasure in their task, their work, and Lily said later that she now knew what pure evil looked like. They looked like bandits like hunters with their guns laded, wands pointed at the altar. She felt scared out of her wits, and squeezed Severus tighter.

"Don't call my husband a coward!" Even their laughter sounded dark. The brightness of the day was most definitely gone.

"Come on, Snape. What would you have with her? She's got dirt running throughout her veins. You don't want a rat of her lineage. She doesn't belong with wizards. You can do better than her. I'm sure the Dark Lord would be willing to oblige you with one of his pretty little sex slaves if you join our cause," said Lucius.

There was silence, but only for a moment. "You would have to kill me first," replied Snape. His bride had never heard him sound so vehement, never had he hated so much as he now hated them. She was nervous, unsure of what they might do.

"Oh, we can't do that. Don't you get it? You're too valuable. But her-" Without thinking Severus stepped in front of her, at the same time successfully repelling the stream for green light that came towards them with a very powerful red salvation hex that held firm.

"Secumsempra!" he cried, at the same time he heard someone should- he did not know who it was, but it sounded sickeningly like Mr. Evans-

"Get her out of her!" He was so out of it that the idea needed to be put in his brain, but he acted so quickly you could not tell. She squealed when he picked her up, his side of the family already attacking with devastating curses and deflecting others. They went out the back, moving forward away from the chaos in the pews to where the church offices were, and he placed her inside of one. She was crying, and he gave her one last, lingering look before he locked her in. Mulciber had been the one to get hit with the Secumsempra, and he lay on the floor half-dead. It wasn't long before Avery had dragged him away, however. There were a dozen Princes, and so they overpowered the Death Eaters. A few of them were dedicated solely to protecting the Evans family on the other side of the aisle who could not defend themselves. Itw as a quick fight, with Malfoy screaming,

"You can't keep us away this easily!" before he and the others retreated. It took Severus a moment to catch his breath and got his bearings. A window had been broken, but other than that the church and made it out okay.

"Is anybody hurt?" Eileen asked. A few had been Petrified or Stunned, but that was easily taken care of with Finite Incantatum. Someone had been lasted against the wall hard and probably had a broken bone, but there was no lasting damage. The priest's office door had been Charmed so that it could not be open with an unlocking spell except by the person who had locked it, because it was often a place of refuge for witches and wizards (as well as Muggles, truthfully)and so precautions had been taken.

"I think we did more damage to them then they did to us," he told Lily, when he let her out, and she flung her arms around him when he let her out, and she flug her arms around him.

"Are you alright?" she demanded.

"Yes, are you?"

"Yes, don't do that again!"

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to keep you away from them. They're dangerous and crazy. I only want you safe. That's it."

"I know it. It's alright. I just wanted to help. I love you, Sev. Let's go and help out."

She ran a pale and over his cheek and kissed him, taking his hand and leading him out to where everyone waited. It was decided that they should not commence with the ceremony given how shaken up everyone was- and they needed time to think things over.

Nothing else could have made Sev feel as bad as he did now.

A/N: To explain the Death Eaters seemingly unusual persistence, I figure that if they keep trying to recruit someone as openly against them as Horace Slughorn and he has to go in hiding ("You can only say no to these people so many times/ I never stay anywhere more than a week"), and these people have lived with Severus his entire Hogwarts career, that they wouldn't consider this going too far but rather a last-ditch effort to get him on their side. Hope that makes sense. Thank you for those who are still reading the story and stuck with me this long! I will update soon, no cliffies this time.


	39. The Aftermath

"I Obliviated all of them. They won't remember what happened," Lily announced, stepping into the Evans' living room. A cozy fire was roaring in the grate, and she took off her mittens and warmed her hands in front of it. It had been a long ordeal getting the Prince family home and safe, and she had stayed behind to take care of her own family. Her father was right behind her.

"Good," Severus said. After he had gotten everything taken care of Mrs. Evans had ordered him straight here and shoved a mug of hot chocolate into his hands. It was late. She shivered, and Mr. Evans sat down in his chair with an exhausted groan.

"What will happen to those madmen?" Mrs. Evans asked, sounding scared. She had been home long enough to change from wedding attire into a long brown skirt and fluffy sweater. She trembled as she clutched her warm mug.

"Nothing. Their Lord is very powerful. They got away." And that was all there was to it. Mrs. Evans looked frail from where she sat next to her husband, as if older than she actually was. Severus lowered his voice then. "I understand, sir, if you revoke your blessing. I put her in danger, and I could never forgive myself is something happened to her because of me. I can't keep her safe."

"You did a pretty good job of keeping her safe back there, it seems to me," Mr. Evans replied. It was hard for him to put himself in the younger man's place. He knew where that had come from- the insecure part of him that felt he would never be good enough. But it proved, at the same time, that he did love Lily. And he had kept her safe.

"It's worse than it seems. They will not stop. She is going to get hurt and I cannot allow that."

"Neither can I, I'm afraid," Mrs. Evans piped up. "I know you warned us about all of this, but it's gone too far. They seem intent on having you. They are relentless. Lily will have no part in it. They could have killed her- they tried to kill her. This madness must stop. I love you like a son, Severus, but you put this family in danger. You can have no part in it." That had been boiling inside her for hours. Severus was paler than he'd been since the accident, and stood with his tail between his legs, looking ashamed of himself. He was.

"Thanks for everything-"

"No, Sev!" And Lily, in her wedding dress still, attached herself to him, distraught in every sense of the word. Cupping his cheeks in her hands, she kissed him. "If you do this, if you don't marry me, then you're letting them win. You're giving them exactly what they want. They've gotten inside your head. Show them that they can't stop us." She kissed him yet again.

"You're right, darling, but I don't care. They tried to kill you. I should have done this sooner. I love you too much to risk your safety. I'm letting you go. I love you, Lily."

"Finally, someone talking sense," said Mrs. Evans. Shaking the distressed woman off of him, he opened the door, stepped outside and closed it. He could hear the love of his life howling and wailing, and he walked away speedily.


	40. The Unbreakable Vow

"Well, well, I thought I'd find you here."

"What do you want, Narcissa?" Somehow Severus had gravitated back to the church, and was chewing on all of the darkness inside himself in one of the pews, wondering why such things had to happen. If he was everything they seemed to believe. He already knew he was destructive…

"I have a proposition for you." Not waiting for an invitation, she took a seat next to him. In every sense she was the calm to her sister's insanity, but that still meant she would do anything to get what she wanted, a Slytherin in every sense of the word who would use any means to achieve her goals. Her long white hair was in a frizzy bun and she wore a black covering over her red dress. She looked ready to do business.

"I'm not interested."

"Oh, you will be. You see, I did not marry Lucius for purely political means." Well, that was stunning. And entirely unbelievable.

"What was it, then, his money?" he growled, still angry at the world. She was unfased by this, though.

"I like you, Snape. How very unchivalrous. I'm trying to help you. No. I love him. I love my husband more than anything in the world." Narcissa had always been different from the rest of them' he'd known it since Hogwarts. Sure, she valued superficial things like beauty. But she valued honor as well- particularly her family's honor, and that was why he _thought_ she had married a well-off, pureblood wizard like Lucius. This was surprising, but Severus could care less. "And I believe in true love- the kind you and she have. They should not have tried to keep you apart. I admire you. You don't fit the mold they keep trying to make for you. I promise you I'll keep them away- they won't hurt either of you. I'll even use the Imperius Curse if I have to." That made him raise his eyebrows in doubt.

"Even on your own husband?"

"Yes."

"What's in it for you?" She stood, not meeting his eyes, and began pacing almost nervously in the aisle. There was definitely something wrong with her demeanor; she seemed anxious. Her price was sure to be outrageous- but whatever it was would ne worth it to keep Lily safe.

"Here's the deal. I'm pregnant. There will come a day when my child will be in danger, when things will not be sturdy like they are now. He'll need to be protected. If I'm right, if that day does come, I want you to promise me that you will keep him safe. That he can find shelter with you." She placed her hand on her stomach. "It's a boy. We're naming him Draco. You're a powerful wizard. I trust you to guard him with your life, if it comes to it."

That- that he could do, and happily. She was no longer a threat, but a mother looking out for her child. That alone was enough to restore his faith in humanity. He could get behind it. "There is only one problem-"

"Ah, her family. Don't worry, they already agreed to my plan. In fact, they were ecstatic. She will be safe _and_ happy. They get everything they ever wanted." He looked at her in astonishment. It was almost too good to be true. He stood as well now.

"You're a good woman, Narcissa."

"I want you to swear it. Make the Unbreakable Vow."

"But who is going to bind it?" Just then someone stepped out into the limelight. It was someone familiar, someone in a raggedy grey suit and incredibly messy blonde hair. "Lupin," spat Snape nastily, seeing the wolf who had nearly killed him for the first time in years. HE was smiling. Smiling!

"We have connections," Narcissa explained, alluding to the fact that most werewolves were loyal to the Dark Lord and that they had tracked him down. There had been few people willing to do this, certainly no one in her family or circle of friends. But she'd been determined.

"Why would _you_ want to help us?" Severus could not help but ask. Remus already had his wand out.

"I know I can't make it up to you, what happened that night in the shack. You nearly lost your life because of me. This is the least I can do. I'm sorry… for everything." Was that how Lupin truly felt? Deep down, was he living in fear that he was going to hurt somebody, even kill them like had almost happened all those years ago? He was only afraid.

"It wasn't your fault," Severus said, because it was true. The sole blame rested with Black. The wolf appeared relieved. Narcissa gripped Severus' hand, and Remus placed his wand over their extended arms.

"Will you, Narcissa Malfoy, to the best of your ability keep Severus and his wife from harm, no matter what means you must use, and deceive your fellow Death Eaters to ensure their safety and allow their union?"

"Yes, I will," the timid but ferocious woman answered. Luminescent white magic was wrapped around their hands in a cruel embrace, resplendent and mystifying yet terrifying and dull at the same time. Remus turned to Severus now.

"And will you, Severus Snape, to the best of yoru ability, protect, shield and harbor. Draco Malfoy and watch over him, if and when the need should arise?"

"I shall," he replied. The connection died like an electric spark, but there was a new energy in the air that had not been there before. It had developed quickly, and there were many unsurities still, but each party was equally grateful Narcissa had come up with the whole idea as soon as she had heard what happened; she didn't know what she would do without her Lucius, and the rather horrid truth was that the Dark Lord's followers would kill her baby in an instant if the Dark Lord was the better for it, which was not a risk she was willing to take. And Severus couldn't help but fell she'd gotten the short end of the bargain, as he couldn't deliver on his part for many years, or possibly not ever (even though the probability was high that he would).

"I'll hit them with a memory char first. If things get worse I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, as the Muggles say. Take care of her and don't let go." Tears brimmed in her eyes, and he would have to be a fool not to know why.

"I am exceedingly grateful, Mrs. Malfoy. Thank you. Thank you as well, Remus." It just went to show how good of a mood he was in now. She would hold up her end of the deal, he was sure of it. And he had every intention of holding up his.


	41. The Wedding

A week later the young couple stood in the otherwise deserted courthouse; it was late and a Saturday and this was how they wanted it. They'd made all the fuss once- no need to do it again. Lily wore a toffee-colored, flat dress, which quite complimented her red locks, still as long as on the day he first met her. Severus, of course, was clad in his business suit. The Princes knew, naturally, what had transpired, but in the minds of the Evans' nothing had ever happened in the first place. Each of them signed the marriage license without hesitation, and both of them had put up their fair share for it. The whole thing was quite ideal, and they left within the hour. Now there was no chance the Death Eaters would come after them, and it could not have been better. To celebrate they picnicked in the clearing that had been their safe spot for the length of their school years, laughing and merrily drinking champagne as if nothing had ever been wrong… by now it was well past midnight, and they were munching on chicken legs and sighing.

"What an adventure this has all been," she said, tearing the skin rather viciously off the bone with her teeth. "What stories we'll have to tell our kids someday, huh?"

"Whatever you say, Lils. I'm just glad for the here and now."

"The here and now, huh?"

"Yep. I wonder if moonlight tastes as fizzy as this champagne," he ventured, taking another sip and letting it burn his tongue. Any younger and the taste would have bothered him. But at twenty, it didn't, and he joined her- she had kicked off her ruby slippers and now lay flat on the checkered mat. The only sounds were of crickets, and their thoughts.

"I wonder if _stars_ burn like the champagne," she corrected, and he- for once in his life- giggled.

"Don't be silly, Lils. How could stars burn?" But, he thought, there was the distinct possibility that they might. It was worth considering, at least.

"No, they give it that fizzy flavor. The moon is what scorches it." Both turned their attention skyward. The sky was lite up with the gas balls as if it were an electric panel, flickering on and off as if carrying on a conversation. The empty black space was filled with them.

"I've never seen so many. It's like music," Severus said. But she was only looking at him.

"Did you ever consider that free-will might not exist at all, and that it's all preordained?"

"No. God gave us freewill, didn't he? If there are two paths, he gave me the power to choose one. I can only pray He gives me the strength to choose the right one."

She inhaled, slowly, and then exhaled, in rhythm with the star's hypnotic blinking. "Do you think, in another life, that we would have chosen differently?"

"I certainly wouldn't have. Nothing beats this, Lily." She laughed, and it was crystal, and she grabbed his hands like she did every day, kissing his cheeks.


	42. Christmas Again

"When is she going to be here? When is she going to be here?" the little girl asked, bouncing up and down and clinging to her mother's skirts. They stood in the kitchen, and the smell of cookies wafted from the oven.

"Soon, sweetgums," Lily promised stroking her daughter's silky raven hair. She looked so like Severus, except her eyes, which were strikingly emerald… and there was something of her mother in her soft features and pug nose, too. But on the inside she was her father's child. She was dressed in her best today, in little black stockings, a robin-blue dress and matching bow, adorable in every sense of the word. It was Christmastime. Then they heard a ring on the doorbell, and Lily ran to get it. Her husband and mother-in-aw had stopped on the way for the tree, and Eileen was practically hidden by it.

"Merry Christmas!" she shouted. Lily had already cleared the space that led to the living room so that they could move the fir without anything getting in the way. It was tedious work, as evidenced by the soft groans they were making, and when they were done and had placed it in its stand, Severs was wiping beads of sweat from his face. Eileen gave Lily a hug, and then scooped up her little granddaughter who had entered the scene already bursting into giggles.

"Grandma! Grandma!" she cried, laughing. Grandma then spun her around and kissed her cheek.

"Hello, doll." Then a _ping!_ Issued from the oven, telling Lily the timer was done, and she disappeared.

"Come here, Izzy," Severus beckoned, and Isabelle jumped from her grandmother's arms and ran to him. "This tree big enough? You like it, hmm?"

"Yes, yes! Why didn't you use magic?" It was a question he did not quite know how to answer. Magic _would_ have made the job a lot easier. But what sort of example would that have set?  
"It's rewarding- hard work pays off. If you used magic for everything you wouldn't appreciate it. Does that make sense?"

"No." Of course. Eileen came over and ruffled the little girl's hair. Izzy, as they affectionately called her, was called her, was quite literally the light of her life. And these moments were what she lived for.

"You know how your mother insists on handwashing all the dishes? Well, when she did it by magic one time, she was glad because it was so much easier," she explained. The living room was probably the most gorgeous room in the house, they all agreed. Its high ceiling and large windows made it feel open, and also very bright. It had four comfortable sitting chairs= one of which was Eileen's- positioned around an oak coffee table, and matching end tables on either side of the sofa opposite. Now, however, everything had been shifted slightly to the left so that the massive fir could fit in the corner, standing proudly at ten feet tall.

"Let me show you how to tell if it's fresh." Her father took her tiny hand and ran it across one of the branches. "See how little firs come off?" The more that come off, the longer it's been since it was chopped." Her emerald orbs were wide with wonder. She felt like it was finally Christmas.

"Who wants chocolate chip cookies?" a certain redhead asked, reappearing with a tray in hand and a broad grin on her face.

"Ohhh!" squealed her daughter, running over to her and momentarily forgetting the tree. "Please, mommy?" she pouted, doing her best puppy-dog face. Lily laughed.

"Yes, you may."

"Thank you!" She was precious, the way she didn't pronounce the 'y' and 'you,' and daintily ate her treat whereas most children would have scarfed it down without any etiquette. When she was done, she smiled up at the woman towering over her. "Show me some magic, momma! Momma, you do the bestest magic!"

"I suppose it is rather cold in here," Lily assented, pointing her wand at the bleak, dead fireplace. "Inscendio!" The flames roared and cackled to life with pops and cracks, and a marvelous whooshing sound. Isabelle gasped and clapped.

"Bravo! Bravo!"

"Now, come on! We have a Christmas tree to decorate." They drew the line in stringing the lights by hand; magic was at least useful in that. But they did, however, hang ornaments the old-fashioned Muggle way like Lily used to do when she was a child. It made her miss everything she used to have with Petunia… though what she had was so amazing she didn't dwell on it much.

"Daddy, up!" Isabelle demanded, and he lifted her so that she could hang her favorite ones on the higher branches. Though many of the other decorations around the house were animated with magic, nothing that went on the tree was. Mrs. Snape- the one with blazing hair- would not allow it, as it was not reminiscent of her childhood. And they were willing to indulge her, as this would be her first Christmas since her parents died. When they were finished the lights blinked bright yellow, and they had placed the ornaments just right so that it glimmered off the crystal like the sun reflecting off of a lake. The affect was dazzling. As they were standing back admiring their work, the four-year-old gave a large yawn.

"Looks like it's somebody's bedtime," Severus prompted. She laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her hands around his neck.

"Read me a bedtime story, Dada," she said, trying to sound as small and cute as possible. He kissed her coal black hair so much like his own. _At least she didn't get my nose,_ he thought.

"Say goodnight, little bugger."

"Goodnight, little burger." This made the two Mrs. Snapes grin widely.

"Goodnight, precious." "Night, baby," they chorused. As Severus took her to her room the little girl was already almost asleep. Now, Lily Evans Snape knew that nothing in the whole world could be perfect, as hard it tried. Especially life. But, she reflected, this must have been close as it possibly got.


	43. Death

Seven-year-old Isabelle Snape knew that something was wrong. She never forgot how cold it was that December day. She stood outside the bedroom door watching the horror scene. Mother laid in the big bed sleeping in an upright position, leaning against a fluffy pillow. Father took her hand, and the look of anguish that crossed his face is forever burned into her memory, so agonizing was it to witness. Fear rippled through her. Father screamed. Loudly. Surely the world was ending.

She knew that Mother had contracted typhus last month at work, and had not been well since. For the last two weeks she had been bedridden, and for the last few days Father had not left her side. Grandmother Snape was here too- as she almost always was, she might as well live with them- keeping the house up, helping Father brew medicine (thought there was no magic cure). She had heard them talk about spells that eased the pain.

And now…

Grandma was holding Father, as if he were a little boy, and he was wailing and howling. Little children are very observant, and Isabelle did not miss the sadness and fear in Grandma's expression, realizing instantly that she was suffering immensely too. But the thing was, she had no idea what had happened.

What could have happened?

Things were already bad- what could possibly have been worse?

"Daddy," she tried, whispering.

He did not here her.

"Daddy?" That was better, but still he did not turn to her. Nightmarish, ghoulish things raced through her imaginative little mind, things that only existed when she was laying in the dark at night. Often your mind is your own worst enemy. She thought of the worst things in existence, things which did not really exist (though in the wizarding world some pretty scary things existed). She had never, blessedly, dealt with death- she was too young for that. But eventually everyone does, and some start young. She did not yet know why, but tears brimmed in her eyes and she let them fall. When she spoke her voice was small.

"Daddy? Is mommy going to be alright?"

Still, no one answered her. Finally Grandma looked at her, gave Daddy one final pat, and came out, closing the door behind her. "Isabelle." It was clear she was trying to keep it together.

"What happened to Mommy?" Eileen knew that keeping the truth from her was impossible, and she cared far to much for her to do that besides. Besides, there was no way she was going to lay that burden on Severus after everything he had gone through.

So began the dark tale, and of course Isabelle did not believe it. But then she rushed into the room to join Daddy and he hugged her and swallowed her up like he was never going to see her again. That night she slept in his bed. It was a very painful few weeks after that. Lily's absence was terrifying, cold and morbid to boot; it held them in its grip and would not let go.


	44. Platform 9 34

It is a bright, sunny day, and King's Cross Station was no exception. This was September 1rst, and that meant plenty of noisy children with parents chasing after them reminding them of scarves, hats, gloves, rats and books- any and every assortment of the ordinary and extraordinary. There were crying eleven-year-olds and elated teenagers exchanging tearful farewells or pretending not to see each other. The casual observer might have noticed people vanishing into a brick wall after racing into it at astonishing speed, but this was muggle London, and none did.

"I'm right behind you," Severus Snape told his daughter. This year was going to be her first at Hogwarts. She glared at him, and went on to Platform 9 ¾ . "Remember to turn all your work in on time. Make good grades and stay out of trouble. I want all Outstanding on your O.W.L.s…"

"O.W.L.s aren't for five more years, Dad," she reminded him.

"I know. But it never hurts to start early. And of course avoid all things Gryffindor."

"If you avoided all things Gryffindor I wouldn't be here. It's not like I can choose. But even if I could I would choose your rival house just to spite you." Needless to say, they had not gotten on well since Lily's passing. Every little thing seemed to set them off. He pushed the luggage cart further down the platform.

"I know. Let's just say I'm grateful you can't." He began unloading her trunk from the art when he spotted someone infamous in the world of Gryffindor. It was James Potter who was standing next to his son, who might have been a clone of him. He was the spitting image. Severus sneered, it was so disgusting. "And stay away from Potter Jr.," he finished.

"Look at you, trying to tell me who my friends are before I even get on the train.

"I'm serious."

"I'll be fine, Dad. You're just worried." Just then the dynamic duo caught sight of them, too, and quickly turned away to walk in the opposite direction. Severus breathed a huge of relief. An encounter with them was the last thing he needed right now, he was already on his last nerve as it was.

"Am I?"

"You're not being very Christianly."

"You are in no position to tell me that."

"Why not?" It was actually a fair question. The easy answer was that he was the parent and she was the child… but he knew better. She had always been better at it than him and both of them were well aware of it. He was not even worried about her losing the faith despite being away from church for so long, which said a lot. She _was_ in a position to tell him that; though she knew the stories of James Potter quite well, having mostly heard it from her grandmother. She understood.

"I should go," she tried finally, growing tired of the awkward silence. For the first time she was glad he wasn't the hugging type- they _were_ in public after all.

"I want you to keep reading your Bible, Isabelle." She had never reminded him much of Lily. Lily was a deep thinker, talkative, philosophical and hot-tempered. Isabelle was introverted and did not care about anything. "And write to me. I love you, child." It was important she know that. She nodded, gave him a sympathetic look, and faded into the crowd.


	45. Houseguest

It was summer again. Isabelle reminded Severus more and more of himself when he was her age; she too would rather stay at Hogwarts than come home during the holidays, albeit for tremendously different reasons. Nevertheless he was glad to have her back. Most of the time she stayed in her room like a recluse. She had been Sorted into Ravenclaw, which made him proud (and would have made Lily proud too, he was sure). And it was better than her being in Slytherin- she could avoid the psychotic Death Eater children.

"Finish your supper," he admonished on her first night back. She as poking around her peas like they were poisonous and looking down sulkily. At this particular moment the dining room appeared very gloomy, with what little lighting there was, and the added fact that both of its current occupants were sour.

"Make me." But Severus did not even have time to make a retort before there came a knock on the door. Outside stood none other than Draco Malfoy. He knew it instantly; the boy so resembled Lucius, except for a stubborn bit of Narcissa in his face which gave him a certain determination. But at the same time it was riddled with that telltale Malfoy arrogance, He didn't look worried, but something must have been wrong.

"My mother asked me to come here, as if I can't handle what the Dark Lord asked me to do. I really don't understand her-"

"Shut your trap and get inside." Severus immediately understood,. This was it. It was time to keep his end of the bargain. He ushered Draco in, despite Isabelle's grunts of protests and gestured to a third empty space at the table. "Sit." Malfoy obeyed, preparing for the interrogation that was sure to ensue. He was right, of course. "First of all, son, the attitude stops now. I am sure your mother is only doing best for you. I happen to trust her judgment; she has an instinct for those things. You have a suitcase. Things must be dire."

Indeed Malfoy had dragged after him a large leather suitcase, big enough to hold enough belongings to last a month. Whatever was going on, Narcissa must have seen it as a serious threat to her son. "She thinks I can't do it. Like the Dark Lord would have asked me if he thought I couldn't do it-"

"I do not care what the Dark Lord did or did not ask you to do. I can't believe you took the Dark Mark, Draco. Eat." With a flick of his wand a plate flew down from the cabinet. The pantry door opened and began to fill it with all sorts of food: cornbread dressing and sweet potato soufflé, honey- roasted ham, as well as rice and gravy. Then it landed in front of the 'guest.'

"You let a Death Eater in our house?" Isabelle had watched this whole scene from the doorway, and now retook her place at the table. A more astute daughter would have noticed the urgency and concern which seemed to possess her father, but she did not.

"As if a pansy like you would understand. It's glory, sweetheart. More than you could ever ask for here. It's power. Your name goes down in history- an opportunity my dear mother took away from me, of course. It's a chance to be important. Goody-two- shoes like you with your head in your books will never have that."

"I have everything I need right here," the girl retorted did her father, though Draco had begun tucking in.

"Don't let him fool you, Isabelle. He's all talk," retorted Severus. "It brings neither power nor glory nor importance doing what they do. They are merely under that illusion. In reality the Dark Lord cares nothing for his servants. They are disposable to him.

"That's not true!" shouted the boy, slamming his for, down on the table.

"Stop that nonsense instantly. It is very well true. Whatever he asked you to do must be pretty horrible. That is besides the point, however. That is besides the point, however. What is your mother telling everyone?"

"I never questioned her loyalty; I know now that I should have. She brewed a potion that will make them forget I ever existed- it's better than a memory charm because she can do it on a mass scale and it's temporary. That' sonly for the Death Eaters, of course. She told the Dark Lord that I died."

In hindsight Isabelle should have been frightened by all of this. Most children would be. Tales of Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named were reserved for All Hallow's Eve, to be told hiding under the sheet in the dark with nothing but a flashlight. But her father and grandmother had not wanted her to live in fear; instead, they had taught her to fight it, know what she was up against. For her this was exhilarating. She knew exactly what her Dad meant about power, glory, and importance.

"She must believe the war is nearly finished, then," Severus prompted. Draco fell straight in line.

"Some stupid prophecy fortells the Dark Lord's downfall. He believes it refers to a Neville Longbottom, who's under the Fidelus Charm wherever he lives with his grandmother. His parents are in St. Mungo's of course. Haven't been right since Bellatrix-"

"No need to relate the gruesome details, we know very well what happened to the Longbottoms! This prophecy must have just come to light, in that case. That means that the boy is the only chance the Light has. Their one hope, if you will." Severus stood, and began pouring himself a large drink of gingerale. He was starting to get a headache, and it was moments like this he regretted not drinking alcohol. But then he remembered his father and that was instantly quenched. "Which means the fate of the world, bot Wizard and Muggle, rests on some insolent, scrawny child." When he was done reflecting he turned back to his daughter. "Isabelle, please show Mr. Malfoy to his rooms. He's going to be staying awhile."

"Does he have to?"

"I am sick and tired of you questioning me! When I tell you to do something, do it! Upstairs, the both of your!" They raced to obey.


	46. Questions and Answers

"What is the matter with you?"

"That's rude," countered Isabelle, her arms crossed, offended. She sat in the grass clearing where her parents had often met, her back turned on a clearly stressed Draco. It was a pretty day, and she was just trying to escape all the drama of the house… which obviously wasn't working.

"There's something wrong, and I want to find out what it is," he replied. He sat and I want to find out what it is," he replied. He sat down next to her, ignoring her negative vibes.

"Go away," she demanded. This was laughable.

"I have as much right to be here as you do."

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" This was a fair question. So far he had been indifferent- and that was a light use of the word- towards everything that had gone on, sulking about the fact that he was here in the first place. He shrugged. She sighed. Wasn't that what she wanted? Someone to listen?

"You think I wouldn't understand family problems?" Which reminded her of plenty of her own questions.

"What did the Dark Lord ask you to do?"

"He asked me to kill someone. Dumbledore, actually. My mother says I'm not actually supposed to succeed- and if… if I don't…" he really had trouble finishing, but luckily for him she did it first.

"Then he'll kill _you."_

"Right." Well, that escalated fast. Now she actually felt sorry for him, and she had never have any intention of doing that. And it was Dumbledore, only the most important person on the side of the Light, Headmaster of Hogwarts. "Wait, he chose you for that?"

"Like I said, he's only trying to punish my parents. My Dad lost something very important."

"That's extreme." He huffed.

"Do you listen to your Dad?"

"Only sometimes." This actually made him laugh. She flipped her braid behind her and started pulling out grass. "Do you miss them? Your parents, I mean?" she asked, curious. He ahd seemed very resentful of his mother.

"Of course. They're my parents. My Dad is a lot like yours, strict and unhappy."

"He's just more protective. And you have your mother."

"Who monitors everything in my entire life." Now he had hit a sore spot.

"Don't talk like that. You have literally no idea what I would do to have my mother control everything in my life. Now I know what you meant about glory. If you killed Dumbledore you would be remembered for a long, long time. But did you actually want to do it?" There was a long silence after this. She knew she shouldn't, but she would absolutely judge him on his answer. They had a lot more in common than she might have guessed, but she could never associate with someone who wanted to murder for glory and power.

"I- I don't know," he confessed. "It would help my family go up in the Dark Lord's rank. And there is the whole being remembered you do it? Your soul would split. Ending a life- you'd never be the same. Could you live with the guilt?" That- that was actually easy.

"Probably not." This made her unconsciously smile. There was hope for him and that proved it. And now she could deal with him staying; it was the only way to keep his family safe. "Your Dad is pretty awesome, you know. And he really cares about you."

"Thanks, Draco."


	47. Memories

It bothered her, as it would anyone. She felt numb. The pain should have been unbearable, agonizing, and the depression crippling. But it simply wasn't. She didn't feel anything. It was a cloudy, milky night, the stars not visible in the sky. Isabelle was sure her father forced himself to relive everything good and bad he had ever known about Lily Snape as some form of insane torture. But she herself had very little to remember. The loss had been heavier than anything she had ever known, and she felt like it should still hurt. Maybe that was why she was felt like it should it should still hurt. Maybe that was why she was numb- she could not handle the hurt and so was shutting herself off from it.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked. She could not bring herself to tell the truth, considering what he must have been going through. Besides, how to describe it? She sniffled, wondering why they had to come to the cemetery after dark. It was perfectly fine during the day.

"You have me, Dad. You'll always have me." He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head.

"And I am so grateful for that," he said. "I hope you know that. You can't know how much I love you. I'm going to leave you alone for a moment, okay?"

"No, Dad…" As he turned to go she grabbed his hand. She would suffocate if left alone in front of her mother's grave. It was too cold. He broke free of her grasp, though, and disappeared. She rubbed her arms to try had keep the chill out, but it wasn't working. Not more than a minute had passed when a voice pierced the dark.

"I thought I might find you here." Dumbledore came into view. There was no way this made any logical sense, she though. What in the world was he doing here? "You lost both of your parents that day. Allow me to show them to you, Miss Snape, and maybe it will help you get them back."

"Nothing can bring Mother back, with all due respect, sir. And believe me, I've searched and searched. There's nothing." The way she said it was enough to make anyone cry. It was completely and utterly hopeless. But still he smiled.

"You are thinking with your brain and not with your heart, my dear. They had never left you, have always been a part of you. All you have to do is come with me. Your father has given his permission." She gave him a queer look, naturally. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It was just that nothing this strange had ever happened to her before. She clutched the collar of her cloak made from wolves' fur to pull it tighter around her neck and walked passed the tombstones to where the old man stood. He extended his arm and she took it. Her stomach wrenched as they were whisked away; it made her want to throw up, but she didn't. They were in Dumbledore's office. On his desk stood a stone-encrusted basin.

"What was that?" she asked, panting.

"Apparition," he explained, though she should have known it. He took his wand and placed it on the side of his head, a frothy, frosty strand forthcoming. It swirled in the basin like cream in a cup of coffee.

"Once you stop inside, you will neither be seen nor heard. It is merely my own memory." She nodded, and came closer and closer… "Just dunk you head in," the Headmaster whispered. She did so, feeling suddenly very afraid, and she was falling into the past (or as close as she could get, anyway) which produced a great swooping sensation.

She was still in Hogwarts, she realized. This time it was just an abandoned old classroom. It must have been a place where they stored junk. The sight of her Mum and Dad nearly took Isabelle's breath away. They were so young…

"Look in this mirror and tell me what you see," he father said. For some reason Isabelle could not grasp her mother looked on the verge of tears. Her shining ruby hair was her crowning glory, her paleness like that of a princess's. Isabelle had forgotten how beautiful she was. Photographs didn't do her justice. When Lily took Severus' place in front of a long mirror- the Mirror of Erised, she figured, judging from her father's subdued expression- she went to stand directly behind Lily. Her father's reflection stared back at them. He was young and so jovial here, so full of life- more so than she had ever seen him. Her mother must have noticed this too because it had taken her breath away; she could barely speak.

"What do _you_ see?" Isabelle smiled at them. So not a fair question, Mom. He could not even look at her.

"You."

"Ah, then you are very lucky, Mr. Snape. Many men would die for what this mirror shows them. Few already have it." Dumbledore's entrance nearly made her jump out of her skin. She gasped, the realization coming to her.

"What _is_ it showing me?" Severus asked. The Headmaster looked like he had not changed at all. He was the same as when they had last seen him.

"I'm glad you asked, my boy. Many people don't. They forget that what the Mirror of Erised shows them is not real at all. They are the ones who waste away before it. It shows you only the deepest desire of you heart, nothing more and nothing less. " Lily moved to squeeze Severus's hand, and- mouth hung open in awe- Isabelle tried to reach out to touch her, but she couldn't. It was as if she were as transparent as a ghost. This broke her heart.

"Sir, we were confronted today by a group of Slytherins trying to recruit Severus as a Death Eater…" her voice trailed off; she seemed immensely pained. Isabelle would give anything to comfort, reach out; hold her, be held by her. They would cry and it would be alright. Then she would scream at her to not become a Healer, because they catch the diseases their patients have and all that's left of them is a stone over their- she shuddered to even think the word- corpse. "But they hurt Sev! He could have died!"

"There is no need to fret, Miss Evans. As it happens I know what happened in the Great Hall. We are investigating it.' Then he leaned in, preparing to tell them something very important, Isabelle gathered. "Do not ever take for granted what the two of you have." With that he mysteriously disappeared. How frustrating.

"I wonder what _he_ sees in the mirror," her father pondered. They must have been her own age.

"I see you. I meant it when I said that I love you."

"Me too." They leaned in and kissed, and Isabelle thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Then the memory ended, and like a swimmer surfacing from the water so she found herself once more in Dumbledore's office. Maybe that was why she expected to see Dumbledore, but instead it was her father who waited for her. There were tears hesitation.

"She loved you. A lot." They could not help themselves. They sank all the way to the floor.

"And I love her. Just as I love you. You are the most precious thing in the world to me." Those words filled her up like helium in a balloon. She did indeed feel like she was floating in some alternate reality, a surreal dimension where broken things could be fixed. Where her mother was still alive.

"I miss her."

"She was my whole world, sweetheart. I understand." And iSabelle needed to hear that. He wiped a salty tear from her cheek and helped her up.

"Do you want to have a look in that mirror?"

"What if that's a mistake? If I see her now, How will I ever live without her again? Won't I keep coming back for any drop, any taste of her?" He sighed.

"Perhaps. But there is also a chance it will take away some of the ache. It did for me." She huffed.

"That's a lie." She was absolutely sure it was.

"Even so, it did help. It was nice to see her again. But if you feel you would not be able to tear yourself away, you don't have to."

"Will you come with me?" He had not wanted to force her, but she was so very anxious and desperate for any little piece of Lily that she was bleeding inside, and could not pass this up. And so he led her al the way back to that same distorted classroom. Isabelle placed herself in front of the enchanted glass, wondering for a moment If it really were enchanted. But then two other figures joined her own in the mirror: her father and her mother. They looked carefree and happy, and Lily looked about five years older- which meant that Isabelle was seeing her- them- as they would be if she was still alive. Her heart's desire was to have her family back together again, all safe and healthy In the frame her mother kissed her, and her father looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world. He laid a hand on her shoulder, and with a jolt that seemed electric she realized that there really _was_ a hand on her shoulder- his.

She couldn't stop herself from crying now, the disgruntled, grunting, wailing sort of crying. Her Dad's arms closed in around her, holding her… In the mirror she was smiling as her mother danced with her and Daddy laughed.

"Daddy…" she managed, unable to do anything else.

"Oh, love. I see it too. I see her too." His voice seemed far away, drifting, but it was real and something she could cling to.

"It's awful," she said. She had to express just how unfair it was that this had been taken from her.

"Terrible," he replied, not letting her go, and for the first time it hit her she was not alone and had never been. Her father not only loved her, he understood her.

"My Izzy, I love you more than you will ever know."

~ A note from the author on Isabelle Snape ~

So, asides from all the general mushiness (which will not be subsiding in later chapters), this chapter is my favorite in the story because it shows the true nature of Isabelle Snape. She takes after Severus not just in appearance but in character. Most of what you saw of her was her mask. That mask came off a little bit during her conversation with Draco, but here it is really and truly gone. But she's her father's daughter, that's for sure. Hope you all are enjoying! There are only two more chapters until this story comes to an end.


	48. Grandmother Snape

"Look at the dent we put in that bowl!" Isabelle said triumphantly. She was staying at Grandmother Snape's for the weekend, which- even at sixteen- she didn't mind doing. It had been three years since she had crossed paths with the Mirror of Erised, and she now knew what Dumbledore meant about getting her father back (she had known it before, really), but things were better now. But she came to 'Grandma Snape's' all the time, especially during the holidays when they made fruit-cake cookies. And they made a lot of cookies. The bowl of mixed dough was so heavy Eileen could no longer lift it herself. It took them an entire day to get them all baked and packaged, and now they sat in the breakfast nook rolling the dough into balls and placing it on the cookie sheets.

"You're right," Eileen consented, smiling.

"Maybe we should take a break," her granddaughter suggested.

"You're just trying to find an excuse to work on your Charms homework. Don't pretend like I don't know." Isabelle put up her hands to indicate defeat .

"Guilty as charged."

"Alright." Mrs. Snape groaned as she stood- the arthritis in her knees had worsened with aging, and she was completely gray now. Isabelle covered the bowl with saran wrap- a Muggle habit she picked up from Lily. It made a Preserving Charm completely unnecessary. Then she heard a groan from the kitchen and, concerned, she went to investigate. What she found she would never forget for the rest of her life. Her grandmother, one hand clutching the stove for support, the other clutching her chest. It looked like she was having trouble breathing. There was only one other time in her entire life where Isabelle had been so afraid. Keeping a cook head, she whipped out her wand fast as lightning and said, "Expecto Patronum!" When a silky, shimmering doe appeared, she gave it her message"

"Dad, I'm at Grandmother's and I think she's having a heart attack. I'm too nervous to try and Apparate her to St. Mungo's. Bring help." And off the Patronus went. Everything seemed dull as she helped her grandmother to a chair, every ounce of her sure that this was going to end in disaster like everything else had, that the help was going to come too late.

It didn't. The elderly woman was rushed to the hospital, where she spent the next week. Severus and his daughter, of course, never left; when it was time for Isabelle to go back to Hogwarts they fought like cats and dogs about it. It hardly did anyone good, much less herself, for her to stay home. IF she was going to be an Auror she needed lots of education, which both her mother and grandmother would want her to have *and when she was able, Eileen supported this). Severus was unrelenting. But Isabelle argued that education from that point forward was strictly unnecessary, because she'd already taken her O. and it was nothing she couldn't teach herself. She wanted to be there in her family's moment of need. They debated hotly, but on the first day back from Christmas break she was on the Hogwarts Express, reportedly even glummer than usual.

It was not long, however, before she was pulled aside from Transfiguration by Professor Flitwick. Because it was the middle of classes the corridors were empty except for themselves….which was intentional. "I don't really know how to tell you this," he began. "So I suppose I'll rip the Band-Aid off fast and get it over with. Last night at the hospital… your grandmother died. I'm so sorry, child."

Isabelle found that she was mute; even if she had wanted to open her mouth and speak she would not have been able. In fact, she was surprised that she was even still standing, because it felt like she had had the wind knocked out of her. It had been over a week since Eileen's hospitalization, and she had never quite been stable…. There had always been the distinct possibility… When she spoke she had to gasp for air. "How's my Dad? Is he alright?" Her throat was dry. She was having horrifying visions of her father screaming and crying over his mother's bed, just like last time. The thought of such a things was enough to make her light=headed, so that she needed to hold something for support. He must have been a wreck.

"Are _you_ alright?" countered Professor Flitwick. She couldn't think straight. The wheels in her head were turning too fast for her to keep up.

"I will be."

"That's the attitude," said Flitwick proudly. As her Head of House he had dealt with family deaths before. Normally the students were traumatized and did not handle it this well. "You can go up to Ravenclaw Tower and get your things, in that case," the Professor continued. All she could do was nod. She felt like a robot.

"Thank you, sir." He gave her a pot like he was trying to comfort her, but all it did was make her angry; how could he- or anyone but her Dad, for that manner- possibly get it? But she was grateful, too. She could not have gone back inside that classroom. It was almost robotic, climbing the stairs and making the slow trek down the hall, and answering the riddle that opened the portrait that sealed Ravenclaw Tower from the rest of Hogwarts. Across the Common Room to the girl's dormitories on the right. Every step was maddening and wrong. The whole world was wrong. And for the first time she could not handle it.

"It's not fair! Why does everything have to turn out so rotten? Why is everyone I love taken from me? It's not fair!" Kicking the trunk against the bed was not nearly satisfying enough. She took it y its handles and shoved it backwards so that it crashed into the wall. Tears streamed down her face. Her hairbrush rested on the night table, and she trough it at the oval mirror they used ever morning to get ready. It shattered. Now _that_ was satisfying. "I want my Dad!" she screamed. He'd take care of her.

"Isabelle, honey…" She flew into his arms without a moments hesitation.

"Why does the universe hate me, Daddy?"

"The universe it indifferent to you."

"Why does God hate me, then?"

"It can be tempting, now, to leave your faith, when you feel like God has left you. But, Isabelle, He hasn't, nor will He."


	49. Crossing the Finish Line

Severus had gotten to the hospital as soon as the Patronus came. He was nervous, certainly, but eager too. It had already been several hours, but he had only been told just now. At least the message had not been sent by Owl- that would have been too slow.

"I'm looking for Isabelle Hunt's room," he told the woman at the reception desk, who clicked a couple of keys on her keyboard. He had no idea why she had wanted to come to a Muggle hospital, of all the miserable places, but nevertheless wild horses could not stop him from being here.

"What relation?"

"Father." She gave him a fake, plastered smile, but today, he could not bring himself to offer his usual smile.

"Room 213." Daniel Hunt was waiting for him on the floor, his son in law and close friend. There was an expression of wonder and awe on his face; he had just witnessed life entering the world, in all its pain and suffering and glory- and what's more, life that he helped create.

"Izzy's fine," he rattled straight off, knowing his father-in-law's eccentric personality and that even in all the chaos of this moment considerate that above all he would ask about his daughter. After all, he knew how that felt now.

"It's a girl. A perfectly healthy, seven-pound baby girl"

"Your hands are shaking," Severus observed. He could imagine his had been too.

"Were you this nervous? When Izzy was born?"

"Yes. Calm down, Daniel, you're doing fine. Here we are." He opened the door to Room 213. If you turned all the lights off you still would see Isabelle's grin. She looked sweaty and disheveled, but ecstatic all the same, and the worried about her than the baby. The little girl was swaddled in a pink blanket and wrapped in her mother's arms.

"Hi, Daddy." He came over and kissed her on the top of the head. Losing her, letting go had been hard. But she'd reached the family. And even though the Dark Lord was dead now, it was still an incredibly difficult job. Now, though, Severus only had eyes for the scrunched-up, sleeping face in the bundle. "She's so beautiful, isn't she?"

"She is," he answered. "What is her name?"

She whispered it so softly and tenderly that there was no doubt in his mind she would be excellent at reading bedtime stories. "Lily Eileen." Years ago his pain in hearing that would have been unbearable. But time had healed him, and…

"It's perfect." They had been two of the most important people in his life. Honoring them in this way could not have made him happier.

"She has my eyes," Isabelle said. Daniel smiled as he looked on, and unbeknownst to either of them, took a photograph that would one day mean a lot to Lily Eileen. "I feel brand-new, Dad. Like the best part of my life is just beginning."

"Oh, sweetie, it is."

"God has blessed us this day, and we have finally, finally crossed the finish line."

The End

Thank you all for reading! I wish you all the very best!


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